When It Rains, It DOES Pour! (long)
I do have an incredible hubby. I am the epitome of my sign, Cancer. My heart is definitely my husband, our children, and our home.
It does me good to hear that the support group you attended was so powerful. I am have been hesitating on going tonight because of the gas crisis ($$$ and availability), but hubby won't hear of it...he says I AM GOING! haha
Powerful...the fact that obesity causes a person to feel they have to take second best. I hadn't *thought* of that before, but I realize instantly how true that is. I can't wait to regain my confidence and to feel I am worthy of the very best...that I don't have to feel ashamed or apologetic for just being ME! I am so glad you are making those strides. You are a beautiful, amazing, inspiring woman that is so deserving of the best of everything life has to offer!
I am remembering when, I think it was Shelli, told me to just JUMP...that there will be people there to catch me. Well, you and she are right. I need to follow my hubby's lead and just JUMP. Everything will work out. I think Lee and my hubby (Allen) ascribe to the same logic!
I will be sure to PM you my number again and you are welcome to call anytime, though I won't really have time to talk this afternoon. I'll try to catch up with you soon though...I still have your number!
(((((HUGS))))) Oh sweetie - step back take a big deep breath and then let it out. You've been under a lot lately and amazingly you've handled it really well. The mother in you wants to carry the weight of the world to shield your family from everything - but guess what? Somethings you just have to let go. Your husband is right - you can't not put yourself first. As Mom's and wives we always put others first - even the pets come ahead of our well being.
Pushing back your psych appointment to next week really won't matter in the long run - delaying your surgery for months probably would matter if you put it off. The kids will not hate you if they have to step away from their extra activities for a week or so until you can drive after surgery.
As far as everything being over budget witht he remodel - that my friend is the nature of the beast. Anytime that you think something can be done in a week it takes 6 months and if the estimate is $100 plan on another $1000. There are lots of us out here who are living amidst the rubble of remodeling projects. I came home from work one day years ago to find my husband had knocked out a wall and closet in the master bedroom to create something "beautiful" he had even taken down the ceiling so we had exposed rafters in the attic. (I'm still not sure what he was thinking) long story short - he died suddenly before he finished this project. Do you have any idea how hard it is to find someone willing to finsih a remodel that someone else started? Plus there were no plans, rhyme or reason for how he was doing stuff.
You are so focused on getting healthy - make yourself your number one priority and don't back down. We're here for ya.
- Iris
Blessed are the flexible for they shall not be bent out of shape.
Highest Surgery Lowest Current
314.5 294 208 258.4
Had to smile when you said that even our pets come ahead of our well being. Touche! (Maddie is all snuggled up here next to mommy now.)
I loved your thought on how pushing back the psych appointment a week won't matter in the long run, but delaying my surgery for months, perhaps a year, probably would. Can't wait to share that one with hubby.
You are so right about the nature of the beast. The most well thought out plans go awry, right?!
Hubby made another great point...I've saved the money for the surgery and it is there waiting for me to use it as planned. It would be much harder for us to come up with that lump again for the surgery than to nickel and dime the things we need to finish the house interior a bit at a time.
I am so sorry to hear about your husband's sudden passing, Iris. I hope time has helped you and your boys to heal. I think one of the things that keeps me in turmoil about this house is what a conundrum the kids and I would be in if something like that happened and it wasn't finished yet.
Hubby keeps saying, "You can't base your life on what-ifs." The fact of the matter is that I am fat and miserable and RNY is my last beacon of hope. I have got to regain my focus and get excited again!
Good luck. Hope to see ya soon!!!!!!!!!!
My husband was so right when he said last night that time has actually been against me. I have had too much time to worry myself to death about hubby missing work, who's going to pick up the kids, if I should spend this money on me instead of our home, etc. It will actually be the best thing for me to have the surgery as soon as possible so then all of that is over with and can just focus on getting healthy, experiencing all the benefits I know will come to my family and I.
I am thankful that I do not feel any trepidation about the surgery itself or the lifestyle that follows. Hickory Surgical makes me feel like I am in the best hands possible. I hope they will make you feel the same.
Hopefully we can make it to a Hickory support group together sometime. I am registered to go to Mission's next one in October and I think Diane is going to be coming with me. Would you like to join us?
Suzanne, Your reply made me laugh because I have been told on more than one occasion that I am not God! hehe And oh how ill-suited I am for the job as well...yoiks!
Was giving myself a lecture yesterday about how I had felt so convicted that this was meant to be. It was almost miraculous how everything fell into place about having the surgery. How could I just shut all of that out and ignore it now???
Loved hearing you say to break things down into manageable units, taking one thing at a time. I'm the Mrs. Baby Steps advocate so I certainly should be able to follow this advice!
