Ben's 3 month follow-up

Many of you know that my dear husband Ben had RNY 12/11/08. While I created an account for him here on OH, he honestly doesn't log on or post much. He says he had his own support group through me, the General Group and speciality groups I run... He might have a point. At any rate, Ben had his 3 month follow up today. He didn't lose as much as he 'wanted' to lose, but he is significantly ahead of the statistical curve. They said that most patients will lose about 30 percent of the weight that the are going to lose and/or about 30% of their excess weight by their 3 month appointment. Ben has lost a bit over 50 lbs since surgery, a total of 130 lbs from his high weight, so he has lost 40 percent of his excess weight. He's doing just great. He was hoping to lose about 60 lbs, so he was a bit disappointed, but his medical team thinks that he's doing great and so do I.

When he had his surgery he was wearing a size 3X and wearing size 48 pants, today he's teetering between 40's and 42's depending on who makes 'em and how they are cut and he's wearing a size 2X shirt. The guy will slim down, but he'll always be built like a cross between a mack truck and an english bulldog. LOL

Even with all of the weight loss and change in sizes, Ben is really having trouble seeing the losses. He said for one thing, he didn't really see himself as 'that big' before, but now he's not seeing the progress... even with taking photos once a month. I can see that he gets smaller and smaller in front of the door that I have him stand in front of, but he's still not seeing it. I know that he will eventually, but this too will take time.

If you want to see Ben's progression, you can check out his photos at http://picasaweb.google.com/barbara.cumbo/BenSWLSJourney?aut hkey=Gv1sRgCOiV96eui9jXxwE&feat=directlink 

 

Barbara,

I totally understand what Ben is going through. It is as much in your mind as it is physical. According to my scales I have lost 59 pounds since 12-02-08 and I don't think that is enough. I have gone from a size 22/24 to a 16 in the regular dept. I have my 3 month check up tomorrow. I hate I missed Ben. Please tell him that he looks great and I can tell a big difference in his pictures. I have to keep telling myself that I didn't put it all on in one day and it really is coming off fast. Lately, it seems to have stalled some. Tell Ben to keep up the good work!!

Heidi

Hi Heidi,

I'm so sorry that we missed you too. Ben was the only one that was 3 months out. Apparently now they mix up the groups and you may not be with the folks you started you journey with... There were 2 people that were 1 year out, no one else was 3 months out and no one was 6 months out. Ben was kind of disappointed.

Re: your progress... You are doing amazingly well!!! I was 4.5 months along before I had lost that much. I know that it takes a while to get your head around this, but you are doing so well. Keep up the good work.

Wishing you all the best and continued success,

Barbara,

     I can really tell in the photos.  He is looking great.  Great job for him.  It is hard for me too.  But friends and family tell me alot.  Tell him to keep up the good work and congrats.

Vickie

Hi Barbara.  I am so glad you wrote to update about your husband.  He looks fabulous!  Like him, I am also 3 months out and was not mentally seeing the physical changes taking place with my body.  Everyone at work kept telling me how much smaller I looked, especially in the face.  Did I see it? Yeah right.  However, I think I finally had a small break through this weekend.  My husband took me shopping and a friend came to help.  I started with the size I knew I could fit into, but then I remembered people posting on here about actually fitting a smaller size, so I was looking very closely at how the clothes fit me to make sure I wasn't buying too big.  For the first time in a long time, I actually felt cute again in my clothes.  I have gone from wearing a 26/28 to 18/20.  The only 18 I have ever been associated with was my age!  Unlike your husband, I haven't allowed pictures to be taken of me since my surgery because I didn't want to be disappointed in how I looked.  However, my husband lovingly insisted that I needed to finally take a new picture and compare it to before surgery.  Both of us went OMG and our eyes popped when we saw them side by side.    However, after the elation, sadness and embarrassment set in.  I went back and looked at our two year anniversary pictures from October and felt  so bad because until now, I really had not realized how big I really was.  Please tell Ben to keep up the great work, and I wanted to tell you thank you for everything you do on here to help all of us.

Take care,

Stephanie

Stephanie,

First of all congratulations on your amazing metamorphosis. You are doing a wonderful job. Secondly, while it's not uncommon and I have struggled with this myself, try not to beat yourself up for what you 'did to yourself' and remember what you are now 'doing' for yourself. I do not mean to downplay the anger, frustration, grief that comes with realizing how we have limited ourselves, but remember that now you are freeing yourself. Do take the photos. It will be important to see where you have been and how far you have come... Trust me on this.

I'll pass your compliments on to Ben and I wish you both continued success.

 

Sounds like your DH is doing very well.  My DH would just as soon get his support from me, and what I read him on the forums, as well.   The important things is they know where they can go for help and support.

Hey Barb,

Thanks for posting.  And you tell Mr. Benjamin that he and I have to have a little sit down talk at our next get together.  I have been there, done that, and its time for me to pass along a little wisdom to my friend.  The photos tell it all.  Hes doing great.  See ya'll soon...

Dalton

Will do, but you know how our heads can mess with us. If he was watching you get smaller, I'll bet he could see it, but he honestly doesn't see the progression even when he looks at the photos. He said he can see that his face has slimmed and neck and maybe a bit around the abdomen, but he doesn't see a major difference. That said, when I was losing and having a hard time seeing my loses, he was my biggest cheerleader.

It'll come, I'm sure.

See you soon,

Tell Ben I said Congratulations on his weight loss!  130 lbs!   Wow!  He will be able to see it soon enough.  I have just gotten to the point where I can see my weight loss.  I just looked in the mirror one day and was surprised at what I saw.  I hope to see both of you soon.  I will talk to you soon!

Jamie