I've really been struggling lately

I think the fear is healthy as long as it doesnt get out of control... its fine to be scared of spiders - but if you get so scared you cant leave the house then thats a different story. I know personally being scared (or worried) of regaining weight has pushed me to learn as much about this surgery, about nutrition, about exercise and about myself as possible... I wouldnt ever want that fear to go away but I will say over time it has gotten smaller - as more time passes I improve more and learn more and it makes things easier.

Jenn,

I think you are soooo right. A little fear can be healthy ... terror is not. I'm working on re-adjusting.

Thanks again,

Barb

Barb,

You have been a wonderful source of motivation for me and when I feel weak I jump on the computer and start reading!!! Everything I run across someone has been through it and tells me THIS TO SHALL PASS.  Depression is hard on everyone but some have it worse than others does this make you bad? NO it just makes you human. So just get up dust yourself off vow to do better next time and jump back in with both feet and a new determination.You are a wonderful person with lots to offer !!!!!!  Thanks again for all the inspiration you have sent my way.

Leslie

Leslie,

Thank you for your support and kindness.

Barb

Barb,  So many of your comments and Catt's comments in her post could have been my own words:  "You may notice that at times, I don't post as much. When I'm struggling, I tend to answer posts more and my answers may be very short ... sometimes people mistake this for my being upset with them, but it's that I'm struggling to think and function."  "As for most folks these days, life is stressful and when you add stress to depression, it makes a nasty combination."  "I do too (suffer from clinical depression), as I think many of us do leading us to be in the situation that brought us here in the first place."  "I am FULL of self doubt and fear that I will become a stronger contributing member of these boards and then fail miserably as I have failed in nearly everything I have attempted to do in my whole life."

Hearing these words from you both does help me and I'm sure many others in exactly the way you were hoping they would...in knowing that we are not alone and that together, we can conquer and learn! 

I'm so sorry you are undergoing such stress.  I won't go into details about myself right now but I was in the same type of meltdown mode last night and again earlier today.  Life is tough at times and it just got a lot tougher for most of us with the economic scare going on!  Just please, please, don't continue to beat yourself up over your moment of weakness.  Love yourself, Barb!  You deserve the same loving kindness and forgiveness that you always extend to others!  :)  You've recognized what happened and you can't change it now so the best thing you can do is to move past it and learn from it.  We aren't perfect people and we are bound to have slip-ups from time-to-time...I would think it's how we handle it when it does happen that will make the biggest impact.  Hope your feet are soon planted on that firm ground!  Love you to pieces, pretty lady!  {{{{{{HUGS!!!}}}}

Hi Shauna,

Thank you so very much for your loving and supportive note. You are right. It's important to know that we are not in this alone and that we can come for much needed support.

Thank you for both.

Barb

You brought up some issues that I think we all struggle with - yes stress & depression bring them on but I think the weather and the seasons also do it. I find myself wanting comfort feeods on a regular basis these days. And I'll admit the skinnier versions just don't do it for me. My weight loss has slowed down the past 2 weeks but my carb consumption has slowly creeped up. And with those two things my depression has once again reared its ugly head.

I refuse to come this far only to sabotage my efforts because of this little voice in my head saying "Feed me good stuff". Today I got back on the band wagon and I have fed myself good for me stuff. I had a protein shake for breakfast and I'm having chili for lunch. Dinner will be a high protein lowcarb choice as well.

I bougt the Beck diet book and workbook and I have to say it's not as easy as I thought it would be. Honesty never is. Your post is exactly what I needed to read today. It was honest - not easy. Let's commit to making healthy choices today.

Thank you for sharing.
- Iris

Hi Iris,

Thanks for your response. You are right. The change in season can effect and affect our moods and I'm sure it's playing some part, but there are bigger issues/stresses that are impacting my mental health ... such that it is. I think that I had a 'sense' that I was managing better than I am and it threw me for a loop to realize just how tenuous this new me is. I realize that I spent over 40 years becoming the person that I was and learning to use the coping mechanisms that I had been using. I thought that I was doing a better job of coping than I am. This is not to say that I think I'm am abject failure by any stretch of the imagination, but I do think that I still have a very long road to travel.

I'm glad that you're trying the "Beck Diet Solution." I have to say that you are very right. It's not a quick fix or easy, but then they say that things of value never are easy. I hope that you find it as helpful I have and continue to find it to be.

I also wanted to tell you that I really transitioned to bean based meals when the season cooled last year and I'll do the same this year. There are number of wonderful ways to do soups, cassoulets, and chili's that can effectively satisfy the urge for warm comfort food while supporting our efforts to get and stay healthy.

Thanks again,

Barb

There is a crockpot full of beans cooking at home right now. In fact my oldest son just called and wanted to know if I thought they were ready yet or not - snce tey smelled and looked good. I come from a long line of Irishmen and farmers so can you say potatoes? Plus fishermen and southerners - so can you say Rice?

It does take a while to unlearn and relearn the process of making healthy choices. I guess I'll be like the little engine that could "I think I can...I think I can...I think I can..."

- Iris

I hope you still have some of those savory beans left when you get home!

And regarding makng those healthy choices ... you keep doing it; day in and day out ... so change what the engine that could says to "I know I can, I know I can, I know I can... " Becaue you do over and over again.

Keep it up, my friend!

Barb