Getting ready to tell parents

I am going to be leaving out on Thursday to drive to the Chicago area and spend the weekend with my Dad and stepMom so I can come home with some Christmas decorations they want to get rid of and the boys and I can have an early Christmas visit with them.  I haven't figured out how I am going about this, but I am going to finally tell them about the upcoming surgery during the trip.  Send me some good vibes this weekend, and for all who pray, pray for me to stay safe as we drive through at a time that is going to be some days of snow.  DH will be working, so this trip is all on me and the drive home will be especially long since I won't be breaking it up with a night in a hotel like I will the trip up there.

The following weekend I am driving to TN. (northeast part so only about a 5 hour drive) and I am going to tell my mother about the surgery then.  Not sure how I feel about telling her, but I already told my Brother who lives next door so I need to tell her before he lets it slip anyhow.

Anyone have any advice for me on getting up the nerve to finally tell them all?

Good luck! You will be in my thoughts and prayers. As for advice, just make sure you got all the information and facts that they will want to know. I know whenever I told someone about it, they asked many questions, so , just make sure you know everything! :-)

Sneezy,
  Over a year ago I decided this was for me, I told my mom and she told me that if I did it that she would disown me. I eventually backed out. I hadn't done any work up so I just walked away. October of this year I finally said enough is enough and started the process again w/o telling her this time. I was through my workup and I finally told her. I told her that I know her feelings but this is something that I feel I have to do for myself. That I would like her support but if that wasn't possible that I did not need the negativity. That said it took her about a month and now she calls me to tell me about this person or that person who has had it done and how good they look and that none of them regret it. I told her just yesterday that I haven't heard of anyone *****grets having had it. She called me last night to make arrangements for our Christmas dinner since I will only be out of the hospital a day when we go over there. She has come around. I am not saying your parents will be happy but hopefully they will support your decision and then 6 months from now you can say ha look how good I am doing!!!!!!!
I am wishing you a safe journey. Good Luck
Kelly

I can't keep anything from anyone so I will wish you the best in telling your parents!  I know there are some people that know they can't handle the negativity from family before surgery so they choose to tell them after the fact.  Hopefully you will encounter lots of support.  My only advice would be to be sure your demeanor is confident and happy when you tell them and be ready to share good information about WLS if they want/need to hear about it.  My favorite is the statistics on weight-loss success/failure rates with/without WLS!  Good luck!

Sneezy,
I found that before wls some people were with me all the way and some like my mom was not sure and very scared for me.
I think some of the fear people have is mainly because they do not know everything to know about wls vs the comorbiditys of obesity.
On the other hand you have made this choice for you and be very proud of yourself in knowing you are willing to do this to improve your health.
Stay safe and wishing you a safe journey.
                                                        Annie

I'd let them know that you have talked with your Dr about your health issues and your weight. That they consider this the best, safest longterm option for you and you are following your Dr's advice. Be prepared to answer plenty of questions and be open to having them ask questions, but make it clear that this is not something where you are asking permission, but you wanted to let them know that you are undertaking this to improve your health and quality of life. That statistically you are most likely to live a longer, healthier life with the surgery than without. That 80 per cent succeed in the 10 year study and that you know how and why 20% fail so that you won't become part of that statistic.

Enjoy you trips and your time with your loved ones.

Saprina,

I just told my folks over Thanksgiving, and it went much smoother than I imagined. I was VERY FRANK with them. I told my daddy how much I weighed, LOL. He looked at me and said, "Well baby, that is just too much isn't it?" Love my daddy.

I also ordered a free DVD from www.bariatricedge.com  (it is the same video Bragg showed us at orientation) and I showed that to them. It answered al LOT of questions for them.

Also Barb gave me GREAT advice about inviting my family to a support group meeting. I realize your family is too far away, but I think the key is to offer to educate them as much as possible.

Good luck, and don't worry. They love you and want whats best. It is YOUR duty to remove the fear.

Thats what brought my mom around ( my brother had the surgery 10 years ago and gained most back through poor eating habits so she was against it at first) was going with me to the Dr. and speaking with some of the others in the waiting room that were there for followups and some of the staff that had had it. One girl was to tiny, my mom couldn't belief she ever had a weight problem till she showed her a before pic. Now my mom's very supportive. I'm having mine in Jan at Portsmouth Naval Hospital in Portsmouth  Va, but I live in NC.

Good luck, drive safe and we'll keep our fingers crossed for ya!

Barb

Hey girl... 

I'm wishin you the best of luck and you'll be in my thoughts and prayers!  I was worried about what my family and friends would say, but I worried for nothing.  All of my family and most of my friends were very excited for me and those who questioned it came around pretty quickly afterwards.  I only had one person who kinda gave me a hard time, but when I told them I was doing this for my health and that if I didn't loose the weight some how I probably wouldn't be alive more than 2 years, he was still skeptical but was supportive.  About a year ago he finally told me that he was proud of me and that I was right in having this surgery.  But then again I had my WLS 6 years ago and technology has gotten so much more advanced since then. 

Anyway, I hope you have a great trip and everything goes well for you!!!!

Thank you all for the advice and the many well wishes.  I expect the IL portion of the trip will be ok because they have normally supported our decisions, just hate to tell them when I have never found out how they feel about bariatric surgery and knowing they have very strong feelings on every subject LOL.  The good thing is that I waited until now when I am almost to the finishing line to even tell family so that I don't have to even begin to worry about how they will react having anything to do with me having it done. 
Well, I best get finished packing since I plan to leave early in the morning and am hoping to drive straight through for the 15 hour drive UGH.