E-mail a little upsetting to me.

Thanks Lisa for the pep talk :). I know it will get better and I know what she said is true. I am grateful for friends weather they are in person or online.

She is a friend who truely cares.  Life is a choice.  Food did control us and the issues that made it a source of comfort.  Every day is a challenge and no one promised the first one of us a fair deal not even our creator.  He only promised if you only believed in him with all your heart and did your best to walk in his way, a place in heaven.  His time here on earth during his walk wasn't easy either.  Men and issues made it a challenge.  Every day is a challenge but how we accept the daily challenges and the attitude of how we are going to handle it is up to us.  We can choose to be misrable over things we can't control or try to fix or we can except it and turn it over to the Lord and accept the outcome.  That doesn't mean we will like it, it just means we need to learn to except it and realize things could be much worse.  We can't beat ourself up over it cause it will anguish none but you, and this can work on you mentally and physcially.  Our surgery is not perfect and has some issues for some of us, like I now have low blood sugar, but realize it is a trade off in most cases for serious health issues if I hadn't done it.  I have done my best to always look at the glass as "half full" rather than empty or try to understand that a rude angry person is not naturally this way but has something in their life that needs prayer and comfort.  I learned this from a few things but I had the opportunity to work with a highly overactive/hyper active colleague years back who embarked on her own magazine, the magazine did fail after a time but she was sooo positive over everything that I gained a new perspect.  This is what I try to do and it has made a difference in my attitude....surround yourself with positive people,  always try to compliment someone espically if they are having a bad day and try your best to remember things can be worse and no one promised a perfect or close to perfect life.  When something bad happens acknowledge it but also say but thank god it wasn't....worse.  Its hard and takes alot of practice.  No one can walk in your shoes or feel your pain and I don't think she was trying to trivialize your issues.  She is just trying to help you through it the way she has learned how.  Just my Opinion.

Thanks for your advice. From all the responses I guess I'm in the wrong here. Life will get better I'm sure. After my Mom passed away 4 yrs ago I told myself then if I could get pass losing her I could deal with anything and I still believe that. Since then my Daddy passed away in 2006 and my only half sister want talk to me and I'm not allowed to see my Step-dad and he's really sick. So I am grateful for the friends in my life, regardless if I don't like what they say at times.

Cindy when you feel like crap I know its so easy to give up and dwell on what hurts .  BUT I am a living example of what it means to fight through the problem.  As my wise husband told me this too shall pass !!!!! Trust me I could have killed him at the time and I thought yeah it will pass for you cause you ain't hurting .  Well it did pass and because of his encouragement I am even better off than the doctors ever thought I would be.  Run and give your friend a hug and thank her for her support even if you really didn't think you wanted to hear it .  She is a true and loving friend

Leslie

Well Leslie I can't give her a hug since she's in Florida but I did send her a thank you e-mail for her support.
Btw I grew up in Statesville and lived in Granite Falls for about 6 months in 2002.

Ms. Cindy,

You have yourself a gem of a friend there! My take on it is that you feel like she is disregarding the emotional and painful stage you are in now- I can see where you would maybe take it in a negative way, especially since you are feeling the way you are feeling. But no, I wouldn't be mad at her- She is excited for you and supportive of your decisions and I think ALL she wants is for you to re-focus on the GOOD (which is hard when you feel rotten) and to see you be as excited about all the great things that are about to happen as she is!

Plus I think before surgery, we get to a point where not much works right or feels good, and we get in a routine where we are having to constantly discuss our medical issues with various doctors- and before long that is ALL we hear from our inside voice! (I'm sick, I hurt, Overweight, etc, etc) We become accustom to voicing our ailments. (this is the point I am at right now)

We almost have to re- train ourselves to "think healthy"~ Your body IS going to heal, and you WILL feel better! Before long your outlook and attitude will reflect that as well!

I would just tell Yvonne- that you love her and you thank her for always wanting the best for you- and leave it at that.
You always have us!!!!!!

Thanks Kim. I do see that I'm in the wrong here with feeling mad and I have wrote her an e-mail and thanked her for her support.

Hi Cindy, what you have been going through is completely normal and it will pass.  You should be approaching the period where you will start to feel much better, physically and emotionally.  As you see the weight dropping off, you will feel so great to see the results.  Believe me, it's worth the journey! 

As for the email from your friend; the Good Lord has blessed you with a true friend who is genuinely concerned about your wellbeing.  Although reading the email may have been a little tough at the time, save it and go back and read it again in a month and see if it still is upsetting.  I bet it won't be! 

God bless you in your new journey!  Take care and enjoy the ride!  Alice

Thank you Alice.

Cindy,

Wow... what a great friend you have!  It is very hard to tell someone you love what needs to be said.  Letting go of the control (I have this problem too sometimes) and letting God have control is a hard thing.  I have found though that with my RNY I have had more control in a weird way.  I have control of what I eat and how much I eat - if I eat too much I am in terrible terrible pain and it really hurts...  so I can control that.. lol!  Maybe you need to try and change the way you look at control...  I dunno, I'm just going by what I had to do for me.  I have had to have this conversation with a friend also, she is a negative and very controlling person, but because I love her and I want her to be happy I had to talk with her about it.  That was one of the hardest things I've ever had to do.   I am a positive person and try to see the light in everything, but I do get stuck sometimes and have to take a step back and try again.  Try to take your friends advise for what it is and maybe take a step back and look at what she's telling you from a different angle.  She tells you this in a loving way and just wants you to live a healthy and happy life!  I hope you will read that e-mail again in a couple days and maybe you'll be able to grasp it in a totally different light.  I live "one day at a time" now and try to focus on the positive.  I find it helps me a lot. 

Anyway, sorry for rambling... I wish you the best!  You have a great friend in Yvonne, she's just concerned.