People trying to bring me down

Before you had surgery did anyone ever try to bring you down or talk you out of the surgery?  My husband and family is very supportive but a few of my co-workers seem to be trying to throw obstacles in my way or bring up things I don't really need to hear.  Why can't they be more supportive.  One coworker is overweight herself and has been to one seminar a while back and now she just seems to be the expert and she does not even want to have weight loss surgery.  I am sorry to go on.  I just can't understand why people can't be more supportive of those trying to make their life better.

I'm so sorry that you having issues with difficult people.  Sometimes I think that WLS is almost like when a woman get pregnant. Everyone feels comfortable throwing their two cents in.

I did have some friends and family that were concerned. They expressed their concerns and I did my best to address them. However, at some point I needed to diplomatically let them know that I appreciated their concern, but I had researched this issues extensively and after consultation with my Dr's have decided that this is the best decision for me. I must say that sometimes if they raised a concern that I hadn't dealt with, I would research it or ask my Dr about it and it would help me with my personal decision making process. All of that said, no one has the right to belittle or second-guess our decisions about our own healthcare and those who do need to realize that they need to step back.

Wishing you all the best,

Some people are jealous, some people are scared that something bad might happen to you, some people just like to pretend that they know everything.   There are all kinds of reasons people may say and do things to discourage this life changing surgery you are striving for but the bottom line is this ~~  NO ONE CAN BRING YOU DOWN UNLESS YOU ALLOW THEM TO!

It's wonderful that your family and close friends are so supportive of you.  Hang on to that because in the days and weeks following surgery, you will need that support.   As for the coworkers and others who may try to distract or discourage you, take what they say and do with a grain of salt.  YOU know the reasons why you have decided on this surgery and YOU know what courage and strength it takes to make this decision to change your entire life, to be healthy and happy.  You deserve that chance.  Take it and don't look back!!   Focus on all the good things this surgery will do for you and your family and don't worry about what others might have to say about it.  You are taking the opportunity to better your life and your health.  Don't let anything negative stand in your way.  Good luck to you!!!!

Hugs and best wishes,
Donna

I have only told a handful of very close friends that I'm having WLS because I didn't want to hear any negative comments or advice. Just about everyone that I've told has been supportive. There's one friend at work who has been a little bit negative. For example, even today (the day before my surgery) she said I'm really worried for you. I'm just not sure about this. My response was, "Well, I'm not worried at all. I know this is the right decision for me. I've done my homework about it. I've got God on my side and I know everything is going to go GREAT." She said, "Yeah, you're right." and that was it. I guess I've just kept myself very guarded about telling people. I really only told about 6 of my very closest closest friends and then my mother-in-law & father-in-law (because we needed someone to watch the little one). I haven't even told my own parents. They live out of state, so we don't really see them only once or twice a year. I didn't really know if my mom would be supportive or not and I knew if she wasn't supportive it would make me question my decision. I didn't want that. I only wanted to go into this with positive thoughts. On a positive note, I can't wait 'til my mom sees me this summer when we go visit. It'll be awesome to show off my weight loss, especially since she doesn't know I'm having the surgery. Anyway, just remember you have to do what's best for you and just ignore the negativity (I know, easier said than done sometimes). Just focus on yourself and your dreams and goals and what you want for yourself!! Some people are just always going to be negative about everything. Best wishes to you!!

My sister is my best friend and was VERY against me having WLS.  She did not try to talk me out of it (seems that total strangers felt the need to do that) but she was not supportive of the idea either.  After I had WLS she finally told me one day that she knew she was bigger than I was and did not want to believe that I needed the surgery because she did not want to face up to her need for some type of weight loss intervention.  I think that many times people try to talk us out of things or convince us of something not because they are necessarily concerned for us.. but rather they are afraid to face their own shortfalls or insecurities.  

I have really seeen a different side of people since WLS.  I now know that some of my friends liked having me as the "token fat friend" to make themselves feel better.  Many people in your life will not be able to deal with the "new" you.  BUT.. dont let that be a hinderance.  Again.. you are doing this for YOU and nobody else.  Stop listening to toxic people that (for whatever reasons) would rather you stay fat.  

Most of my family nd friends were very supportive. My boss lady kept telling me horror stories about wls. But for the most part I was well supported. One of my heavy friends got a little quiet toward me but she has come around now. Give family and friends time and help them understand what it means for you and they will lighten up.
Myrtis

 I have to thank my wife for being the skeptic in our house. Prior to her WLS sugery she had two friends that had it done. Oh she ranted and went on about how they were nuts for doing the surgery. A month or so later I found her over here in OH looking around at the different procedures and weighing out the risks. She had some problems as well as a high BMI. Then I became the skeptic after she lost almost a whole person. It took me almost two years to get the nerve up to proceed with it. What boiled it down was I wanted so bad to get out in the mountains and not have to huff and puff my big butt up hills and feel my knees aching like hell. I was taking a handfull of pills everyday along with insulin shots and honestly miserable. I had waited a year personally after weaning off some really strong painkillers I was taking for chronic neck and back pain and finally got in to the Gastro surgeon for my first interview. Nobody really treated me like ol fatso but on the other hand since my surgery people do act a bit differently. I just wish there was no prejudging going on due to size but honestly I see how society deals with big people. In reality there is not a real place for us when it comes to socialization. Being a fat buddy is so common its not funny for the over weight person. Even today when I see my buddy Tiger who is at least 400 plus pounds he is just the guy at the coffee place I still like to shoot the breeze with on a regular basis. He may never have WLS but somehow I wish he would. I quit judging people based on size a long time ago and one of my major goals is to not include that in my way of sizing people up either. In the long run its you who you see in the mirror in the morning and your life to make the decisions for. Nobody else is going to be on the table with you when its done either. So should you go forth and finish what you started its great. If you dont decide to do it that is great too because you made the decision not a bunch of hanger ons with opinions. 

 I will say my family and close friends were all more supportive than I thought they'd be.  I got used to that, and enjoyed it immensely.  But now that I've had the surgery and lost the weight, I've come across a lot of people that don't even know me who feel the need to tell me about all the horror stories they've heard.  Often now I respond with something along the lines of, "well now you have a positive WLS to pass along!"  :)  I don't know if it's lack of understanding, fear, or jealousy.  You just have to be secure in the fact that you've made the right decision for you.

Thank you all for your insight.  It really helps to hear from someone else who has been in the same boat.