setting personal limits
She lives in her own villa in an assissted living situation and we have round the clock nurses and maids for her care through the day.
Yesterday mother wanted to know could I take her to see a docotor at 2;40 today.
I said I would be glad to but I would like one of her nurses to come with us to help me get her hooked into the van in her wheelchair ect.. I am able to bend kneel whatever it takes to get her hooked up in the van but I feel to have another pair of hands would be very helpful to me and her.
Also if a nurse did not come they would sit at her home until we returned.
Am I wrong for feeling this way?
After I told her what I needed she got mad at me and said she would figure something else out.
She sure knows how to lay a guilt trip on me.
Also where she lives they provide transportation to and from appointments.
Annie
I was wondering how things were going with your Mom. Spoon feeding guilt is something that some mothers are just better at than others. There's no need to feel guilty. You know that she is well taken care of and that the "home" she is in provides more than just the basic necessities. As you've posted here before - your Mom isn't always willing to help herself but expects you to do it for her. That's her choice. Now my dear friend you have a choice - you do not have to accept the guilt she's trying to spoon feed you. Stand up and do what you feel is in your best interest.
(((((HUGS)))))
- Iris
Blessed are the flexible for they shall not be bent out of shape.
Highest Surgery Lowest Current
314.5 294 208 258.4
Annie,
It was and is appropriate for you to say what you need as you help her. You are not being mercenary and you are not saying that you aren't willing to help her. You are asking for help when helping her. If she has a problem with that, maybe she should avail herself of the hired help and transportation available to her.
Barbara
ObesityHelp Coach and Support Group Leader
http://www.obesityhelp.com/group/bcumbo_group/
High-264, Current-148, Goal-145
