Need help starting my new life...

I am trying to start getting back on my feet not only physically after my surgery but also emotionally and financially. My husband has not been supportive of me or anything that I have been trying to do since we've been together 5 years now. I told him yesterday that I was leaving him. I am in need of networking buddies to help find a new home and also I was laid off from my job back in January and I'm trying to find people who might know of positions open. I am a graphic designer by trade but I'm not above flipping burgers if it means I can make my car payment and afford soup for my diet...lol. If you know of any jobs or houses for rent I would really appreciate all the information you can give me.
I look forward to hearing from anyone.
Thanks.

Gidget, I have no leads for a job or rental but wanted to let you know you will be in my thoughts and prayers as you go through this difficult time in you life............Carrie

I'm so sorry you're having such a hard time.  This journey is hard enough under the best cir****tances.  Adding marriage and job troubles is stress that makes it that much harder.  I'm sorry I can't help with the job situation.  I'm an educator, so I'm not in your field.  I'm in eastern NC too, so I'm not that close to you.  You're close to Raleigh and I'm guessing there are lots of opportunities there as well as a potentially good network of support people you can connect with.  Has your nutritionist, psych evaluator, or surgeon suggested any area support groups?  I'm sure there must be at least one in the Raleigh area.  I'm not sure what graphic designers do, but I'm guessing newspapers, magazines, and other publishing companies could use someone with your talent and experience.  Of course, the more weight you lose the greater your confidence level and that will help your job prospects too.  The best of luck to you.

As for your husband, I have noted here on the board that lots of husbands seem to freak out when their wives undertake this journey.  It's something spouses have to work through, hopefully together.  However, it sounds like your husband has never supported you in anything and that is truly sad.  What was his reaction when you told him you wanted out?  Did he show any willingness to work things out?  Do you think counseling will help?  My husband wants to do the RNY too and hopefully we can take this journey together.  Right now however he has yet to get his act together, do his homework, read any food labels, learn about nutrition, or make any significant lifestyle changes.  If he doesn't get his act together by his surgery date I will tell our surgeon he's not ready.  I am not going to allow his failure to affect me!  I am all for supporting each other on this journey, but he has to do his part and so far he's not doing it.  I was a single girl until I was 38 and I think that made me a staunchly independent, self-sufficient woman.  So, sharing my life with someone else has been a challenge, to say the least.

Thank you for the words of encouragement. I went to a support group meetup this morning and I'm feeling much better about my whole situation. I know that I will find just the right job opportunity. I'm not really that worried about it. I will have my unemployment for a while and I work part time in an office filing and doing accounts payable so I can stay above water financially. As for my husband, I'm not sure how this is all going to pan out. I have found a new house to rent so that I can move on with my life and start to get healthy both physically and mentally, but I would really rather stay where I am at. I have asked him if he would move out so that I can stay since he can't pay the rent on his own. We are going to have to have a serious talk tomorrow. He's staying away for the weekend so that we can both think about things. My landlord now really wants me to stay as a tenant but can understand if I have to leave to start a new life alone. He's leaving it up to me and even said he would lower my rent until I can get  back on my feet. I am just so unsure of what to do when it comes to him. He really has nowhere else to go and I'm not trying to leave him out in the cold. I asked if I let him stay here until he can afford to find his own place in a few weeks if he would let me keep the house we are in now. I'm pretty sure he will do that but I know that it's going to be awkward living under the same roof until then. Oh well...I guess things will sort themselves out one way or another. All I know is that I'm going to do what's best for me and if that isn't comfortable for him then he's just going to have to deal with it. 

Ok now that I've completely dumped all my problems onto this little box...I feel much better.

Keep me in prayers.

Thanks!

(((((HUGS)))))

I can so relate to your post.  While I was recovering from surgery at my Mom's house - my then roommate (ex-fiance) called to see when I was coming home - outta the blue I told him to pack and move while I was at her house. We had over 5 years of history together. There were lots of reasons why we never quite made it to the altar (Thank God). For me it was all about starting over and putting myself first.

Good Luck to you and I wish you the very best.

- Iris