Today's Blog - Confession

I am so glad you say that you found peace the morning of your surgery, Pam.  I guess that is what I am waiting and hoping for, a peace to wash over me.  Hopefully it will come sooner rather than later!  Thank you for your confidence in me making the right decision.  After *talking* with you all, I definitely feel better about being on the right track! 

We *all* felt that way.  The guilt of needing a surgery.. the feeling of failure.. etc.  It's completely normal.

Hell, I got off the operating room table because I was unsure.. I mean, I showed my butt and everything.  I don't remember who convinced me to get back up on the table, but I'm glad they did.

Point is.. you are honest about it.  It helps while you make these decisions to be 100% honest.  It makes things easier down the road.

Let us know how we can help you.

So I'm not special?!    hehehe 

Thank you for relating.  Yes, the guilt...feeling of failure...what I'm about to do because I can't control this issue myself on my own! 

Thanks also for the mental image of you hopping off the operating table, full-moon style.    Knowing how far you've come now, I'm also glad whoever it was convinced you to get back up and on with the show!

Yes, another quality of mine, besides the analytical/controlling part, is honesty.  I just can't BS myself! 

Thanks too, Andrea, for your offer of help...I have learned you are an invaluable part of the OH community and I am happy to know you are here for me!

((((Shauna)))),

I'm so glad to see your post and of course, delighted with the response that I knew you would receive. OH is a wonderful, powerful resource, but I'm especially proud to be associated with the people the make up the NC Forum which is one of the most caring, supportive places you may ever find re: WLS or anything else, for that matter. As you have seen and I think will continue to see there are a variety of responses, but they have similar threads; follow your own heart and head, only you can make this decision, we'll be here to support/catch you, there are no 'wrong' decisions here...

Like you, I'm very analytical; I'm teased about being the queen of lists. But like you, I also have my emotional, soft side. I just always want to be sure that I'm thinking with my brain and not just my heart. I hear that in you and I do believe the weighing your options so fully is really going to help you; not only as you make your decision, but also as you live it. 

Keep doing the things that you are doing. Keep journaling your intake and activity. It will help in the short and long term ... awareness is a powerful tool! Like you, I wished that it would be enough for me. It wasn't, but awareness, my WLS, accountability and support have made an incredible difference in my life and I look forward to watching as it does so for you as well.

Wishing you continued success and support in this incredible journey,

Barb

((((Barbara)))),  Can't begin to tell you how much you helped me yesterday and how glad I am that you encouraged me to post about this.  The responses were just as you said they would be. 

You and I are kindred spirits.  I'm also known as the queen of lists (and coupon queen!) to anyone who knows me.  I guess you hit the nail on the head for me too about wanting to make sure I am thinking with my brain, and not just my heart! 

I will keep on keeping on and looking forward.  Thanks again!

Shauna,

I completely agree with all the previous responses...we all have had doubts.  It took me a long time to accept the fact that I could not lose the weight that I needed to lose without the assistance of WLS, but I'm really glad that I did. 

Once my mind was made up, I had no further doubts.  My surgery was a little out of the norm.  I had a leak and so I ended up having 2 surgeries in less than 48 hours and spent 24 hours in ICU and 5 days in the hospital.  I tell you that, not to scare you, but to let you know that even though things didn't go quite as I had hoped, I wouldn't trade this experience.  I'm only 5 weeks post-op but have lost 46lbs and am realizing what a life changing event this has been for me.

Each day gets better and I, like you, was very lucky and didn't have a lot of health problems, but did have mobility issues.  I haven't taken any medication since surgery and I'm already able to move better and stand longer without pain.

So while you may have doubts, just keep doing what you're doing.  Read everything you can, research and ask questions.  At the end of the day, do what's right for you.

I am so sorry that you had such a tough time getting through the surgery and hospital stuff, but it's amazing to know that despite all that, you would still do it again.    I can't imagine what it would feel like to shed 46 of these pounds in a mere 5 weeks.  You must feel like you are being reborn!  Congratulations and thanks so much for the encouragement!

 Hey Shauna,  You'll do just fine with WLS I feel.  Don't beat yourself up, being a "big fellow" all my life, there's been enough of that from everyone else!!  I'm just 6 weeks out from my surgery but my life / health has already changed drastically for the better... Look at me; I must the only "guy" on here...?  The support here is tremendous and we are here for you as well!
Thanks so much with help with my avatar!  Can you do another picture for me sometime? Good Luck!  Marty

 

Hi Marty.    Thanks for the encouraging words.  I am so glad to hear that you are doing so well in just 6 short weeks.  There are other guys here on the NC forum, I know I've seen some.  "Jason" in particular is a great guy.  Please say on board and join in on all the fun support.  The more the merrier.  Anytime I can help you with a photo and/or an avatar, just send it my way...it was my pleasure! 

I t is a common thing to worry if this drastic measure is the right one. I am 54 years old and have fought weight my entire life. the final straw was going to the hospital ER thinking i WAS HAVING A HEART ATTACK. But it was HBP.  I investigated the different types of wls......all the pros and cons I could find. I decided it was the only choice I had to stay alive and not be cripled and in a wheel chair. My highest weight was 334..I lost 45 pounds on the weigh****cher program and had already started to gain it all back (about up to 307) I am now 206. And if I don't loose another pound I am in better shape than I have been in over 35 years. But I believe I will keep loosing.  To make your pre surgery attemp to loose weight I sugest you write down everything you put in your mouth....look at serving size and measure. It worked for me when I set my mind to it. I could eat more than most men and that was the only way I could loose. DR.B would cancel the surgey if I gained 1lb. 
   You will be fine...you are young and will enjoy your new body for the rest of your life. It also sounds like you have your DH's support and that means the world in a journey like this.
Good Luck!
Don't Worry  Be Happy!
Myrtis