So I just told mom about surgery!

Told mom about my decision to have WLS. Did not intend to tell her until closer to surgery but it just came out>  I new she would not take it well. She is 82 y/o and worries about everything. I got what I expected "I don't want to loose you but it's your life and you don't eat that much, how is it going to help you, you just need to....." We had a friend that died years after her WLS but she cont to smoke and not follow the plan, so that is what she related. I tried not to give TMI but the basics and how miserable I am now and my dr said I would be in a wheelchair in a year if I didn't loose the weight. Doesn't she want me to be healthier and how I am risking my life now,etc.... She left saying she would not worry but I know she will. I'm sorry for the long post but I had to vent to someone that I knew could relate and understand.  Anyone have the problem??

We had a friend that died years after her WLS but she cont to smoke and not follow the plan, so that is what she related.

If your friend died years after her WLS that means she had it done years ago.

WLS has come SO FAR over the years. Maybe point that out to mama and tell her that you continuing to live your life the way you are now is much riskier than ANY surgery.

I had to "convince" my mom too. (She's 76) Now that I've had it done and she sees first hand the health benefits, she's one of my biggest advocates. She's from the "older" generation too so I know your hesitance at telling her.

Do it for you and hope that everyone who loves you supports you. If they don't, WE DO!!!!

I actually sent my mom a long letter and a very recent pamphlet explaining  the sugery in detail. I knew if I approached it with her verbally she would have shut me right off. (She's very opinionated! LOL)

Best of luck, my friend. They will see the light when they see you healthier and happier. My fam & friends did.

xoxo
Mare

After being with my mom today at the pool and her statement about my suit she also said not dont wear any suit with a floral pattern it has to be black or navy OMG
When getting her back home I saw there was one nurse.
I told the nurse there was no way she could transfere mother by herself.
So I stayed and helped and now I can tell my back has been strained.
I am sure mother maybe jelous of what I have done to help myself and probally wishes she had a chance to do the same for herself.
                                                                Annie

Hi Connie,

I have to admit that my mother was very concerned as well. My mother lives with me more than half the year, so there was no keeping it from her. My sister was concerned as well. Since my mother is near, I told her that I welcomed her concern and her questions. That of course, this was a well-considered decision that I had discussed with my drs at length and that I had researched exhaustively. I then told her that I appreciated her concern and questions and wanted her to ask any questions she might have... she might come up with a question that had not occured to me that I'd like to have answered... And she did. I also invited her to come with me to any of my Dr's appointment and to ask any questions she had directly. It really seemed to help her to be able to talk to the Dr and ask questions. When we did this, I wasn't letting her try to disuade me, but I was honestly appreciated her concern and the additional information I gathered as a result of her questions.

I wish you all the best.

I also asked my mother who had concerns if she would like to accompany me to the drs for my pre-op visit. She is 74 and a RN. Now you would think that because she worked as a nurse for years she would be more open to it but not really. She had seen it when the procedure went wrong more than right. She wanted me to get the lapband which is what I initially wanted. After she and the dr talked and her questions were answered, she was on board. It made it so much easier for me once I had her support. Good luck.

Thank you for all your responses. I know it is a mothers nature to worry about their children, I know I do mine. She really cannot relate because she is 5'4" and weighs about 120. I think she will come around eventually and it may be good to give option to go to pre-op. She is so much healthier than I am and can go all day long. At the point I am at I will not make it to 82 but hoping to change all that!!