New Member and Desperate

 

Hello everyone,

 

I’ve been lurking on the website just reading for a couple weeks before I got up the nerve to post something on the board. I’m 22 years-old and have been over-weight since about 11 years-old, but it really seemed to take off when I hit my middle teens. I’ve always been the “fat but fit” type, even overweight I always managed to keep up, I did what I wanted to as far as going to an Ivy League college, studying abroad in England for a year and traveling to places like Paris, Scotland, Egypt and all over Britain. Even then, with all the successful and exciting times I’ve had, with all the amazing friendships I’ve made, I’m still utterly miserable. I know my weight is getting really critical and I increasingly feel a sense of desperation that I must do something, and do it soon.

 

I think I reached rock bottom a few days after my 22^nd birthday at the end of June. I had flown to Washington D.C. to attend a friend’s wedding (the flight was VERY uncomfortable with me stuffed in a plane seat). I wasn’t feeling well but I put on a brave face and enjoyed the wedding and the opportunity to see some of my dear school friends again after our graduation in May. By the time I got home I was even sicker and my mother drove me to the hospital. When they tried to weigh me in triage, I was horrified to find out I was too fat for the scale! They literally had to “guesstimate’ my weight at “about 354” pounds, I wanted to die. I was horrified because I never really took complete stock of how bad things had gotten. I had been researching WLS for over a year by then, but that incident at the hospital was the proverbial last straw. I have nightmares of having a heart attack or a stroke, of getting diabetes or sleep apnea. I have no co-morbidities, but I do have a BMI of almost 54, which in itself is life-threatening enough. I’m only 22, there is so much I haven’t had a chance to do in my life and I feel like WLS is my best hope to start me on the path of a healthier life. I have a beautiful 8 month-old God-Daughter, and I really feel I probably won’t live to see her grow up if I don’t have surgery to help me lose this weight. I don’t want to die, I most emphatically want to live, and I just finally decided I’m not going to wait any longer to take back my life.

 

I haven’t told my friends or family about what I plan to do, afraid they wouldn’t support me, or try to talk me out of it, or criticize me about taking the “easy” way out. I don’t see this as the easy way at all, I know the surgery has risks and that I could possibly die, but the life I have now is but a half life, and I refuse to settle for that anymore when I know something better can be achieved with hard work and real dedication. I’m scared to death, I haven’t even talked to my PCP, I don’t know the first step to take to get things started, I just know I feel really alone in this at the moment and I decided to reach out to the board in the hopes of some words of encouragement to bolster my courage. I don’t know anyone in the Wilmington area to talk to about doctors (Burgaw is a tiny town outside the city of Wilmington NC for everyone who hasn’t heard of it, which is usually most people).

 

Sorry for the long post, but it’s the first time I’ve really talked about my decision for WLS outside my own head and I figured if I could make even one friend at OH it would be an immense help. Thank you for listening.

 

Shonda

Hey Shonda. My names Amber... dont feel bad i am oly 18 and 250! I was also afraid to tell my family and friends but i told my father bc he is going thru what i am. To my surpise everyone in my family is excited for me only bc they have seen me shuggle that last 6 years of my life with my weight bc of soemthing a dr. did to me! i use to be only 130lbs so i feel kinda cheated out my life but im only 18 and have decided to do this bc i wanna live the rest of my life to the fulliest!


Good luck with telling your family and if you did anything we are all here to help you... most ppl will answer any ?s you have... this place as become a big surport for me so i hope you find it to be the same


Good luck


<3 amber

You have already begun!!  Getting your mind ready is very important.  Next - check with your PCP, he can probably recommend a surgeon.  Check into seminars in your area about WLS and attend one.  We live in Jacksonville and my DH is having to go to Greenville for his lap band.  Check with your insurance to see if they will cover the surgery if you have no co-morbs.   My insurance wouldn't cover my surgery so I was self pay in Mexico.  We have a WLS support get together here in Jacksonville on Aug 5th, at Logan's on Western Blvd. at 6 PM.  We are lap banders and RNY'ers, so you can get perspective from all of us.  Come and join us.  Remember, we have ALL been where you are!

Hi Shonda,
Welcome to the NC Boards.
Taking that first step is always the hardest but it is also showing me you are ready to start to live.
In my opinion we have been held captive for X number of years in our own bodies.
Since my RNY I feel as if I have finally been set free.
My wls journey has and is an amazing adventure.
There is nothing easy about wls.
The girls down your way from OH I like to call the beach girls they are a great bunch and I am sure you will hear from them too.
You are not alone in your feelings and I am glad you came here to post.
Keep posting.
                                      Annie

Shonda~

First of all welcome to the board! You are a stones throw up the road from me!! I am in Richlands, another tiny town and I live close by the Jacksonville airport. One of my best friends lives in Burgaw Thanks for sharing your story and it sounds like you have finally made the decision to do something about your health. I went to Greenville instead of Wilmington as I did not like the Doctors that were available to me in Wilmington. Their are a few ladies here that have gone to Wilmington and everyone has their own opinion but the choice will be YOURS on how well you like the Doctor and his staff. We have a support group of people from all around this area that are post op and pre op, we get together for meetings and the next one is August 5th at 6:00 pm at Logans roadhouse in Jacksonville. We would LOVE to have you join us for dinner and chat!!
Darcie

Shonda,

First of all, I want to welcome you to the NC OH Forum. I have found this to be an invaluable resource for support and information. I hope that you will as well.

We all have a 'breaking point' and unfortunately, it's often a painful one; however, I must say that my only true regret about my decision to have WLS is that I didn't do it much sooner. Try as I may, I can truly effectively articulate the incredible changes in my physical and emotional health, as well as the improvements in the quality of life since I had my surgery last year.

You are wise to investigate this fully and I applaud your taking the time to explore the types of surgery and the programs and surgeons available to you. If you look at the following link you will find an extensive list of bariatric surgeons in NC: http://www.obesityhelp.com/forums/NC/a,doclisting/type,46/. The surgeons that appear at the beginning of the list are not better (or worse) that the others, but they have affilitated themselves with OH. The ones that appear later in the listing just aren't affilitated with OH. You will see that there are a number of programs in the area. When I was looking into it, I went to a number of programs. You will find that there are some variations from program to program and Dr. to Dr. As I went to the different seminars, I was able to glean more and more information and I was very comfortable with the decision I made. Overall, I think that it's important to find a practice that provides a multi-dicisplinary approach and long-term follow-up. The statistics show that patients thrive in this environment.

As you are researching the choices that are available, please feel comfortable coming here to post questions and concerns. You will get plenty of responses ... of course, use your filters and make your decisions based on all of the information you gather.

I'm not sure if you saw it, but I posted a thread this weekend about the statistics "10 years out" ... you can find a version of it on my profile. When you are ready to discuss this with your family, maybe those statistics will help them. Also know that WLS as a whole is not anymore 'dangerous' than many other surgical procedures and depending on the practice and your overall health the odds can be better than the average.

You will not need to have any comorbidities to qualify for surgery because your BMI is over 40. Many programs will not do the surgery if you are over 400 lbs., but that is not an issues for you either. You can contact your insurer, if you have not already done so and ask them if they cover WLS. If they say yes, then ask them what the prerequisites are ... i.e., medically supervised weight loss attempt, use of a Center of Excellence ... if so, is there a list of COE's they recognize because not all are recognized by all insurances... etc...

Sorry for the long response. I look forward to getting to know you as you make this incredible, life-changing journey.

Wishing you all the best,

Barb

Shonda,  You have already gotten some great advice so I just want to hop in here and offer my hand of friendship and support as well.    Please keep us posted as you contact your insurance, pcp, and investigate further.  We'll be here for you! 

Welcome, Shonda...

This site is extremely supportive and informative... we hope to get to know you.

Shelia

Hi Shonda, welcome to the NC Boards.  You've come to the right place dear!  Your post shows that you have thought through many of the issues that we all go through in making the decision to have WLS.  RNY or LapBand are both great choices and once you decide on one, your surgeon will help you decide which is the best choice for you. 

You've gotten some great advice already from your post from some of our Biggest Losers!  Don't hesitate to ask anything that comes to your mind. 

We're happy you found us and just know that we are here for you as you travel down this journey to a healthier and better YOU!

and yes, girl, I know exactly where Burgaw is!  My Mom grew up in Williard, which is even smaller than Burgaw

Alice

Hi Shonda,

We are practacally neighbors! How is Pender County?  I am over in Columbus County. I have a cousin who lives in Burgaw.

  I am scheduled for LapBand Surgery with Dr. James Harris at Coastal Carolina Surgery Specialist in Wilmington on August 12th!  Whooooo Hoooooo!  I am so excited I can't hardly stand it.  Sara (pronounced Zara) is the person I frist talked to about the surgery she is his Bariactric Coordinator.  She sent me a packet with loads of information and set me up with an appointment with Dr. Harris when I had filled out the paperwork and sent it back to her.  My impressions of Dr. Harris is that he is very professional and caring.  I am very comfortable with him and confident that my surgery will be done without problems. 

There is nothing "easy" about being super morbidly obese either!  But then who said life was easy!  This is a decision that you have to make for you.  As far as talking about it that is a personal choice. Some folks keep it a big secret and just say I am under a doctor's care and am watching what I eat and try to exercise more. Which is the absolute truth!  Me?  We everybody knows!!!  LOL  I am to excited to keep it in.  So far everyone who I have talked to about it is pulling for me 100%.  I have not heard any negative comments, if anyone is thinking it they are keeping it to themselves.  Most of my family and friends have said Good for you!

Good luck with what ever you decide.  Keep in touch.

Vera