family support

Greetings all.. this is my first post here...for about a year I've been looking at bypass surgery as a way to redirect my life in a healthier way... personally, I am tired of being overweight...but I'm having a bit of trouble convincing my spouse to go along with the surgery. Any thoughts or advice?

Fortunately, my husband was always on board with my WLS journey.  BUT.. my sister (who is also my best friend as well) was not on board at all.  She would not even talk to me about the surgery.  It was devastating for me.  I needed her support and advice.  After trying to win her over without success I just dropped the subject and kept on my journey.  I did not let her reluctance affect my desire to be healthier and happier.  She eventually came over to my side, but it took time.  

I realize your husband's disapproval is different that a sister's, but you need to do this for YOU.  It is YOUR health that is being affected by the excess weight.  It is your mental well being and happiness that are being impacted.  I feel that when family members object to WLS it is because they are uninformed.  I would like to encourage you to visit support groups and have him attend with you.  Bring him here and let him read.  Show him our pictures.  Heck.. you guys can even email me and I will respond to questions.  Just encourage him to be well educated before he puts down your opportunity to be healthier.  

In my case I would have never been able to lose weight without RNY.  It saved my life and I will shout that from the rooftops if I have to!  LOL   

I understand your feelings. My dh was apprehenive also until he had to take me to the ER thinking I may be having a heart attack. He heard the Dr.s reccomend the wls and he jumped on board the wls train real quick. He has been my best support person and cheerleader during this whole process. Just make sure he understands the health benefits.. I bet he will come around for you. Sometimes I think they believe when we change our size ....we may change our feelings for them also. But my dh loved me at 334 and I him so I just make sure he knows I love him even more now for being my life partener.  It is a big change for them also.
Myrtis

I had the exact same situation as you are going through now.  I actually didn't tell my closest family members (daughter, mother, in-laws****il I was close to my surgical date.  Oddly enough, my biggest champions were my friends and co-workers!  As my date of surgery got closer, my husband started saying some unkind things to me.  I confronted him about it, and his response was, "I didn't think you'd actually go through with it!".  This was after over a YEAR of pre-op requirements, support groups, labs, etc.  I kind of felt like I did this whole thing on my own (which wasn't always a bad thing!).

I didn't even tell my brothers or sister about my surgery, either.  They had no idea until they all came for a visit over Thanksgiving.  By that time I was over 2 months post-op, and had the "surprise factor" in my corner!

Anyway, I'm 4 months post-op today, and he's so proud of me.  After the initial adjustment phase he was completely "on board" with everything, and now he wants to show me off to his friends! 

Hang in there, and it will all work out.  If you ever need someone to talk to, feel free!
Betsy