In tears.....need serious non-judgmental help

Ok everyone.... I need help.   Not judgement or anything please...just serious help.   I don't know where things went awry.   As some of you know in the 11 months since my surgery...I have had such a rough road being in the hospital and everything.  Was very sick.    Then, my life has started to straighten out.   

Ok....here is the deal.  I have come to a complete stall and not only that, I am gaining weight!!!!   I am going to take ownership for myself, but, also I had to start one of the many medicines my various doctors put me on for my stomach and I swear to you....I have a ravenous appetite and only want carbs.   I have gained 6 lbs back.   I am CRUSHED!!!!!   I am so distraught about this that all I can do is cry.   It would be easy if I could just STOP eating carbs.   But, it is this crazy urge that I cannot seem to control and we don't shop like we used to.   No protein around.  

I have 30 lbs. more to go to get to my goal and I am almost a year out.  Isn't that where everything stops?  Meaning you don't lost weight anymore?    I don't work out because I stay exhausted.   Can someone please give some encouraging words or advice.   I didn't go through this hell to end up here.....

Desperately seeking help....

Caroline

Oh Caroline, sweetie, you have been through SO much, give yourself a break!  Certainly don't beat up on yourself!  The reason why you are so ravenous all the time is because you are eating carbs and that is a vicious cycle that feeds on itself, as I am sure you know.  I understand there are good carbs, but we don't process foods like others do and I know that FOR ME, carbs are a trigger that gets me into trouble.  So I do severely restrict my intake of carbs to very little whole grains, low carb veggies, and very little fruit.  That has at least stopped me from gaining any weight.

That being said, I am also struggling to lose the last 20 lbs to my goal.  And of course I have been in fear that now that it has been over a year for me, it is over.  There is a woman at work who had WLS surgery over 3 years ago.  Now keep in mind she was super morbidly obese to begin with.  She has lost over 250 lbs since surgery and is still losing!  And she is not depriving herself either!  So I take hope from her experience and wish that you will too.

Also, I was recently diagnosed as being hypothyroid.  That could have to do with my weight loss being so slow.  I am now on thyroid supplementation for a month and haven't seen the scale move yet but I don't feel as though I am struggling to prevent it from staying where it is, so I still have hope.  I just had more bloodwork done this week and now the thyroid levels are normal.  I am waiting to receive the lab results.

Honey, you are still adjusting to being back among the living, so please go easy on yourself!  Discuss your concerns with your surgeon and if he or she thinks it's ok, you might want to get back to basics for a couple of weeks.  I would recommend de-toxing from the carbs completely with restriction similar to Atkins Induction phase for 2 weeks, keeping your daily intake of carbs to 20 gr or under.  Increase your protein with shakes if you can handle them, or try some of the low=carb recipes that are available.  I have a ton of them if you want to PM me.

But the first thing you have to do is stop judging yourself.  Please be kind to yourself and love yourself back into the winning side.  You have taken the first step doing that in asking for help.  Good for you!  Please stay in touch and reach out any time to me here or privately.  It was so good to hear from you again.

Suzanne,

How is it that you always know the right thing to say?  I really appreciate your uplifting email.   I needed that.   My family "support" here (not husband or kids...extended) never wanted me to do and are basically waiting for me to fail.  

My doctor had subscribed medicine for my Fibromyalgia  and the side effect is carb craving.  So, that doesn't help.  I barely eat protein anymore and my hair is back to falling out.   Trust me when I say, I want to cut out these bad carbs.   It is like I have an addiction and it has a hold on me.  It is so frustrating.   

I am going to do the Atkins phase and see how that works.   And exercising....at a minimum...walking.  

Thank you for your words of encouragement.....

Caroline

Sweetie, you DO have an addiction!  That's what carbs do to some of us.  The only way out is to eliminate them, virtually, from our routine.  Carbs make me want more carbs, there are just no two ways about it.  And MANY of us are like this!  I do not keep anything white in the house>  flour, rice, pasta, milk, and of course sugar.  I do not eat anything that has them in it.  First of all, they make me feel sick and sluggish.  Secondly, they make me want more and keep me hungry.  Protein gives me a feeling of satisfaction that lasts.  Please have your metabolism checked and ask your surgeon if there is an alternative way to treat your fibro.  Also if you could tolerate a low-carb diet.  Yes, I said that four-letter word!  And if you want support on this please reach out to me privately.  I know there are mixed feelings about this here and I am not trying to sell anyone on anything.

(((((((((((((HUGS))))))))))))))))))))))) <-------------- YOU........... Call your surgeon and ask for help. You already stated you have bonded with him. Tell him about the meds and beg for something else..... Try the best you can and get your protein in first. You said no protein around, you can change that.......... You can do this, don't give up all of what you have been thru. 6 pounds to us is nothing to lose, 60  pounds IS............... no matter how hard get all bad crap out of the house and start back from basics. you can do this......... YOU CAN............

Caroline:

They have said it all!   One of our other members, Kim (who i haven't seen in a long time..need to follow up with her) was also on meds for fibromyalgia and stopped losing.  She kept her chin up and was finally able to come off of it.    Think the high protein will be what you need.  You may also want to call you NUT and see if she recommends the liquid diet for 2 weeks to give you a jump start.  I agree, you need to get all the carbs out of the house.  If hubby and kids want it, they can buy a single serving and get their fix.

You take care and hang in there my friend!

Pam

Everyone knows I'm more a facts chicka.. I'd love to give you rainbows and sparkles, but I'm seriously sleep-deprived and work hard enough to coddle my kiddos.

So here's a plain, hard fact that you're gonna love.

Ready?

I'm 4+ yrs out.  And I am still losing.

The honeymoon period simply is when the body has not adjusted to the malabsorption that you have given it, nor to the lower food quantities you are feeding it.  Technically, you are in a state of medically-forced starvation, both with portion control and with the malabsorption of the calories, macronutrients, and micronutrients.

When the body adjusts to the malabsorption, you will see a loss slowdown.  It's normal, and really isn't unusual to gain weight as your body adjusts.

However, you can still lose.  YOu still have portion control and that will help wonders.

So take heart.. it's not the end of the world.  You can still lose weight if you are so inclined.  (Does that count as a sparkle?)

((((Caroline)))),

Hon, first of all, please be gentle with yourself. You've had the most incredibly difficult year and you've done an absolutely amazing job despite the incredible difficulties you and your dear family have had to deal with.

Re: timelines. While the majority of the weightloss occurs during the first 12 months, that doesn't mean that the door slams shut at midnight on the 365th day. As a matter of a fact, mine, LisaW's, DebM's weight loss has not stopped at the magically appointed date, we've continued to lose. What is true, is that the most rapid 'easiest' weight loss will occur during the first 12 months or so. It's not uncommon for folks to continue to lose for up to 18 months post op, but statistically, you'll lose the most of what you are going to lose in the first year. Okay, so that said, while you might not be where you had planned and wanted to be, I'll bet that when you see Dr. Portenier, Patrick and your group next month, they are all going to be incredibly pleased with the progress you've made. In the meantime, please call Patrick and tell him of your challenges and work to make some changes that will support your continued loss. I'm sure that you'll be able to fine-tune things to make some positive movement in the direction that makes you happy and healthy. Also, be sure to call and talk with the RNP about the meds you are taking the impact they are having on your appetite and your weightloss efforts. Maybe they can work with your GI Dr to find a solution works better for you and/or find some ways to help you navigate this turn in the road as you work towards attaining your goal.

BTW, re: carb cravings and taming them, think about adding nuts and other carb/protien into your diet, it might help to balance the carbs that you are craving with the protien that fuels your body and will stay with you better without creating the glucose spikes and related cravings that simple carbs do. Just a thought!

Please feel free to contact me anytime, by phone or email.

Barb

P.S. Do you think you can make it out to the movies next Friday? I'd love to see you and I understand that the movie is supposed to be great. See the post about it below. Hugs, B

 

I don't mean to hijack your post, but I feel like you wrote it for me.  I have had surgeries, messed up labs and exhaustion and have not performed the way I wanted.  I would love to talk to  you and maybe we can work together on getting jump started again and be a team together.  I really need a buddy.  You guys have such a support system up there that I am jealous.  I will take any help I can get.  I would love to help you too.

Barbara

I would love to be your buddy.  I think it would be healthy for the both of us!!!!  I would love to help others so that I don't focus so much on myself, ya know?

Please keep in touch!

Caroline
[email protected]