Stress eating...

As many may recall, I was more than a bit distressed as my weight steadily dropped below 140 in to the low 130's. I truly worked on getting it back up into the upper 130's and held there for a while. But about a month ago my life started to get much more stressful than it normally is and I resorted to comfort eating. I guess I had hoped that I wouldn't be able to do that again, but alas, I can and did with a vengence. Especially, when my DH, Ben had his own RNY surgery about 10 days ago. Much to my distress, I have found that I can 'indulge' in Caramel Creme Bullseye candy with absolute abandon. I can eat a whole bag without getting sick ... yep, a whole bag!!! At first, I just had a couple, then a few more, and I was able to control it just fine. But when I became stressed I had a few, then a few more, then a whole darn bag, then another one. With all of that indulgence, and there was a lot of it... more than I'd like to admit, came some weight gain. I got up to 142. I wanted to gain some weight, but I'm not too happy about 'how' I did it. So, I've stopped indulging and I'm back down to 139.

I think that the real thing that I learned was that I'm not 'normal' even if I look normal. At first, I could just have one or two and leave it at that, but when the stress kicked in, I gave in and overdid it. It's clear to me that I have problem using food to comfort myself and that I have to be very aware of what I'm doing if I don't want to end up carrying all of that weight I've worked so very hard to get rid of during the past year and half.

I wasn't sure if I should post this... and I'm still not, but decided that I wanted others to know that it's very easy to slip and fall. It's much harder than I thought to dust yourself off and get back with the program. But learning what our triggers are ... both emotionally and the foods that we use to soothe those emotional triggers is really important if we want to master this and stay healthy for the long run. There are no more bullseyes in the house and it maybe that I'll never be able to have them around... I had hoped I would be able to handle it, but at this point, I just can't, so they are banished.

Barbara,
I appreciate you sharing this with us.  I am 9 months out tomorrow and still in my "honeymoon" stage kind of - really not too tempted and still so excited about everything going on.  I know it will not always be like this and I know I will become used to my new life at some point - and your sharing has helped me know I must always stick with the program and realize I have a wonderful TOOL - but it's only a TOOL - and  not a miracle pouch as much as I would like for it to work that way.

I hope the New Year finds you less stressed and brings answers to the things that are stressing you. 

Thanks for this site and thanks for all you do for us, on the boards, behind the scenes and in your meetings.

Brenda

Hi Brenda,

Thanks for the support. I really do appreciate it. I hope that you will continue to work that tool for all it's worth.

All the best,

I'm right there with you.  I've really had this on my mind recently with the holidays upon us.  The food and sweets have been overwhelming.  I have also discovered, to my dismay, that I am also able to eat a relatively large amount of sweets without being effected.  My comfort food is miniature Reeses cups.  I ate a total of 12 today!  Not all at one time, but yeah, 12! 

Best of luck to you Barb in the new year and here's hoping it will be much less stressful than you are going through now. 

Hi Jason,

I have been debating about whether to 'go public' with my struggles and it was your recent posts that made me decide to share. I think that all too often we think we are alone struggling with these demons, when in reality, more often that not, we are in very good company. I think that as long as we continue to be aware and then work to find ways to manage the issues we have with food ... be it Bullseyes or Reese's cups... we just might have a chance at learning to live thin in the long run.

Wishing you all the best,

Thanks Barbara,

I'm glad that you found my posts helpful.  It makes me very happy to know that I may have, in a small way, helped.  I've never really been "shy" about overeating (maybe it's a "man" thing).  But I did feel the need to put my feelings about food and the relationship it has with my new stomach,body, attitudes, etc.  I'm so pleased to have such a great community to visit of like-minded individuals. 

Hey Barb:

I understand exactly what you are talking about.  When my dad was sick and then passed away, I was buying all kind of junk food.  Fortunately, I would only have a few bites and feel like crap so i would stop.    With the holiday, it is difficult, especially when we had food days at work all last week and i overindulged.  Fortunately, my body revolted and i got sick (which i was happy about) and it makes me think twice about what i am putting in.

Have a Merry Christmas my friend!

Pam

Hi Pam,

Thanks for your supportive note. I wish that I still would feel sick or at least uncomfortable or uneasy when I overindulge, but that's not the case, so now I need to let me fear of losing control and regaining all that weight help me manage this. I now know that this is going to be a life long struggle that will require me to be accountable everyday.

Wishing you continued success,

Hi Barb,
I am grateful to you for so many things and one being that you posted this.
For many of us to have wls affirms to me No we are not normal.

I had to ask Debbi and Ann on the way home last week what are bullseye candies?
Once they explain what they were a light went off in my head.
Call it a food memory.

This morning before Lee left for work I told him how grateful I was not to be in a panic about making sure I had special holiday foods in the house just because it was Christmas.

By your post this reaffims to me why I have to be accountable for my food intake.
I was given a No Sugar Added fruit cake which I dearly love but have noticed I have had it almost a whole week now and have had one slice a day.
In the past the fruit cake would have been long gone within a day or two.

Food for so long has comforted us for so many reasons and learning to find comfort in other ways is not so easy.
Do not beat yourself up. You have seen what can happen and you know what to do to change it.
Thank you again for your honesty and your post.
                                                                           Annie

Hey Barb..  I can totally relate to what you are saying.  Food is a demon for me too.  We are all food addicts..  and even though RNY has afforded many of us a skinnier body we still struggle with those old habits that made us fat in the first place.  Stress is one of the triggers I have for overeating or overindulging in things I should not.  For so many years we lied to ourselves about how much we eat and how often we eat becuase like any other addict we worked hard to cover up that we were eating ourselves into an early grave.  I know I was digging my grave with a spoon and fork...  

I certainly don't have any answers to controlling your stress eating urges and I know that removing those "forbidden" foods will certainly help you out.. but at LEAST you are aware of what/how/when that eating pattern kicks in and takes over.  I will say a prayer for you.  :)  And rest assured that your friend in Wadesboro can totally relate!!