setting limits part two

I am glad to report that I have done my workout for me and only me this morning. I got the call from mothr beforte I strted saying her maid was sick and one of the nurses could not be there until a certain time.
Ok so we know what this means I will be taking her to UNC for her appointment.
I made sure to work very hard on my machines this morning to help me deal with the anger and frustration.
I am also not above asking people to help me where her appointment is they usally have people at the door to help patients getting in and out cars ect...
The last appointmentI went with her  the nurse did come with us and it was a breeze with her help.
The nurse did point out to me that my mother does very little to help herself even as far as pulling her hood up on her jacket.
Thxs Iris and Barb for your feedback so many tims I need a sounding board to vent.

                                                  Annie

Hi Annie,

It's hard you have someone who will not care for themselves and wants you to do so for them. Keep doing what you are doing. Take care of yourself as you do what you need and want to do to care for them.

Well Barb it was a intresting afternoon I must say.
I did find out I CAN hook mother up in the van and take her to this place or that place.
We got to her appointment only to sit there over an hour.
Many people were complaining to the girls at the desk.
They told everyone the doctors were backed up.
Well I went to the bathroom and when I returned I found mother complaining at the desk too.
A few minutes later she turned to me to tell me we were leaving LOL ok so I get her back in the van and got her home.
When I got her home a nurse was there and was helpful getting her back in the house.
Mother asked if I was going to dentist with her tomorrow.
I told her we talked about that earlier and she said her morning nurse was taking her.
I think mother has some signs of demtia at times.
It wasent all a bad day I had to show myself I can park the van hook her up and walk anywhere.
                                                                   Annie

I agree with Barb - take care of yourself first and foremost. You bring so much to this board that the very least I can do is help you vent.

Have a great afternoon - I know you will.

- Iris

Thanks Iris I am so grateful to have friends like I have her on OH.
BTW give my best to Wayne you know I am a Wayne fan.
                                                      Annie

Hi Annie!
My New Years resolution this year was to be good to myself and take care of myself!!! (a change from the usal "lose weight" resolution that i've made in so many years past!!!).  Anyway, i digress.  What i'm trying to say is You need to make YOU a priority and let everything else line up behind you!!! 

If you're not good to yourself, you won't be good for anyone else, including Mom & Hubby!!! 

Over the years i've also learned that "NO is a complete sentence".  I use the sentence often now... You cannot be everything to everybody and still be true to yourself.  You can only do so much for others and still take care of yourself!!!  YOU are important.  Keep up your good work Annie!!

Thanks for the talking too Judy I normally do try to put myself and my health over all else.
Only I can take care of me and only I have to live with what I can and cannot do as far as my pouch goes.

BTW I wanted to tell you for the first time in a longggg time I had some macaroni keep in mind it was in a soup.
The soup I had was Healthy Choice Garden Vegtable for now this seems to be the soup of choice at lunch I love the stuff.

As for mother I cant begin to tell you how many times I have told her I need advance notice before taking her places.
Mother is the kind of person when she barks you jump.
Lee and I have both told her we are not able to do that all the time.
So far this morning I have not gotten the phone call to take her to the dentist.
Hopfully her nurse will be taking her as we talked about.
                                                          Annie
                                                            

Annie,

I'm glad you got your workout in today, it is frustrating having to deal with family sometimes.  Your Mom is lucky to have you to help her.  Vent away girl!  We're here for you for the good, bad and the ugly!!!  I don't get online every day but I do play catch up when I come online.  Sending you some vibes for patience today girl!

Hugs!

Sheryl

Thxs Sheryl,
Many times I find myself questioning my desiions about my mother and many times the guilt will set in there is no easy answer to helping her when it is at a point she cant help herself.
In fact when I was getting her out of the van yesterday I unhooked her seatbelt and the strap was still over her chest and she said can you move this.
OMG she cant even move the strap for herself.
When I see things like this it makes me want to workout even more.
I wonder sometimes if mother had taken control of her life at the age I am now and started to exersise on a regular bases I wondr if she would still be in shape she is in now.
                                               Annie

LOL Annie... As i said... NO is a complete sentence.  Since she has various other options, yoou should not feel guilty if you can't do something for her....