I've really been struggling lately

First off I want to thank you for your accountability after all you are the one who has taught me this wonderful lesson.
You are aware of your mistake and that says alot about you.
You are human and as a human we will make mistakes.
I feel bad that you have been feeling depressed but that is also a emotion many of us struggle with.
I hope you know I love you very much and your friendship and guidance has helped me and others.
Get back on that horse and ride like you know how to do.
BTW I bought two bags of candy today for Halloween and yes I thought about how they tasted to me many months ago.
I put them over on Lee's desk and got busy cooking dinner and doing laundry and that overwhelming complulsive thought is gone.                      Annie

Hi Annie,

Thank you for your friendship and support.

I'm glad to hear that you were able to set the candy aside and move on to other things. Keep at it my friend.

Thanks again,

Barb

I am praying peace for you and all that are struggling.
Debbi

Thanks Debbi

My husband taught me something which I'll try to explain.

The American/Christian/modern way of thinking is to look at our life as a LINE.  We want it to be a straight line, out in front of us, leading to PERFECTION.  Yes, let's face it--we want our lives to be mistake-free.   If we make a mistake, we consider that we have gotten off that line and are going in the wrong direction, and we have to get back on the line.

Instead of thinking like that, here is a different way to think.  We are in a big circle.  Whirling around us, like a merry go round,  is all of life---ours, and those we have relationships with.  If we stay within the very center of the circle, our lives are balanced and we turn slowly and are out of reach of a lot of the stuff that goes on whirling around us.  If we step out of the center, things go out of whack, we are whirling offcenter and we are going faster and faster and getting hit by stuff out in the circle, unable to keep our balance. 

So what we have to try to do is stay centered in the circle of our lives, turning slowly, letting events pass by us and keeping a balance that we can deal with.

I suffer from depression too, and have taken medication for it for 25 years.  We can't help but get off center sometimes, but it doesn't mean we are any more (or  less) "good or bad".  We are just offcenter--uncomfortable, bruised, and needing to be in the center.

Hoping you can find the center,

Nancy S.

Thank you Nancy.

Barb

Oh Barb, I just love ya.......... (((((((((((((((HUGS))))))))))))))))

I know it's not about the toast but about the loss of control. It is very scary, it feels like someone else took over and we do not have control and may not get that control back. We never and I know I neverrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr want to go back there. I feel like my coping skills when it comes to comforting myself during times like that are weak. It scares me I will end up back to where I was. We can only take one day at a time and if we fall pick ourselves back up and do the very best we can to do better. I am extremely hard on myself as well so I understand where you are coming from.

Flames need not come in here, we are all here for support and I think the N.C. board is a great board for that. We are all supportive of you and all of us.

Life is hard, feels harder the older I get and I need to learn how to deal without putting food in my mouth. I am learning and will make mistakes as we all do.

You will be ok, you have a great head on your shoulders and have done wonderful. Pick yourself back up and give yourself a pat on the back.

Thanks!!! You nailed it!

Barbara - all my thoughts and prayers are with you. You have been such an inspiration to me and have helped me SO much with some of my own depression and thoughts of worthlessness. I can't tell you what you mean to me. I was really struggling the time we talked when we were shopping, feeling still really fat and just terribly down, and you bucked me up at a really difficult time and it meant so much to me. I know what you mean about not posting. I didn't come to the last group because I was so down too. I think one of the hard things with this surgery is that it really doesn't address some of the coping mechanisms and how we have to change those. We are none of us perfect. When life comes and hits us in the head, we still want to turn to that old friend - food. When we do, given what we've been through and where we've gotten, I think we feel even more like failures than when we were obese. Like a monster inside us is going to make us get fat again. I've been kind of struggling too because of having to sell my home with three kids in college and it's been really hard sorting through 20 years of memories to downsize. The skin issues are much harder than I ever dreamed they would be. I just wanted you to know I'm here for you. If you want to get together sometime for dinner, I'll pop up to Raleigh - just send me a note! All my prayers!
Kit

((((Kit)))),

I soooo appreciate your warmth, concern, kindness, and friendship. More than I am able to articulate. I have to tell you that I think one of the best things about this journey has been the unexpected and very real friendships that I have had the honor and pleasure to develop through this board and the monthly support group meetings.

I want you to know how very much you were missed last weekend. I really do understand pulling into yourself during a bout of depression. It's one of the things that is a serious signal to me that I'm headed for deep, turbulen****ers ... so take care my friend and let ME know if there is anything I can do for YOU too. As you well know, we seem to do better when we reach out beyond ourselves and help others. So, thank you for your offer of friendship and support. Maybe we can get together soon.

I think that you are so very right when you talk about the enormous, surprising load that comes with reconciling the excess skin issues. I know that everyone is affected and effected by this issue in their own way and as such, deal with it differently. That said, as I mentioned in an unrelated post earlier today, I think I had a fairly good self-image before surgery. I think that is why to some extent I'm really struggling with my poor self-image now. It's actually one of the things that I'd like to address as we get together a WLS Grads subgroup through the meetup group I have going.

Hang in there my friend and do let me know if you want to get together. I truly enjoy your company.

Barb