OT: My heart is aching...long post

Lisa,   I'm so sorry this is happening to you:(  Your ex and his wife didn't have kids for a reason!!!  I'm sure your son moving in with them will cause lots of conflict and your son will see that it's not all he thought it would be.  There is no one like your mom and he will see that.  Best wishes to you!!  Hopefully, you will be posting about his happy return soon! Andrea

(((((((Lisa)))))))),

I wish I could wrap my arms around you. I wish I could ease the ache in your heart and wipe the tears from your eyes. I wish that there was any way to make this painful transition easier to bear, but you know that the reason it is so very hard is that he is now and always be a part of you. He may not fully recognize it now, but eventually he will recognize and acknowledge the selfless gift you have bestowed upon him as you have released him to allow him to fully engage in a relationship with his father. Your pain and angst are palpable, but only because the depth of your love for him is also palpable. It is that love that will get you through this and it is that love that will have him return to you in his own time. It may be soon, or it may take a while, but one way or another he will return to you. This is a far better thing than if you had disregarded his wishes and desires and not allowed him to go to live with his father. I hope that Michael will astound you. I hope that he will step up to the plate and be the father to Garrett that he so richly deserves. I hope that Michael's wife will be the strong, patient step-parent that Garrett needs. But whatever happens, you know ... as does Garrett that if he falls you will be there. You will always be there. That is what gives him the confidence that he can do this and that it will be okay no matter what happens. He knows without question that you always 'have his back.' While this has got to be wildly painful, be proud that you have raised a child that KNOWS that he is absolutely wanted and loved, by you and his father. Remember that YOU have raised him well.

You have laid the foundation and built the walls that are the basis for the person he is now and the young man he will become. Yes, there is still work to be done ... Yes, you wish you could be there to ensure that it will be done as well as you want and expect it to be done ... But remember that when the foundation is good and the walls are straight, the doors, windows and roof will all come together and work fine.

While your ex-husband has growing up to do and a lot to learn about the day-to-day aspects of parenting, remember that he too loves this young man with all of his being. That he also truly wants what is best for Garrett and will truly try to give him what he needs.  Be prepared for him to need help and if you can, provide it because it is Garrett that will benefit ... and Garrett will know.

Please call me if you need and/or want to talk my friend.

With much love,

Barb

P.S. Give Morgan a hug! You both probably need it.

((((Lisa))))

I'm sorry you're having to go through so much!  You have been the parent your Son needed all along and now he's just seeing the friend side of his Dad, I'm sure he'll realize that he misses you and will want to come home soon.  Fun is fun but only for a little while, we all need that security and unconditional love of a parent.  I know this is hard on you but you are a strong woman and as you said, you will get through this.  We are all here for you and I will keep you in my thoughts and prayers!!!!! Sheryl

Lisa, Nothing to say but I feel your pain and wish I could take it from you. Like I've said,,,,,you've done the best thing by letting him go on his own accord, so you won't be seen as the bad guy in his eyes.  He is still a baby and will soon see that although dad can fit the dad shoes, not anyone can fill the MOM shoe's he's used to, especially someone who hasn't learned how to before.  Give him the room and time he needs to grow.  Take care of yourself.....it's ok to cry and mourn for awhile.  Take each day as it comes and don't be too hard on yourself.  Spend special time with  your daughter, for she, too, probably will be hurting in her own way. Keep us posted,, we do love you and care about you here.  You ARE a wonderful woman......I'm here if you need to talk.  Love ya, Nancy PS- what happened at the dentist?

Lisa, He will be back before you know it. Once he does get settled and realize it's not the vacation he thought it was going to be; he'll want to come home.  You figure the times he has spent with his father in the past; his dad was trying to make up for lost time, etc and doesn't necessarily have to be the parent.  Once he lives there, it will probably be a honeymoon phase at first but trust me that will wear off and dad will have to become the parent and patience will wear a little thin.  It will be much different than from the visits.  Your son will realize that he misses "HOME". With that said, I can totally understand where you are coming from.  It would hurt me to know end if my daughter decided to do that.  She is turning 11 this weekend,  who knows you may be reminding me of this conversation sometime down the road. Take care and hang in there, Angie

Lisa I also am sorry that you are going through this.  And as everyone else has said he will look back and realized who did the most for him and he will be back.  I will keep you in my prayers.  Keep your chin up. Lisa