For the first time in a while I can say...

I'm really, really scared.  I'm at goal.  I truthfully NEVER thought I'd get here, but I am.  I remember hitting 230, and thinking "OK, well if I stop here, I'll be ok", then 220, 210, and then I stopped cold at 202.  I thought that was it.  I thought "Well, 2 pounds from goal is ok, I'm alot better than I was".  Seeing 199 on the scale just the other day threw me into a new "zone" that I've never been before.  Since I never imagined being "at goal", I never gave much thought into maintaining "goal".  Strange, I know, but my mind does strange things sometimes.  LOL

What really has me scared is the fact that I am struggling, really struggling.  I can seem to eat MUCH more than I need to be eating.  Add that to the fact that the holidays are and have been upon us and the food/sweets (always my downfall) have been plentiful.  I have eaten more than my fair share of inappropriate food thus far and there is no end in sight.  As I sit here tonight (at my office) there are two containers of peanut butter fudge, a dozen donuts, a variety of fried/seasoned peanuts, cookies, and some sort of "cheese" item. It's gonna be a long night.   I am SO AFRAID that I will start to regain.  I can't imagine going through all of this an putting the weight back on. I've managed to stay away from all of it tonight, thus far.  Keep me in your thoughts!  LOL

I got on the scale this morning and it read 203.  Yeah, 203.  Now my mind tells me that a 4 pound weight gain is not possible in such a short period of time and that it's tempoary, water, sodium, etc weight.  But, just seeing the scale go back beyond 200 almost floored me.  But (and this is what's really scary) it's not enough to stop me from craving and sometimes eating the BAD stuff.  I wish so badly that the sugary/sweet stuff made me sick, but it doesn't.  I can't "bulk eat" like I used to, but I certainly can eat stuff I shouldn't.  It's gonna take a while to get the hang of this "maintenence" stuff. 

Thanks for listening.

Jason

 

Jason,
  You have come a long way and I can tell that you are serious about this. You can do this! It's not like I know, but I have lost lots of weight in my time and gained it back.. I think the key is keeping track.. when you see the scales go up 5 lbs.. then do something about it! I know in my past the weight crept up without me even knowing!

  Try not to worry, stay positive and it will continue to work for you! Some of us newby's are counting on ya!

 

Jason,
Your story sounds like it came straight from my mind!!!!  I too can eat the sweets although if I overdo it, they will make me sick.  But just knowing that I can eat some of them is enough to scare the crap out of me!!  And yet I still have days where I will eat them.  I guess it's something that we will have to deal with for the rest of our lives.

I cannot seem to get these last nine pounds to budge!  I am hovering between 168 and 172.  Up and down, up and down!!  It's so frustrating.  And even though I know that losing 137 lbs is great and if I don't ever lose another pound I've done wonderful, I still want to make my goal.  I also know that only I can accomplish that by striving to make the right choices with my food and exercise.  It's so much harder at 17 months out to get any weight to come off but I can't blame it on anything other than my poor choices.  And with it being the holidays, food is EVERYWHERE!!!!!!!!!!  Stay strong, my friend.  We have come so far and we will succeed  ~~  one day at a time!!!!

Good luck and God bless!!

Donna

Jason
First congratulations on getting to your goal weight You and I are one in the same when it comes to craving sweets....I love and ~still~ crave them! I wish they would make me sick as a dog! The only good thing is I cannot pig out on them like I use to do. I get sick off things like bread, pasta and veggies..... yep weird!!! as far as your four lb gain goes that sounds like a *water* shift to me. Hang in there, Im going through the same thing!!

Darcie

Hi Jason,

Congratulations on the enormous shifts you have made in your weight, lifestyle and choices. Congratulations on being aware of a 4 lb gain and of choices that could unravel the strides you have made.

That's huge, but I know all to well that all of that success doesn't make you feel better when you see and feel the old habits, creeping in. It's scary to see them rearing their ugly heads. We has a support group meeting today and I shared the fact that while I wanted to regain some of the weight I had lost, I feel somewhat conflicted about it. Conflicted for a couple of reasons: first because gaining weight at all is terrifying even if I do feel better and feel like I look better. secondly because every other time I've ever gained weight, I haven't been able to control it ... to keep the weight in check, third and probably most signficant, is they way that I gained the weight. I gained it by giving in to stress eating one of my favorite sweets... Goetz Caramel Cream Bullseyes... Obviously, I don't dump and unfortunately can eat a whole bag without getting sick... They must qualify as slider foods because I can literally eat one right after another... As you said, "Bulk Eating".  I've been really stressed lately and have been COMFORT EATING with a vengence... Talking about terrifying! So.... I'm glad I regained some weight, but not happy about how I did it and the longer term implications that the weight gain might have... re: my ability to manage stressful situations without resorting to foods that will undo me.

I guess the reason I'm sharing my undoing with you, is that I want you to know that it happens to all of us to some extent. How we manage the cravings... or in my case don't manage them, is really the issue. I'm working on getting mine back in check... I think that this requires continual work and retraining to make maintenance a success in the long term. I know that I've 'fallen of the wagon.' I've gotten back on and will probably have to do so again... I know that I've made mistakes and I'm sure that I'll make more in the furture, but I think the big difference for us now is awareness and self-accountability. If we can tap into those two things, I think we might make it in the long term.

Wishing  you all the best and continued success,

I threw out my scale today. I am religiously and truthfully logging my food intake. Anything i gain will be muscle since I am an exercise fiend now, so I will go by how my clothes fit.

Log your food, and be honest. It keeps you on the right track. I also learned that even when I have a "bad" food day I end up well within my limits, totally by habit. Knowing I've learned how to eat properly and that it is ingrained now helps me trust myself a little more.

You can handle it :)

Jason,  You know I'm really, really proud of you!  Please don't be scared.  I have every ounce of faith in you that you will maintain your goal.  As much as a 5-pound fluctuation is not a reflection of whether or not you are maintaining your goal.

My advice is to get through the holidays doing your very best at keeping those cravings in check, even if it means a nibble here, a nibble there because they are so readily accessible this time of year.  When the holidays are over, follow the rules to a T for awhile, being sure to carb/sugar purge even though it's tough!  I can almost guarantee you that you will get right back to where you want to be on the scale within a very short period of time, along with those cravings better in check.

You will not go through everything you have gone through to regain the weight, Jason.  You are stronger than that!  You have such a beautiful family that you want to live a long, beautiful life with.  You will do it for them and you will do it for you.  Again, I have the utmost of faith in you!

{{{Big Hugs!!!}}}  Love ya like a bro!