E-mail a little upsetting to me.
This is from the friend who just spend two weeks with me, and I have mixed feelings about what she says part of me wants to be mad and the other part knows that what she is saying is probably right, but when you aren't the one who's had these issues its easy to dish out advice. Am I wrong to be a little ticked off?
You may not want to hear what I have to say but here goes anyway. Cindy, you are someone who likes to be in control at all times. Right now you are not in control of what or how much you eat or drink......However, if you can only picture the benefit you will derive from this surgery in health and appearance and FOCUS on that, I think you will be much happier. It is not going to happen overnight. It will take a little time. But just think, you are adding years to your life. Cindy, because I love you I am telling you that you need to take the focus off yourself and your "problems" and look at the positive and brighter side of this whole thing. "LET GO AND LET GOD!" This is something I had to learn and I am passing it on to you. Mentally let go of your illnesses, your problems, your sadness and start living a life that the Lord meant for you to live. Life is a choice Cindy. We can eith er choose to win or choose to lose. You made a fantastic and brave choice when you had the surgery. Now, you need to follow through with a smile and the anticipation and expectation that you will be the "Cindy" you want to be and were meant to be. STOP FOCUSING ON WHAT YOU DON'T LIKE OR DON'T HAVE OR CAN OR CANNOT DO! FOCUS ON LIVING YOUR LIFE "ONE DAY AT A TIME" with a smile and gratitude for everything in your life good and bad.. This is how we grow and appreciate the gift of life that He so graciously gave us. What we do with that life depends on us and is a gift to Him. Love you, Yvonne
You may not want to hear what I have to say but here goes anyway. Cindy, you are someone who likes to be in control at all times. Right now you are not in control of what or how much you eat or drink......However, if you can only picture the benefit you will derive from this surgery in health and appearance and FOCUS on that, I think you will be much happier. It is not going to happen overnight. It will take a little time. But just think, you are adding years to your life. Cindy, because I love you I am telling you that you need to take the focus off yourself and your "problems" and look at the positive and brighter side of this whole thing. "LET GO AND LET GOD!" This is something I had to learn and I am passing it on to you. Mentally let go of your illnesses, your problems, your sadness and start living a life that the Lord meant for you to live. Life is a choice Cindy. We can eith er choose to win or choose to lose. You made a fantastic and brave choice when you had the surgery. Now, you need to follow through with a smile and the anticipation and expectation that you will be the "Cindy" you want to be and were meant to be. STOP FOCUSING ON WHAT YOU DON'T LIKE OR DON'T HAVE OR CAN OR CANNOT DO! FOCUS ON LIVING YOUR LIFE "ONE DAY AT A TIME" with a smile and gratitude for everything in your life good and bad.. This is how we grow and appreciate the gift of life that He so graciously gave us. What we do with that life depends on us and is a gift to Him. Love you, Yvonne
Cindy
292/285/202/160
Highest/Surgery Day/current weight/goal
You have every right to be ticked off, Cindy...but not at Yvonne. 
Be ever thankful you have a friend that can get real with you in such a loving, heartfelt way, even though she knows it may be hard for you to hear it right now. I can tell your friend is sincerely reaching out to try and help you. Now it's up to you to help yourself...and I know you can do it! 
I think it will, Cindy. Battle, battle, battle through this rough spot...you'll make a breakthrough soon.
I was so glad someone posted to you yesterday about the hormone issues because I had totally forgotten about that part of things. When I first read about that here in a post, I even read it aloud to hubby to help make a mental note of it. I am prepared to go through a really tough time the first few weeks or so post-op. If I don't, GREAT, but if I do, I am prepared to know it CAN happen (and probably WILL with me!). I am one of those people who am affected emotionally by anesthesia (heck, NYQUIL! lol). I also have had prior issues with depression and hormone imablance. Then, I know I will probably go through a period of grieving over food since I am a stay-at-home mom who's life revolves around her family...the only "pleasure" in life I have at the moment is...FOOD! (No hobbies or interests of my own...and who has the time or privacy for sex when you have 9 other beings living with you?! lol) And then, last but not least, the dreaded stall, which I hear comes at around the 3 week mark...now that will kick me in the pants. I'm not good with stalls, I wanna see RESULTS, man!
So, when I am going through my tough spot, you will be long over it and will know all the right things to say and do for me, right?! hehe
In the meantime, keep fighting the fight because YOU ARE WORTH IT. You've gotten some awesome suggestions and I am really touched by all the support you are getting...tap into it, sweetie! We are here for ya!
I was so glad someone posted to you yesterday about the hormone issues because I had totally forgotten about that part of things. When I first read about that here in a post, I even read it aloud to hubby to help make a mental note of it. I am prepared to go through a really tough time the first few weeks or so post-op. If I don't, GREAT, but if I do, I am prepared to know it CAN happen (and probably WILL with me!). I am one of those people who am affected emotionally by anesthesia (heck, NYQUIL! lol). I also have had prior issues with depression and hormone imablance. Then, I know I will probably go through a period of grieving over food since I am a stay-at-home mom who's life revolves around her family...the only "pleasure" in life I have at the moment is...FOOD! (No hobbies or interests of my own...and who has the time or privacy for sex when you have 9 other beings living with you?! lol) And then, last but not least, the dreaded stall, which I hear comes at around the 3 week mark...now that will kick me in the pants. I'm not good with stalls, I wanna see RESULTS, man!
So, when I am going through my tough spot, you will be long over it and will know all the right things to say and do for me, right?! hehe
In the meantime, keep fighting the fight because YOU ARE WORTH IT. You've gotten some awesome suggestions and I am really touched by all the support you are getting...tap into it, sweetie! We are here for ya!
Yvonne obviously loves you Cindy. How fortunate for you to have someone who is that honest and loving in your life. Many people live and die without ever knowing love like that. I know how hard it is to be in the middle of pain, how hard it is to be possitive when every slight movement makes you feel like screaming in agony, however Yvonne does have a point, the more you focus on the good things, the less your mind has room to focus on the bad.
It WAS a very brave thing you did, in choosing to have the surgery knowing the risks. You were honest with yourself when you made the choice, be honest with yourself now. You knew then, when you chose to have the surgery, that you very well could have died during it, or immediately afterward. Every day away from the day of the surgery you are that much more healed. You will continue to get healthier every day. Yvonne is lovingly pointing out that your choice was die early due to health problems from obesity, or do what you did and have the surgery, giving yourself the opportunity to get healthy in a way you probably never would have on your own. I think she is asking you to embrace the experience.
You will be someone in the very near future that will be helping people like me come to terms with our own surgery.
(((hug)))
Catt
It WAS a very brave thing you did, in choosing to have the surgery knowing the risks. You were honest with yourself when you made the choice, be honest with yourself now. You knew then, when you chose to have the surgery, that you very well could have died during it, or immediately afterward. Every day away from the day of the surgery you are that much more healed. You will continue to get healthier every day. Yvonne is lovingly pointing out that your choice was die early due to health problems from obesity, or do what you did and have the surgery, giving yourself the opportunity to get healthy in a way you probably never would have on your own. I think she is asking you to embrace the experience.
You will be someone in the very near future that will be helping people like me come to terms with our own surgery.
(((hug)))
Catt
i can totally understand why this would upset you, its something very similar to what i am hearing from my boyfriend at the moment (minus the faith implications) ...
I have been thinking something like... "Yes this surgery is a good thing in the long run but why cant he/she be more supportive to my anxieties and pain right now? the long term benefits will come but its hard to focus on that when things hurt and my every day activities are so complicated and time consuming?"
my advice is just take it with a grain of salt, smile and say "thank you for your support" but understand they can never know how it feels to go through what youve gone through. that's why you have us :)
good luck! xoxo
I have been thinking something like... "Yes this surgery is a good thing in the long run but why cant he/she be more supportive to my anxieties and pain right now? the long term benefits will come but its hard to focus on that when things hurt and my every day activities are so complicated and time consuming?"
my advice is just take it with a grain of salt, smile and say "thank you for your support" but understand they can never know how it feels to go through what youve gone through. that's why you have us :)
good luck! xoxo
Cindy:
I know it stings a bit to hear something like that from a friend, but I will say that it is my belief that sometimes we don't want to hear what is true. I believe that we have to really listen with open ears and hearts to learn what we need to and that people are put in our lives for a reason. Your friend cares about you a great deal. She is here to help you grow as a person. When the student is ready, the teacher will appear so the saying goes. Sometimes we don't want to see our faults and as food addicts we have used our "drug" to cover up a lot about ourselves we haven't been facing. Does that make sense? I believe if you take time to get over what she said and focus in on what her true intentions were and all that you will see her concern and care for you. She wants you to get the best out of life and sometimes our thinking is just skewed. We hear a lot of negative talk in our heads and it transfers into our actual talk which is not self serving at all. The negative chatter just brings more negative in our lives. Just my take on the situation. I have been trying to be more positive and I am having to retrain myself from the years of abuse by myself and others as well. Problem is that I was allowing people to treat me badly since I guess it was all I felt I deserved. We are our worst enemy the majority of time but we can be our own best friend is what she is trying to say. Keep your chin up and try and look at the situation from a different point. Like the glass being half full instead of half empty. Take care!
Lisa
I know it stings a bit to hear something like that from a friend, but I will say that it is my belief that sometimes we don't want to hear what is true. I believe that we have to really listen with open ears and hearts to learn what we need to and that people are put in our lives for a reason. Your friend cares about you a great deal. She is here to help you grow as a person. When the student is ready, the teacher will appear so the saying goes. Sometimes we don't want to see our faults and as food addicts we have used our "drug" to cover up a lot about ourselves we haven't been facing. Does that make sense? I believe if you take time to get over what she said and focus in on what her true intentions were and all that you will see her concern and care for you. She wants you to get the best out of life and sometimes our thinking is just skewed. We hear a lot of negative talk in our heads and it transfers into our actual talk which is not self serving at all. The negative chatter just brings more negative in our lives. Just my take on the situation. I have been trying to be more positive and I am having to retrain myself from the years of abuse by myself and others as well. Problem is that I was allowing people to treat me badly since I guess it was all I felt I deserved. We are our worst enemy the majority of time but we can be our own best friend is what she is trying to say. Keep your chin up and try and look at the situation from a different point. Like the glass being half full instead of half empty. Take care!
Lisa
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