I am home from Memphis and disappointed - long!

I have been to Memphis to my neice's wedding - left last Wednesday and returned home today. 
I had told my sister and my mother about being banded and that even though I had lost weight, I felt like I looked a lot like I did in February. Although I weigh less today than when  was there in February,  I had gained some between February and August - my surgery date.  I wanted them to know that I was eating differently than before.  And told them the *rules* for the band.

Well - nothing was said about my weight loss.  I am more than disappointed because I have worked very hard to be where I am today.  I have more energy - I didn't need to get an extension on the airplane seat belts - I could walk the airport without huffing and puffing - and I know that I have done the right thing for me!

My mother had prepared a cheesecake type pie and said I could eat it.  When I asked how she made it, she said out of a box - all I could think about was a no-bake cheesecake mix that I didn't think was sugar free and fat free.  So when I asked more questions, she got rather ugly about it... She then put down a box of Jello SF, FF cheesecake pudding mix and said *there*... I then asked about the cool whip that was used and the graham cracker crust... Needless to say I never got a straight answer and I didn't eat it.

I am so glad to be home... I did buy some low carb slim fast and had for breakfast for 2 days, but now I can get back to my usual plan.  I will weigh in the morning.

I have missed everyone so much on this board.  It is wonderful to be home and read everyone's posts.  I will be catching up for the next several hours, and I see there are some new people, too.  Hope to meet everyone soon.

I am sorry I am whining... and this is long.

Shelia

((((Shelia)))),

I didn't year you whining. I heard that you were hurt and frustrated. I'm so sorry that this was difficult and that you didn't get the support and recognition of the progress you've made and the effort you are putting into getting healthier ... and yes, looking better. I don't know why some people are the way that they are ... and I don't know why we need/want their approval, but so goes the world.

Be sure to come back here for plenty of hugs and support as you work towards the healthier you that is emerging.

If you are able, consider joining some of us for a night at the movies in Raleigh. We are going to see Night in Rodanthe ... an evening with Richard Gere ... What could be better? I can even forgo chocolate for an evening with him ... LOL.

I hope that the wedding was all that your neice and her new husband dreamed of and I hope that you were able to enjoy it and the festivities surrounding it.

It's great to have you back.

Hugs,

Barb

Barb,

Thank you for your kind words of comfort.  I did tell my family that even though I had lost weight that there was not much difference since they lost saw me, but that I was able to wear clothes that I had not been able to in a long time.  It was hurtful, but I say again, I am doing this for me.

I would love a night with Richard Gere LOL... but Raleigh is probably a good 4 hour drive for me...

My neice married a guy from India - they had a Hindu wedding on Saturday morning and then a Christian wedding on Saturday evening.  The women were dressed in their traditional attire and looked so very beautiful.  Lesley also wore a sari and even though she is blonde and very pale, she looked as beautiful as the other women.  It was a very interesting wedding and very full weekend.  The bridesmaid luncheon was on Friday, the rehearsal dinner on Friday night and then all of Saturday was weddings and the reception.  I didn't fall prey to th wedding cake !  And sampled several things that were new to me.

Glad to hear that Sarah is doing better and that her trip to NYC was a good one....

Hugs back to ya !
Shelia

Hi Shelia,

I'm sorry you are sooo far away, but I'll be thinking of you and you'll need to go drool over Mr. Gere and we can compare notes later.

I'm delighted to hear that you enjoyed what sounds like an absolutely lovely wedding.

Barb

Shelia, sweetheart, I am so glad you are home!  Somewhere in the chaos of this past week, I remember reading that you were going to be out of town and I have thought and thought about you. 

Nothing's more disappointing than to not receive commendation and validation for our hard work, especially the life-changing work you are doing.  I don't know why people do that, especially our loved ones, but they do!  (I've been there!) 

Keep remembering why you have done this and focus on all those wow moments you had during your trip...congratulations on each and every one of them...your hard work IS paying off, whether your family noticed or not!  I am so proud of you that you stuck to your guns about the cheesecake, got the LC Slim-Fast for breakfast, and did everything you could to continue your success away from home.  The next time they see you, you will take their breath away!

Much love and WELCOME HOME!!! 

Shauna,

Thank you for recognizing my efforts !  LOL  I didn't even eat any wedding cake!  But sampled with a bite or two of some new and interesting food items from the Hindu culture.

It was disappointing but I am so glad to be home and can continue with my efforts.

Love you,
Shelia

((((((((((((((SHELIA))))))))))))))))))))))

How disappointing- One thing I was warned of is that close friends and family, sometimes don't know how to handle the change. They can be jealous, or just not know how to relate to you without your food addiction..

I know my mother tries to "love me" through food. Your mom may just need to learn how to show you love with out sweets..

(Post op's PLEASE let me know if I am off base here)

Like you said, you did the right thing for you!!! We are all proud of you! Hey, think, pre-op, you probably would have devoured a big slice of cheesecake!! (I would have!) You made the right choice to continue your success- That is AWESOME!!!!

Welcome home!

Kim

I believe you are fairly new to the boards, so I welcome you.  I will catch up eventually with all your posts. 
Thank you for your kind words.  I did tell my mother that I would like to eat every one of the desserts that were there, but I knew I could not and that I would appreciate some answers when I ask how something is made....  I got a bit snappy...  But this journey is for me.

Thank you for the welcome home and I hope to get to know you better over the next few days.

Shelia

I am so glad to see you back. I have been thinking about you also. Glad you are back safe and sound.  I think sometimes our family do not know what to say because they are afraid they might say the wrong thing. Last year I lost 30 pounds but then stopped loosing. Of course this year I have found all 30 lbs and 20 more. My father was ohh so happy at first  when I was loosing and then  3-4 months later when I said I was having a hard time loosing he said  "I can't tell youve lost any at all."  Boy was I hurt. I think that the next time you see them you will show them all how the band is working for you and how far you have come. If they still don't say anything then I would definetly say something to them. It is hurtful when our family and friends don't acknowledge that they see a change in us.

A girl I work with had the lap band on September 10th. SHe has the large lap band(I think its 14 cc). She has already had to buy new clothes and you can tell the difference in her but I see her every day. I see other people not even saying anything to her and its like they are avoiding talking about it.  To me Its like when someone dies and noone wants to talk about it. Very strange how people can react.

Tamara

Tamara,

Perhaps you are right and our family and friends don't know what to say to changes within us.  I was giving some thought to going back sometime before the end of the year and taking my grandson - we will drive this time - but after the disappointment, I am not sure that I really want to go.

I guess that those of us that have had or are waiting to have WLS are more sensitive to giving support... And I thank you for your support and friendship.  Hope we can get together soon....

Shelia