For me, this has been really hard so far

Please be warned, there is lots of negativity and whining ahead.  I desperately need gentle hands please. 

The RNY definitely has not been a walk in the park for me thus far.  I've had a really, really hard time. 

The hypoglycemia kicks me in the butt on a daily basis.  My symptoms vary but are generally that I am dizzy, light-headed, shaky, heart racing, pale, sweaty, weak, anxious, irritable, tingly numb, confused.  I'm having horrible nightmares and cry daily.  I've become anti-social in that I don't want to go anywhere or talk to anyone.  I'm truly an emotional wreck.

On top of that, because I've had to eat high protein/low carb to try to get a handle on the blood sugar issue, I triggered some horrible IBS issues (mine are not typical) which in turn has triggered hemhoroids from heck.  Getting a handle on the IBS, along with the blood sugar thing, are top priority right now, but neither are easy, especially together. 

Saturday we all went after-Christmas shopping.  I bought a size 24 Levi's, which were loose on me, and a size 20/22 top.  You'd think going from a size 30/32 jean to a 24 in just 6 weeks time would make me feel happy that I had the surgery but all I feel is major regret.  After I bought those clothes, my blood sugar crashed, only 3 hours after I'd had pintos with greens, so I made my way like a crazy woman through the mall to get some soup to help stabilize me. 

It doesn't help that food repulses me now.  I gag on food, drink, brushing my teeth.  I've never been a big foodie anyway, so having to make myself eat something every 3 hours and chew until it is mush is really hard when everything tastes nasty. 

I'm tired of feeling desperate and scared that I'll never feel good again.  I feel so sorry for my family who are having to put up with all of this.  Yes, I am losing the weight and I can finally walk without pain but none of this has been worth the trade-off. 

I am holding on to a thread of hope that all this will get better eventually, but who's to say that the hypoglycemia ever will?  Will it?  I can't imagine living the rest of my life like this. 

I am so sorry to hear about this. I know it will get better, b/c I have read to many other responses where problems have arose and they do get better. You're always so positive and happy it hurts me to think you are so "not yourself". Stay in touch. LINDA

Linda,  Thanks so much.  I tell ya, I can hardly wait to be my old self again!  My brain tells me that logically this will most likely all be better by around 8-12 weeks time, but my emotions say, "Will it truly EVER get better?!"  I'm hanging in there and will definitely keep in touch. 

Shauna the hypoglycemic is something you learn to deal with in time .  If you catch the symptoms when you first start to feel them it doesn't get to where you are so bad you just learn what to eat and when .  When I 1st went on my meds I didn't think I would ever get it but now I just know find what works for me.  you eat what you need  when you need it.  it's all trial and error. Hang in there cause this is not something easy to get a handle on but once you do its old hat

Leslie

Leslie,  I think that is what is wrong right now is I can hardly ever keep ahead of the blood sugar issue.  It's like I'm ALWAYS slightly off kilter, until it gets to the point that BAM!  It knocks me for a real loop.  (Does that make sense?!) 

I had a few hours yesterday that I got ahead of the curve.  Just before taking Cait to the ball field, I drank 1/4 c. OJ and ate a string cheese.  I stayed more stable then than I had in a long time!  Three whole hours of taking her to workouts, going to the grocery store, and helping to cook dinner before I ate again.  Progress!  :) 

This morning I drank my protein shake (about an hour ago) and I still feel like crap.  I think I might try 1/4 c. of OJ again now to see if it helps.  If it does, I may be on to something! 

I'm hoping this isn't something I have to live with long-term, but if it is, I definitely need to figure out how on earth I'm going to manage it. 

So, girlie, the holidays are finally OVER.  Can we say PHEWWW???  hehehe

You will get to feeling better...remember good things are happening and more good things are to come your way. I have heard that it can be more emotional with the RNY than with the Band and you are going through a tough time right now. It will get better...and it's good that food repulses you...it no longer has a hold on you and you can get a hold of your life! Hypoglycemia is scary that's why opted for the Band but I still get dizzy and sick and I have to eat something whether I am hungry or not. I got a blender that is just for one person and you can take it with you. (Kind of like the bullet). It's fun coming up with new "shakes". (Healthy ones of course). Maybe you can make food fun again in a healthy and exciting new way!

I hate that you are down and my thoughts and prayers are with you...and your family.

Celeste,  Good things ARE happening, thanks for the reminder! 

Your little blender sounds neato.  I do need to experiment with making yummy things.  I just haven't had the motivation. 

Oh, we did try a shake the other night made with SF ice cream, protein powder, milk, and 1 SF Dove chocolate...trying to make a Blizzard or something like it.  YUCK!  Noone in the family could drink it!  lol 

I'm needing to read through some of Eggface's casserole recipes.  I used to be a huge casserole fan.  Now to get the motivation to cook! 

Looks like you are doing awesome with your band, by the way!  Congrats and keep up the great job!

(((((Shauna))))),

Please do not feel that you are whining... It's important to be able to come talk to those who have been there so that you can see that you are not alone. That's why we call it a support group. I know how hard this is and the best thing that I can tell you is that this will get better. I too had issues with emergency trips down the hall, alternating with serious bouts of constipation. I also had issues with feeling sweaty, clammy, freezing one minute and burning up the next, night sweats, night terrors, serious depression, crying jags, extreme fatigue, etc... You are not alone in this and I promise, it does get better. I remember being about where you are in this journey and thinking OMG, what have I done. I can't believe I did this to myself. It will and does get better.

It is the depression that is causing and exaserbating some of the issues you are describing... While I understand and have personally dealt with the need to withdraw and pull in as you are feeling overwhelmed and burdened, you are I doing the right thing by reaching out. Here are some things that may help with the depression:

-  Be sure that each day you make a list of things you are grateful for ... they might be related to WLS or not ... it doesn't matter. This will help you see your proverbrial glass as half full instead of half empty.

-  Go outside for a walk at least once everyday. If nothing else make a commitment to go for a walk for 10 minutes a day. You may walk longer, but you will be able to commit to and do 10 minutes. This is important for a lot of reasons. The exposure to the sunlight and fresh air will help your depression. Exercise is also something that will help the depression.

-  Reach out to friends. I know that this sounds simple, but when you are severely depressed, it's much easier said than done. It's hard to feel like you are a burden on others and have nothing to offer, but remember that your 'feelings' about this is skewed and do not acurately reflect reality. You need your friends right now and we want to help you.

I'm so very sorry that you are struggling so. CALL ME!! If you've lost my number, I'll send it to you again.

 

Barb,  I want to thank you again for calling me yesterday and helping to calm my fears.  Can't tell you how much I appreciate your encouragement, comfort and support!  I did get out to the ball field with Caitlin yesterday for her workout and will be able to get over there again today after my dr.'s appointment.  The fresh air, sunshine, and talking with friends did help to lift my spirit!

((((((((((((((Shauna))))))))))))))))))))))))
Hang in there sweets. Sorry you are having such a hard time. I know I am extremely moody now and snappy. I don't mean to be but sometimes i don't catch it. I am getting to the point where the protein shakes are absolutly nasty to me. I REALLY liked them just a few weeks ago. I don't have much advice for you hun, because I am still soo new at this too. But hang in there I am in your corner!