totally stressed

My mom has fallen 4 times this weekend. Once when I was with her yesterday. I knew when she fell there was no way I could get her up so I pressed her panic button to alert the security that is available where she lives. A man came to help and a nurse. With the two of them they still were unable to get her up and I had to help. Finally we got her up. Mother has gotten very obese the past few months and her physical condition is failing big time. For the first time since my surgery the thought poped in my head and that was I JUST WANT TO PIG OUT. Physically I cant even if I want to so that is a blessing in itself. With all this with my mom going on I am stressed to the max and I can see how in my past food played a role in that. The family is working together in getting round the clock care for her. This morning when she called me and said she fell again I took control and contacted a friend who is a sitter. My friend came right away and is with mother till the night nurse comes at 8pm tonight. As for the royal dinner it has been rescheduled till Wednesday. I just pray I can deal with seeing my mothers health fail so fast it is very heart breaking. My sister and I both agree we have to keep active for as long as possible. Mother cant even fit in her walker seat any more because of her obesity. So here it is staring me in the face and seeing first hand what difficultys come with being elderly and obese.                                  Annie

I am so sorry to hear that Annie.  It must be very very difficult.  I am lucky my parents are both in their late 70's and in pretty good physical shape.  My dad has had bypass surgery and is diabetic but is almost to the point about being obsessive.  He is very active.  They lived in FL until a few years ago when all the hurricane**** and dad was having med probs and my mother wouldn't drive.  My older sister in MI and I convinced them to sell their house and come live with one of us.  They live with her most of the time and spend a few months with us in the winter.    Can your mom get a larger walker seat?  How is she getting the food to gain wt?   Is she able to shop for herself?   My thoughts and prayers are with you my friend. Take care and God bless you, Pam

We just got back from mothers this was the second time today. My friend called and said please come she fell twice while she was with her today. Mother did not want Pat to press the panic button. So I told her I am on my way and I am pressing the button period. Mother has her dinner delivered to her and picks out what she wants from a menue each day. I think the weight gain is mainly because she is unable to be active. Lee came up with the idea of getting her wheelchair for her to transport in from rooom to room. She just got a scooter but we think an electric wheelchair would be much better. Nothing can prepare you for seeing an elderly parent fail right before your eyes. I am so grateful Pat was able to go be with her today. Pat gave her a massage with some Ben Gay and I could tell that was very comforting to mother. Thank you all for the hugs and concerns.                                           Annie

Oh Annie,
I just wanted to send you a big hug. I will be praying for you and your family.

Watching them fall or being on the ground has got to feel so helpless.   How old is your mom?    She is so fortunate that she hasn't broken anything with the falls.   Is this a new thing for her?   Is something else going on with her health such as dizziness? You may want the doc to check her out. Take care and let us know if anything we can do for you.  Pam

Mother is 78 and is an alcoholic. She has broken her hip before because of falling. When I arrived yesterday there she was drinking her wine and made me hide the darn bottle before security got there. Sorry for airing dirty laundry on here.                                     Annie

That addiction is an illness just like any other and you can't fix her if she doesn't want to be fixed.   Saying that, I understand how difficult it must be to watch her hurt herself even more.  You keep up your rigorous exercise program to keep your stress at bay.  You are a very strong awesome woman and you can do anything you put your mind too....you have already proven that to yourself and anyone in contact with you.   My thoughts and prayers are with you my friend! Pam

Thanks Pam for your kind words. My sister took mother to Duke today and found out she broke two toes during her fall yesterday. Looks like mother may have to use a wheelchair more and more. I look forward to seeing you in July.                    Annie

Annie, I am very sorry to hear about your Mom's poor health.  My mother is in the same boat.  She is only 60 years old, but she is obese and has diabetes, high cholesterol, some heart disease we think, and problems with her joints and her back along with depression issues.  I begged her to look into WLS when I was looking into it and right after I had it but she insisted that she was too old.  I hate seeing what she is doing to herself but I am powerless to stop it.  So I truly can imagine the pain you are experiencing seeing your Mom go thru this too.  No matter how aggravated they can make us sometimes, they are still our Moms and unfortunately we can't fix them. There's nothing we can do for them except love them unconditionally.  I will keep you and your Mom in my thoughts and prayers. Hugs, Donna

Annie, I'm sorry to hear about your Mother, I know first hand how hard it is to care for someone.  I moved here in 2000 to help my Mom and my Aunt take care of my Grandma.  It was a lot of work and there were 3 of us to cover the 24 hour shift.  It was a lot of work.  Anyway, I hope you're able to find someone trustworthy quickly and with very few problems.   I am glad you were able to what stress plays a role in weight gain and you can keep on track through it all.  I wish I could help in some way, but I will keep your Mom and your family in my prayers..  Keep us posted please! Hugs, Sheryl