workplace chit chat about your WLS (long)

IT's none of their business.  I worked with a team of 12 vicious women including my new boss when I had WLS.  I would not tell anyone if I didn't have too.  The problem is they want to know then use the info for their self gain.  I was loosing weight rapidly and it was my business how it was happening and I didn't want to share.   All kinds of things happen in these situations.

If you find someone whose truely suppotive and trust worthy then let them know, otherwise it's ok to keep it to yourself.  I found the hardest part for me was the eating small meals all day long.  now it's no sweat.  The people will notice what your eating and might comment too.  Just don't give them the satisfaction of knowing.

I had one person tell me to eat up at a food day because i was getting too skinny and I was offended.  I told her that if I was overweight you wouldn't tell me to put the plate down.  So it's a double standard.

Enjoy your weight loss, because it is for you and your health.

I totally understand where you are coming from.  I work with people like you do too.  I don't feel it is anyone's business and I am not telling anyone either.  I have come to realize that people will talk about you regardless of what you say or don't say.  Let them talk, if it isn't about this topic they will find something else.  You have enough stress to deal with the surgery and your recovery don't let these people add anymore stress, take care of you and worry only about your recovery.  Just tell the people in your life that you know will support you and you always have us here at OH.  Good luck in your decision.  :)

I know exactly what you mean!!  I did not tell anyone what I was having because I know they all gossip and it was short notice as well.  I told them I was having stomach surgery for my ulcers *they knew I had been sick for a while with stomach problems (but it was really just the lack of a gallbladder that made me sick when I ate certain things)

I went in a few days ago and they all said oh my you look like you have lost weight and I said yeah because of the ulcers I have to change my diet the Dr. said I could develop more if I don't be careful LOL

Honestly, if you work in that type of environment I would just keep it to my self until the time is right. Some people esp. women can be so hatful and catty.

Good Luck!

They will find out anyway and then talk crap because you tried to hide it at the beginning.  Who cares if they talk?  Why invite the stress of having to conceal something that you should very well be proud of.  Heck yeah I had WLS, and I'm gonna feel better and look better because of it.  If the manager has a problem with it, big deal.  Tell her that due to scheduling issues at the surgeon's office, you had to go now.  Something that being fat for my entire life has taught me is the fact the people will find SOMETHING to talk about you wether it's the weight, or the surgery, or your ears are too big, your kids are bad (I don't know you of course, I'm just throwing stuff out there), etc. Let them hate, you'll be better off in the end and you won't have to look over your shoulder. 

I agree with Jason. I am someone who just lays it all out. If people comment on my weight loss I do tell them I have had surgery. It happens a great deal and I just tell them. I believe people will talk regardless and they will talk behind your back most likely but you have nothing to be ashamed of. You are making a decision to get healthy. Either way, it is your decision. You have to do what makes you feel comfortable. I would imagine it would be hard to conceal WLS since there is noticeable difference right off the bat. Heck, it won't be long before they figure it out, just my opinion.

Lisa

It's a tough decision to make, and a personal one.  What's right for one is not neccessarily right for another. 

But, I'll tell you why I made the decision that I did.  I worked with a group of people very similar to the one you're talking about and we had a girl (just like you said) that obviously had WLS and wouldn't admit it.  She was the talk of the town (behind her back) and it just became an office joke.  The sad thing is, if she had just been honest with people, then we all could have supported her along the way.  By the time I got around to deciding WLS was for me, I was not at that job anymore.  But that experience is why I decided not to hide.  I didn't want to spend my life having to sneak around the truth.

I invited my close friends to a lunch saying I had made a life-changing decision and wanted to share the news with all of them.  (I made sure to mention that no, I wasn't pregnant because that would have been everyone's first thought.)  Then they were all able to ask questions, etc.  I made sure to let them know this was not a secret and if they heard anyone talking about it, they could feel free to contribute any facts or information.  They were all thrilled for me.  I'm sure my excitement about it all was contagious.  Wha-la...I had an instant support group that was willing to help whenever and wherever I needed.  And they have been some of my biggest cheerleaders along my journey.  I'm so glad I decided to be honest about it.  I don't scream it from the rooftops or anything, but if someone asks how I lost so much weight...I think it's only fair to tell them the truth.  Maybe they're in the same place I was and would benefit from talking to me about it.  You never know how your experience could help someone else.

Yes, you have to be preparred for the nay-sayers, but some people will be rude either way, and you'll learn to just let those things wash off your back.  Good luck with your decision!

Hi Shelli,

I'm with Jason, Lisa, Deb and GrammyLew in that I tend to be 'honest' about it. I don't know that 'advertising' is appropriate or anything that I would do, but you have no reason to be uncomfortable about or ashamed of your decision to undergo WLS. It is a personal decision that you have made with the guidance and counsel of your medical team. While it is no one's 'business,' unfortnately, as Deb said, folks are likely to speculate anyway and personally, I'd rather just be upfront and not be the 'butt' of others jokes and inuendos.  I imagine that no matter what you do, some will feel the need to 'pass judgement' and make it fodder for the rumor mill, but I imagine you will find that you have support you didn't know about as well; support you might not have if you keep it 'to yourself.'

Of course, you are going to have to do what is in your own best interest. Whatever you decide, know that we will be here to support you all the way.

Wishing you all the best,

Barb

P.S. I look forward to meeting you soon.

Do what you are most comfortable with, but I too told anyone and everyone.  I was so happy and excited to finally have a "hope" that I could change and something would work for me.  I knew that if I lost want I want to lose everyone would know.  They had worked with me for 3 years and knew any diet I had attempted in the past had not worked.  Everyone is interested and encouraging (at least to my face) and I could care less what anyone says behind my back - I AM HAPPY - that's all that matters.  One thing that really fascinates them is the diabetes aspect - they are so happy for me regarding that.

Good luck!