feelings hurt

sorry- i just need to vent to someone . evidently my boss told her husband ( who also works with us) that i was trying to get approved for the lap band. i have not told anyone but my boss , my mom, and my children & hubby. i specifically told her not to tell anyone because i may not get approved and this is something private for me. im sitting here eating a burger my mom made for me and some chips. he made a comment out loud that if i keep eating like this , i will get bigger. he then said i didnt need " no damn lap band". he could put me on a diet and i wouldnt need it.  mind you , he said this in front of my coworker ( who does NOT know) and i am so hurt & humiliated. im getting ready to chew my boss out. i said nothing to her husband because i didnt want my coworker hearing anything else.  he then talked about people who he knows have died from WLS. argggh i dont know whetther to spit fire or crawl up in a corner and cry i just called my boss and cried.. she apologized ...blah blah blah thanks so much for listening

I am sorry that this happened to you. Sometimes people can be so mean and cold. Tell them it is none of their business, they don't matter. I hope your day gets better, and may this help a little too, Danielle

((((((((((((((((((((Melissa)))))))))))))))))))))  I am so sorry. That would have hurt my feelings also.   Not that you NEED to defend yourself ever, b/c honestly it is NONE of anyone else's business, but next time he metnions all the people dying b/c of WLS, come back him with all the MANY success stories you have heard about. Also, about how some people die b/c they DIDN'T do something like WLS.  Again, there is no reason you need to defend yourself, but it really makes me ill when people make assumptions about something they know NOTHING about. Again, I'm sorry your feelings were hurt.

I'm mad about it and I don't even know these people. Tell him to eat terd and howl at the moon. I'm getting to be more and more anti-social with every passing birthday.  Hope your day gets better. Don't shed any tears over these folks. - Iris

How dare she!  That was completely un-ethical of your boss to mention your private matter to her husband.  If she can't be respectful of you and what you ask to keep private, then maybe she shouldn't be in that position!  Urgh!  It's one thing to discuss issues, but you specifically asked her to keep it private, so her talking to him about it was pure gossip.  You have a right to be upset.  Know that we're all thinking about you and sending hugs!

People make me crazy because many are very very ignorant!!!! Yes some people can die from wls but many more can die from co morbiditys from being obese.                                        Annie Cheer up GF you have choosen to save your life

I dont know how close you are to your boss but this is almost an HR issue. Your boss had no right to spill your medical information on to another co-worker, husband or not.  You need to make it CLEAR to your boss that you will NOT tolerate her husband saying ANYTHING else to you relating to weight, eating, lapband etc. Even if you didnt ask your boss to say anything and she told her hubby with your blessing he himself had ZERO right to judge your decision or say anything about your weight or your diet.... would he just walk up to another co-worker and comment on what they were eating?  Spit fire girl, spit fire. 

Hey.. Melissa... I think we can all relate to how insensitive and rude some people can be.  I wish I could tell you that this would be the only time you would need to vent about the whole WLS process, but alas, there are MANY more of those type of people who want to shoot you down just waiting to say things that will tick you off. It's hard to do (especially for us "fat girls") but I recommend developing a thick skin.  Once you do have your WLS and start getting skinny you will hear more rude and insensitive comments.   Come here and vent any old time.  :)  We can totally relate to how you feel.  I got sick off of my lunch today..  one of our APs walked into the bathroom while I was sick and made the comment that I had "not had surgery.. I must be bulemic.."  WHATEVER. 

Melissa - I hate that this happened to you.  His remarks just show his lack of intelligence.  How low class can that act go......... Just remember what comedian Ron White says "You can't fix stupid".   We can have wls, we can have plastic surgery, but there is no surgery to fix stupid.   People are going to talk and we have to learn to rise above their remarks.  And just think what a miseralble life your boss must have being married to this Moron.  lol

When I am told I could die from having the WLS I like to say I have a bigger chance of dying without it. And then I just change the subject.
Legally your boss and her husband could be fired for her telling him and for what he is saying to you. Depends on how far you want to pu**** But I definitely would be cautious since I am sure your insurance depends on you staying employed at your job. So if he doesn't change his attitude than I would get the surgery and then take the carefully documented instances of what he says with names and dates to HR. I could never allow him to get away with it since he would do that to others as well. Sorry for being so opinionated but geez he's a jerk and a half.