Feeling like a failure/fraud...(long)
Hi!
So Christmas Day will mark my three week surgiversary. I have only lost 34-38 pounds. At first, I thought that this was great but then realized that this is the most I have ever been able to lose. I have slipped back into my old eating habits ( I am so ashamed to admit this, I could cry). Today for lunch I had a Spicy Chicken Sandwich and fries!! Then, I was still hungry a couple of hours later and I had TWO 100 calorie snack packs. I keep fluctuating between 34-38 pounds and asking myself why. I am trying to exercise. I am doing good to make it two-three days per week. I stopped taking my protein shakes about a month ago thinking that I could get all my protein in with food, but then my hair really started falling out so I started those again this morning.
I am afraid to tell anyone about this because they just won't understand. My family is constantly asking me about it, my sister asks me what I eat every day and how much of it I can it. I know that it is curiosity but it makes me feel guilty.
I saw some of what the other fellow lap banders are losing and I feel like I am not progressing as well as I should. I have had some wow moments, like the other day, I went to get my rings sized and I was down a size and a half, then tried on clothes and I am down two sizes. Even with this, I am still feeling like a fraud. Can anyone else relate?
Amanda
So Christmas Day will mark my three week surgiversary. I have only lost 34-38 pounds. At first, I thought that this was great but then realized that this is the most I have ever been able to lose. I have slipped back into my old eating habits ( I am so ashamed to admit this, I could cry). Today for lunch I had a Spicy Chicken Sandwich and fries!! Then, I was still hungry a couple of hours later and I had TWO 100 calorie snack packs. I keep fluctuating between 34-38 pounds and asking myself why. I am trying to exercise. I am doing good to make it two-three days per week. I stopped taking my protein shakes about a month ago thinking that I could get all my protein in with food, but then my hair really started falling out so I started those again this morning.
I am afraid to tell anyone about this because they just won't understand. My family is constantly asking me about it, my sister asks me what I eat every day and how much of it I can it. I know that it is curiosity but it makes me feel guilty.
I saw some of what the other fellow lap banders are losing and I feel like I am not progressing as well as I should. I have had some wow moments, like the other day, I went to get my rings sized and I was down a size and a half, then tried on clothes and I am down two sizes. Even with this, I am still feeling like a fraud. Can anyone else relate?
Amanda
Starting/Current/Goal 343/305/175
Hi Amanda,
Have you had a fill yet?
I do not know much about The Band but I have read where banders need a fill every now and then.
Also for me personally I have to record my food intake everyday.
It can be a pain sometimes but it helps me keep track of just what and how much I am taking in.
I understand how you feel when looking at what others are loosing.
I try to keep focased on how I feel and how my clothes feel and hardly ever get on that scale.
The only one you have to be accountable too is yourself.
Sending you big hugs and a smile.
Annie
Have you had a fill yet?
I do not know much about The Band but I have read where banders need a fill every now and then.
Also for me personally I have to record my food intake everyday.
It can be a pain sometimes but it helps me keep track of just what and how much I am taking in.
I understand how you feel when looking at what others are loosing.
I try to keep focased on how I feel and how my clothes feel and hardly ever get on that scale.
The only one you have to be accountable too is yourself.
Sending you big hugs and a smile.
Annie
MAndy,
Do you have a nutritionist you can call??? At our last support group in Hickory we discussed the hunger issue. THe nutritionist said that the first thing she addresses. with clients is when are they drinking their liquids.
Example. Our program wants people to not drink 15-30 minutes before meals, nothing with the meals and I think 30 minutes afterwards. The theory behind this is that the liquids flush the food thru the stomach and intestines and then you are hungry again.
Depending on the size of the lap band it can take longer to get good restriction. Its especially important to do protien first, vegetables, and then your carbs because when you do have good restriction you will not be able to eat the breads, rice and pastas. How many grahms of protien are you eating/drinking is important too.
Everybody looses at their own pace. I have a co worker who had surgery 9/11 and she has only lost 30 pounds. It will come off. Just eat right, and exercise. Positive thinking is 90% of loosing weight with any program.
Tamara
Do you have a nutritionist you can call??? At our last support group in Hickory we discussed the hunger issue. THe nutritionist said that the first thing she addresses. with clients is when are they drinking their liquids.
Example. Our program wants people to not drink 15-30 minutes before meals, nothing with the meals and I think 30 minutes afterwards. The theory behind this is that the liquids flush the food thru the stomach and intestines and then you are hungry again.
Depending on the size of the lap band it can take longer to get good restriction. Its especially important to do protien first, vegetables, and then your carbs because when you do have good restriction you will not be able to eat the breads, rice and pastas. How many grahms of protien are you eating/drinking is important too.
Everybody looses at their own pace. I have a co worker who had surgery 9/11 and she has only lost 30 pounds. It will come off. Just eat right, and exercise. Positive thinking is 90% of loosing weight with any program.
Tamara
Mandy......
First off, congrats on the 34+ lbs. I can relate on the fraud issue,sometimes I feel that way. My head is saying "well, I've lost most of the weight, I can afford to treat myself" and then it starts to be another treat, then another. If you haven't done so before, read the bandster rules. Here are some other ideas.......not like I'm a pro, I need to be better in some of these myself...
1. Have you had a fill? If not, girl, it's time. There is NO way your band should be able to let you eat that volume with proper restriction. You need to tell the Dr. exactly what volume you can eat at one setting so he can properly evalulate you.
2. Excercise if not a "try", it is a must. When I was loosing really good, I was exercising.......now? Well, I plead the 5th.
3. Start the morning with a protein shake, make sure you get that mid-morning snack, then a protein lunch. Make sure your pouch never gets the chance to get really hungry.
4. Water----you've got to do it...make it a project.
5. Don't let your family pressure you into telling them your diet. They are not the food police and even though you mess up today, tomorrow is a new day!
Hang in there girl.........let me know how it goes....and TRY to do your best at Christmas. I am going to wait for my fill untill after Christmas, lol.
Nancy
First off, congrats on the 34+ lbs. I can relate on the fraud issue,sometimes I feel that way. My head is saying "well, I've lost most of the weight, I can afford to treat myself" and then it starts to be another treat, then another. If you haven't done so before, read the bandster rules. Here are some other ideas.......not like I'm a pro, I need to be better in some of these myself...
1. Have you had a fill? If not, girl, it's time. There is NO way your band should be able to let you eat that volume with proper restriction. You need to tell the Dr. exactly what volume you can eat at one setting so he can properly evalulate you.
2. Excercise if not a "try", it is a must. When I was loosing really good, I was exercising.......now? Well, I plead the 5th.
3. Start the morning with a protein shake, make sure you get that mid-morning snack, then a protein lunch. Make sure your pouch never gets the chance to get really hungry.
4. Water----you've got to do it...make it a project.
5. Don't let your family pressure you into telling them your diet. They are not the food police and even though you mess up today, tomorrow is a new day!
Hang in there girl.........let me know how it goes....and TRY to do your best at Christmas. I am going to wait for my fill untill after Christmas, lol.
Nancy
Hi Amanda,
I'm sorry that you are struggling and even though I have the RNY, I can relate to your feelings of being a fraud and/or a failure, but you are not. You are struggling, not failing. I'm so glad that Nancy responded. She's someone who has been there and had some great advice.
Hang in there honey. Call your Dr. re: restriction issues and be sure to log what you consume. I find that when I do that, I tend to make better 'choices' because I police myself and as Nancy said, don't let others police you, you are the one you need to be accountable to.
It it makes you feel any better, even with my RNY, I had lost about the same amount you have at the same juncture in my journey.
Remember that while the did surgery on your tummy, they didn't do any surgery on your head and that's where you'll need to some work as well ... not only to take off the excess weight, but to keep it off in the long run... In this area, I struggle as well...
Hugs,
Barbara
ObesityHelp Coach and Support Group Leader
http://www.obesityhelp.com/group/bcumbo_group/
High-264, Current-148, Goal-145
Thanks for the post. I will say that I am already doing some of the things that were mentioned. I don't drink and eat and I wait to drink before/after a meal. I do write down what I eat as well (except for yesterday when I could not bear to write down what I ate). I have had TWO fills already and I go back to my Dr. on the 30th. I think that I got the larger band so it may take longer I guess.
What is strange is that somedays I can eat more food the others. There are plenty of days where I can only eat about half of what is on my plate (salad plate) and then there are days it seems I can consume large quantities of food. Very strange. It does not seem to be consistent. I feel ashamed to tell my Dr. what I ate yesterday b/c I know he will give me a lecture.
Yesterday after work I went straight to the gym and did an 1 1/2 hour work out. That made me feel better. Anyways, thanks for the all the advice and continued support....
Amanda
What is strange is that somedays I can eat more food the others. There are plenty of days where I can only eat about half of what is on my plate (salad plate) and then there are days it seems I can consume large quantities of food. Very strange. It does not seem to be consistent. I feel ashamed to tell my Dr. what I ate yesterday b/c I know he will give me a lecture.
Yesterday after work I went straight to the gym and did an 1 1/2 hour work out. That made me feel better. Anyways, thanks for the all the advice and continued support....
Amanda
Starting/Current/Goal 343/305/175
Mandy
I am sorry you are struggling. One reason I did not get the lap band is because I knew I would cheat and eat like a horse if I did not have a fill. I am a horrible cheater when it comes to dieting and foods and I have NO CONTROL when sweets are around me. It sounds like you need a fill and PLEASE get back to drinking those protein shakes! I have one every single morning and Im 13 months out. Dont let your family police your foods, you know exactly what you need to do and that should be good enough for them. Best of luck to you!!!
Darcie
I am sorry you are struggling. One reason I did not get the lap band is because I knew I would cheat and eat like a horse if I did not have a fill. I am a horrible cheater when it comes to dieting and foods and I have NO CONTROL when sweets are around me. It sounds like you need a fill and PLEASE get back to drinking those protein shakes! I have one every single morning and Im 13 months out. Dont let your family police your foods, you know exactly what you need to do and that should be good enough for them. Best of luck to you!!!
Darcie
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