Learning to love ourselves

Ssssssstttt! Yep! I can feel the sizzle!

B

I had come to terms with some of this prior to surgery, and shortly after.  I found myself using terms like "All the time I lost while I was big..."  or "How much of my life I lost to obesity...."  I learned that changing my verbiage was an important part of changing my attitude.  I learned to think differently about the time while I was morbidly obese.  I still had a life then, I still learned much during that time, managed to raise two children, etc.  I didn't lose anything that I wasn't willing to give away for food.  I grieved over that for a time and found that I could let it go. That being said, I understand what you are saying.  I am very self conscious of my arms, and to a lesser extent, my stomach.  I absolutely will not wear shorts that are short enough to show my thighs.  This is part of the process and as you said, we need to let go of what we "did To" ourselves, and accept what we "did FOR" us.  I'm still not going to wear a tank top though. Good luck with this part of the journey.  We'll get there. Ellen

Hi Ellen,

Thanks for your reply. I think that you're right, the way we talk to ourselves is important. I write down daily affirmations and they have to include something I like about my physical self.

I believe that this will get better with time ... I think it really surprised me because I was really pretty comfortable with myself before surgery. Of course, I had some issues with this or that, but I would wear shorts or a sleeveless top in public. I usually dressed well, wore make up and accessories. I generally had a pretty good self-esteem. Honestly, in some ways I was much more comfortable with myself before than I am now. So I guess it really surprised me that I'm now so uncomfortable, but I'm working on it and I know it will get better with time.

Thanks again for the support my friend.

Warmly,

Barb

Yes, maybe we did not fully comprehend what we were doing, ...certainly did not do it on purpose, we always put ourselves last, we loved and nurtured our families,we consoled ourselves with food... the food represents love..the traditional reward, we never took the time to get ourselves straight, by the time we noticed, it was much too late...caught in a vicious cycle of addiction and medication...i am good ...so i eat...i am bad...so i eat...i am frustrated...bored...angry... humiliated...you name it ,  the addiction fuels the problem...finally a solution, a daring risky solution....We couldnt have done it earlier...we didnt have the tool, the cold hard logic, the determination borne of pain and suffering...when you think of your poor skin that stuck with you no matter what....LOL..give it a nice rubdown with some shea butter, cocoa butter or olive oil...put on your comfortable clothes and let it all hang out.  I earned these scars...i dont need any tatoos...i already got some.....Just remember...we have clothes because the vast majority of us dont look so good without them ..   ,,,talk about the great equalizer!!!!    but...NO MATTER WHAT, YOU GOT TO STRUT!!!!     (u look good Barb)

Annie,

Thanks so much for your reply. You are so very right. I spent years pleasing others and taking care of others. It's how I have defined myself. I am learning to take care of me first so that I can take care of others, but I must admit that it feels odd sometimes.

Thanks again,

Barb

Clothes make the man. Naked people have little or no influence on society. - Mark Twain

now thats funny!! love it...this place anchors me!

 

I love your words of wisdom Annie. Very well said and as always thank you for sharing your thoughts.                                    Anniep59

Barbara, Thank you so much for sharing this with all of us. I read your post several times. It really did help me today. Thank you.

Thank you! Sometimes I worry a bit when I put up one of my reflective posts.

I'm glad it helped.

Barb