E-mail a little upsetting to me.

Thank you Sheryl:).

Hi Cindy,

I won't belabor the point, because as you can see and have acknowledged to your friend, you have a true friend in Yvonne. It must have been harder for her to write and send that note than it was for you to read it and you know how very hard that was.

I think that I may have shared with you before that I suffer from extremely severe, dibilitating clinical depression. It's so bad sometimes, that I can hardly get out of bed. That said, there are tasks or exercises I do to help me deal with and combat the depression:

1. I make a list of 5 things for which I am grateful ... sometimes I have to repeat the list from day to day, but I start and end the day with my grateful list. Sometimes it is related to my weight loss journey, sometimes not at all, but it truly helps me see the glass as being at least half full.

2. Go for a walk. Go outside and feel the warmth of the sun and God's love envelope you. Take ten slow deep breaths in and out. Hear your heart beating. Revel in the wonder of being.

3. Go spend time with other people. We are social by nature and it's important not to isolate yourself. Even if what you are doing is going to Goodwill to drop off some things you've cleaned out of  your closet and peruse the racks for something new, or going to the garden center to pick out a new plant. Do something where you will see and interact with others.

4. Do something for someone else.  I found that it is very true that when we give to others, we give to ourselves. Call your church and see if they need any help in the office, have seniors that could use a visitor, etc... Contact the local United Way or American Lung or Heart Associations ... anything where you can do something for someone else. They will feel better and so will you.

5. Do something for yourself. It's easy to get lost in what you can't do and can't have, but there are things that you can do; make a list of things that do not envolve food that you can do for yourself that you will enjoy. If you like crafts, go get some supplies and start a project. Get a pedicure and/or manicure. Have a facial. You are going through a period of loss and mourning and you can't soothe yourself in ways that are familiar which leaves you frustrated and angry, but you can and will find other ways to soothe and calm yourself.

I'm so very glad for you that you have such an incredibly strong and loving friend who was willing to put her friendship on the line to tell you something that you needed to hear. I'm also glad that you recognized the love with which the difficult medicine was delivered.

Wishing you all the best as you continue this journey.

Barb

 

Thanks Barb, for the tips I'm going to copy and post this on my blog. I did just go for a 15 minute walk and I was so out of breath but I done it. I do have the new Nichloas Sparks book and I think I'm going to read it. Thanks for all the love and support you always show me.

Hey Cindy:

Ditto on what everyone else said.   I am a lot like your friend and tell things like i see them to my good friends.  I never want to hurt anyone but just love them enough to say what I see.   Most of the times they thank me for being so honest with them.   I am glad that you have such a wonderful friend as it takes courage to put yourself out there.

You will see this even more in a month or two.

Take care,

Pam

Hey Cindy,
     
     I do believe with all my heart that my friends and family have always loved me and wanted the best for me. But sometimes even now I still say to myself "I wonder why no one has ever talked to me about what I was doing and how I was killing myself. Maybe they don't care as much as I thought."
     Reading your post and your reaction to what your truley amazing friend had to say to you, I totally understand why they didn't. I would probably have had the same reaction you did. "How dare them!" Right? Like we don't know what we've done to ourselves and we've paid the price every day. They couldn't possibly understand the mental and physical strain we live with.
    Yvonne wants the best for you...obviously. To say what she said knowing it may burn a bit but feeling like it had to be said. She trusts your friendship and is comfortable enough with you to know you'll still love her.
     A little while from now you will see it more clearly. When you do, thank her for loving you enough to say what you needed to hear even though you may not have wanted to. I wish my friends would have.
     You really will be amazed in a very short time how this surgery not only changes our bodies but the way we look at ourselves internally as well. You'll see.

Take care, friend.

Mare

Thanks Mare and I know Yvonne was right in what she said and I've already thanked her for the support.