Depressed/Mad

I've been so depressed feeling for the last couple of weeks and being sick on top of that isn't helping and I seem to just want to cry all the time. I'm 48 days out today and down 39 lbs and am thankful for that but I wasn't counting on feeling so blah. If you read my previous message from a couple days ago you know that the monthly friend has came to visit and I haven't seen her in almost 4 yrs and in shock about that because I've had test showing I'm in menopause. So now I'm wondering is this a one time thing or is it going to be here monthly again and I'm praying its doesn't rear its ugly head anymore. I was taken off Lexapro a couple weeks ago after being on it for 9 months and that probably has something to do with this mental state I'm in as well but glad I'm off it because I hate thinking I have to depend on those meds. Also with having a stricture about 4 weeks ago and got it stretched and then about 5 days later I got the same old pain and vomiting again and now being told after the endoscopy Friday that the doctor didn't see anything wrong makes me mad because I know I'm not making up this illness, I still can't eat pass the full liquid stage and if I try then I'm sick for two or three hours and every last little bite has to come back up before I get any relief. I talked to my one of my Son's today and he was like I'm going to give you some tough love because I was crying and he said you knew you wasn't going to be able to eat like you used to and I'm thinking yeah I knew that but I didn't know at almost two months out I was going to be throwing up and have these awful pains to deal with and he also said quit going by what other people say about what they can eat like I don't know everybody is different. Yeah I'm in a *****y mood and just wanted to get this out in the open where there are other people that might can relate to how I feel.Also I haven't worked out in almost two weeks and I just feel like I don't have any energy and I've been sleeping to sometimes noon and then I feel like my whole day is wasted. Thanks for letting me vent.

 

Give me a call tomorrow Cindy.  We should get together some time this week, either your house or mine.  I think you need a real life hug.

Catt

Thanks Catt.

Cindy,

I hate that you are having such a rough time.  I don't know how to help you, but to say that you will be in my thoughts and prayers.  I really hope things turn around for you soon.  I am sending you a big hug.

Take care of yourself,

Thanks Vera,  I don't think anybody can help me but God and time.

Cindy,  God knows why you are being led down this path. He knows right now what is going to happen tomorrow because he is already there.  There may be someone that you and only you will be able to reach and say "I know, I've been there".  Just remember and this too shall pass.  God has you in the palm of his hand and will guide you as long as you let him.  God bless you.

Your right Vera and thanks for the friendship :).

hey girl, hang in there.  As to the monthly visitor, I went thru the same thing.  (it only came once for me).  If I'm not mistaken, it has to do with the excessive amount of hormones released as the fat melts off. 
That also can cause some killer emotional swings.  So some of what you may be feeling is hormonal and not just you having a pity party.  Knowing that doesn't make it go away, but maybe helps a  little.  I found that calcium helps with the hormone swings.  So if you can you drink more dairy that may help? 
Finally, I think that the anesthesia can stay in your fat cells for a while and make you tired at the oddest of times.  My sis-in-laws father (a doctor) told her years ago that she shouldn't be surprised if she still had random bouts of tired at six months post op.  And she was slender!  So let yourself be tired, sleep as you chose, and take as good a care of yourself as you would a loved one who is recovering. 

Thanks Robin this sounds encouraging to me and I hope the period is only this time and doesn't last forever. Anyway milk has been making me sick when I drink it but I'll try other things. I decided I'm going to the gym today and be among other people for a couple of hours, being by myself for 3 days is all I can take lol.

Cindy,  Robin said in her post exactly the things that I was thinking while reading yours.  Sounds like you have an excessive store of hormones that are being released and playing havoc on your body and your emotions!  (I'm also emotionally sensitive to anesthesia...my family is prepared!)

To go off of your medication now may be really bad timing since you are already feeling depressed and anxious.  There's nothing wrong with depending on a medication for a medical condition!  Don't forget that if you feel like you need it again and don't wait too long. 

In preparing myself for what's ahead, I've made mental note after mental note of people that are unable to *eat* untl 60-90 days out.  With the full liquids and supplements, you should be getting 100% of your nutritional needs met.  Have you met with a counselor?  Our surgical weight-loss center provides one for us to talk with, does yours?  I would really encourage you to do that. 

With all of my pregnancies, I had all-day "morning sickness" for 4 months.  I couldn't see food, smell food, eat food!  No grocery shopping, no TV commercials, no cooking smells in the house.  I got dehydrated because I couldn't even keep water down most of the time!  I've thought many times recently, "Oh my gosh, I may be electively putting myself through that again in order to have the RNY."  I remember the pregnancy sickness well and, even after this week of the hypoglycemic episodes which have me almost unable to function, I'm still going to go through with the surgery because I know just like the morning sickness, should I have several months of, let's call it "RNY sickness", this too shall pass. 

I know that doesn't make it easy while you are in the throws of it, Cindy, but you've got to hold on to that hope and realization.  Don't push anything other than full liquids too frequently because you won't be giving yourself time enough to heal between the times you irritate your body.  When you do try, make it something that barely falls into the next category and stick with those texture/weight things until you have them mastered, then gradually move on.  In the meantime, be gentle with yourself and be patient...readjust your expectations and work on your relationship with food.  I'd really encourage you to find a counselor.