Overcome with guilt...

I am overcome with guilt.  When I went into this surgery I made promises to myself that I would change my whole life...I haven't done that...I haven't done much to be honest with all of you.  I am now 6 months out, down 98 lbs., but honestly I haven't exercised even 3 times.  I was never good at it before and reality is I'm not good at it now.  I want to want to do it...but honestly, I've never felt better in my whole life...I work I walk ALL DAY and I feel like I could walk for an eternity.  I have no signs of asthma at all anymore.  I truly feel like a million bucks, except the guilt is just really overwhelming...Everyday I think about what I should be doing and it just seems like after getting up at 5:30am, working all day, chasing after a 1 1/2 year old and 4 year old until they fall asleep, I just want to do other things. 
I try to take my vitamins like I should...and I'm good at that except all the damn calcium pills.  I never eat more than the nut recommends, but I can't tell you I haven't had a little chocolate or icecream or some of my other comforting friends.  Instead of a bag or a pint, I just have a bite or two. 
Any idea on how to LOVE working out?  What's the one exercise you enjoy the most and couldn't do without?

Thanks for listening to my guilty conscience. 
 

let me start out with this(((((((((((((((((((((((hugs)))))))))))))))))))))))))))). second let me say..It is NEVER too late to make changes. You recognize where you need to and thats half the battle. Hang in there hun. Just wanted to sho you some support.

Polly
Thank you so much for not ripping me a new one...I appreciate that...I want to make the changes, I just need to try harder.
Thank you for your support, that's what I need more than anything I think.

Hey from one of Dr P'S patients to another, anytime you need to vent or whatever,I got ya girl! Just remember why you had this surgery and make it count hun. Hang in there

Polly
Thanks again for the hug...I'm going to do everything I can to get my a$$ moving!!!

I really know myself well enough to know that I can never be very consistant with exercising. I want to love it too but I haven't gotten there yet either. I do like water aerobics enough to want to go and do make it there from time to time but I have a very phsycal job (Doggie Daycare) that I deliberatly applied for and was lucky enough to land to make sure I get a really good work out a minimum of 3 days a week and often its now getting to be 5 days a week. I even have gone as far as wearing a pedometer to see how far I am really walking and it comes out to nearly 10,000 steps that is recommended to try to get to daily to remain healthy and fit. I love that I am now able to work and 4 or 5 hour shift and then come home and find I still have energy to do a lot of other things. My before life I could not have possibly lasted this long at this job and I certainly would have been done for the day after just two hours of working. I would not have had any energy left for anything. Don't feel guilty about not following some formal workout routine because you are moving around all day it seems and I bet you move more than before and it does even out. We do need to sit down and rest from time to time. I find I do that a lot less but I still do it. I also find that my feet don't give out on me so quickly anymore. So I am getting fitter and I bet you are too.

I had never heard the of the 10,000 steps until now...Now I'm anxious to see how much I'm really walking...Thanks for the idea!!!

(((((((Michelle)))))))),

This is a process. It takes time. We had a Grads Group Get Together tonight and one of the things that we talked about is that this is a process and different people will get there in different ways. We have a number of things to conquer. We have to lose an enormous amount of excess weight. We have to deal with the demons associated with our comfort, binge or any other food related issues that helped us get where we were in the first place. We have to find a way to get moving. All of that said, you have made huge strides with getting the excess weight loss. You recognize that some of your behaviors need to change to ensure your long term success. Pat yourself on the back for the successes you have racked up.

To keep on the right road, consider getting a pedometer. You should be moving about 10K steps per day. You might be surprised that you might be getting more 'exercise' than you think. If you notice that you aren't close to your 10K steps, turn on the music, radio, etc... and shake it until you rack up the numbers you need.

Re: having a 'extras' ... this is something that you have to think about. Personally, I prefer to be able to have some 'extras'. My rule is that I have to have my protien first, then complex carbs and then if I have room okay... but I'm much farther out than you and I've lost all of the excess weight I wanted to lose. The other thing, is that this can be a very slippery slope and if you have addressed the 'head issues' you have with food, you could end up in trouble. This very issue was a topic of discussion at tonight's Grads Group Get Together. If you don't get a handle on the head issues and learn to 'manage' the extras you could end up with unwelcome regain.

Re: Calcium. You really have to take it or you can be facing some serious issues a few months or years down the road. Please do take care of yourself.

Wishing you all the best,

Barb,

You are so right about it being a process...and like everyone says they fixed my stomach, not my brain.  I know it's up to me to change the rest and maybe with me moving back to Texas I can give myself a fresh start.

I'm making every effort to get those vitamins in...I'm happy to report that today I got all my other vitamins in and 4 out of the 6 calcium pills.  I think I might have thrown the first two up, but at least I made the effort...LOL

How is your daughter feeling?  I'm glad the injury wasn't as bad as initially thought.  Still praying for your daughter.

Thanks for all your support!!!
 

Hi Michelle,

I think that you should pat yourself on the back for the effort that you are making to get in all of your supplements. Remember that we do falter, the difference between succeeding and failing is continue to try and grow. You will succeed in the long term because even when you falter, you get up and keep going.

Thanks for asking about Sarah. The swelling is going down and she's complaining about the crutches and brace, so she must be doing better. LOL. She has to wear the brace for another week and then we'll see the Dr again. She will most likely start physical therapy after we see the Dr. I am so very grateful that she didn't do irreparable damage to her leg.

Thanks again and keep your chin up.