Jumped thru all the hoops

Hi guys, I haven't been here much lately.  I have finished all the appointments that I had to go to.  I am waiting to hear from Dr. Naziri's office.  I assume that they are compiling and sending in the paperwork for insurance approval.  Cardiologist said I passed all the cardio tests which was a relief.  Lung people said I did good so I took that to mean my lungs are fine.  I must say that I didn't really like the psych person - she and I did not connect at all.   I am still confused about all of this and what I should do.  I initially said I wanted to RNY but now I am not so sure, maybe the lapband would be better for me - less invasive and no dumping....but then again if I am going to do this I may as well do the RNY .....right????  See I am confused!  I have been overweight all my life - and I am scared!  I am sure I can screw this up too.  The psych lady made me feel like maybe I shouldn't try this.  I just don't know.  Not only do I have a lifetime of bad habits to change - but I also have the cravings (something sweet usually) that I always end up giving into because I feel like I have no other choice.  I have a friend who had RNY last year and he said his cravings went away.  He said there is no way I can fail.  That if I eat too much or eat the wrong foods I will get sick - so I will learn pretty quick not to do that.  I dunno.  Also I do not seem to be able to get really excited about this yet - I am scared to get hopeful.  Anyway - any adivce??  

I cannot answer which surgery is right for you - I can tell you that you should decide prior to sending to insurance because each surgery has its own set of requirements - once they approve you for one, you may have to resubmit if you change you mind and want another. depending on your insurance. I will tell you what I know about the RNY surgery.... RNY but now I am not so sure, maybe the lapband would be better for me - less invasive and no dumping....but then again if I am going to do this I may as well do the RNY .....right????  See I am  Not all RNYers dump - the majority do not... only around 40% of people dump. If somebody does dump its off different amounts of sugar... some things people are ok with others arnt. Personally I do not dump, I tolerate sugar just fine. I have a friend who had RNY last year and he said his cravings went away.  He said there is no way I can fail.  That if I eat too much or eat the wrong foods I will get sick - so I will learn pretty quick not to do that. Hunger/cravings can return at any time, or never return at all, for some they NEVER go away. You cannot rely on on not having cravings for the rest of your life, you HAVE to change your relationship to food. People have failed at this surgery for various reasions... any of the WLS surgeries you can fail at. If you eat the 'wrong foods' you very well may NOT get sick. I tolerate everything. If you eat too much you also may not get sick - its not comfortable to overeat but it doesnt meal you will be sick. I have never thrown up from this surgery. Any of these surgeries are *only* a tool, you cannot rely on POSSIBLE side effects of the surgeriers to deter behaviors - the surgery will help with the physical side, but the mental side is all up to you. As for choosing - did the surgeon lean towards one surgery more than another? Have you disccussed that you are 'on the fence' with him to get their opinion? Sometimes they can suggest one over another, othertimes they cant.

Thanks for your reply Jennifer.  Dr. Naziri thought I should do the RNY, he said he usually only recommends the lap band if you are wanting to get pregnant after surgery and my childbearing days are definately over LOL.  I guess I am just scared at failing agin - like I have on ever diet I have ever tried.

When I first started my journey I was convinced that I would have the LapBand.  However, after research and listening to other patients, I decided to go with the RNY.  I just think that whatever surgery you choose it is an individual choice.  You have to decide what will better suit your lifestyle.  I chose RNY over LapBand because I am afraid of needles and I dont want to have to go every so often for a fill.  I live 2 hours away from my surgeon, so that would be a drive every 6-8 weeks or so.   I think we all have some amount of apprehension going into this.  We have all tried so many diets that failed us, that the idea of another failure is crushing.  However, I am here to say that if you play by the rules, this will work for you too!   As for cravings.. mine have not completely gone away.. but they have gotten much much better.  Most of the reasons we eat is mental.  Jenn is right.. you have to conquer that part.  I tend to think that men are not as emotional about eating as we are.. so I can see why your friend would say that.  But hey.. I am almost 9 months out and I still have the craving for stuff that I know will make me sick.   Keep you chin up and perservere!  

Thanks for your encouraging words.  I guess I am just freaking right now and it will pass and I will become rational again ..... I hope LOL

Lizzie -

As Jennifer and Jennifer have pointed out this is such a personal decision. I understand your quandry, but as they both pointed out, you really need to view whichever surgery you choose as a tool. With the RNY you just about can't mess up the initial weight loss. You'll lose no matter what you do or don't do ... you may not lose to your 'potential', but you'll lose ... However, I think we've all lost before ... some more than others, but it's keeping it off that's the real longterm issue. You really need to come to terms with the fact that as Jennifer and Jennifer said, this is just a tool. You'll need to employ several other 'tools' to make this successful in the long term ... You'll need to get your 'head' around how, when and why you eat so that you can make better choices as you move forward. It is possible to regain the weight if you don't make some serious behaviour changes. You need to make a commitment to 'exercise' ... in whatever form ... you'll lose the initial weight without it, but again, you may not lose to your potential and you'll have a much harder time keeping it off, if you don't exercise.

Please don't let this daunt you... I'm  the premier coach potato queen ... I have never 'liked' exercising and have always felt like I was born without any grace or coordination, but I have tell you that I move better and easier than I ever have and I'm learning to find 'active' activities that allow me to do things I enjoy and get 'exercise' as a bonus ... Re: making changes in your behaviours and eating patterns. This is something that really worried me, but I have found that while I don't always make the 'best' choice, I make much better choices, much more often now ... and I think about it. I didn't do that before ... I bought a book and workbook called the "Beck Diet Solution" ... They aren't a diet, but a program you use to try to retrain your thought patterns so you can 'think thin.' It's been a big help to me. Both the exercise and the food issues/choices come from a very different place for me now than they did a scant year ago ... I just don't look at things the same way as I used to. I think that hey last thing that has been very important for me is support ... here on OH, at my program and other support groups I've started and joined.

Good luck as you ponder your choices and decisions.

Barb

Thanks Barbara - I am beginning to exercise some.  I started a walking club at work.  Right now I can only walk for about 20 minutes before my leg goes numb - but I am doing what I can.  I am trying hard to get in the right frame of mind - and have a positive I can do attitude.  I have been thru some very hard things in my life so I know that I can do this but.... I guess I am just worried, ya know?

I am only 6 weeks post surgery so i can't speak from the experience these other ladies have.  I do know that I have not felt physically hungry since i had the surgery (but i am still in the early stages) but I do feel head hungry when i am bored or stressed out.    The remarkable thing is i NEVER knew the difference before.  When the head hunger hits, i talk to myself and tell it to go away and it usually passes if i get myself busy with something else.   One bad habit I did go back to in the last few weeks is cigarettes which i had quit months before my surgery.   That to I am working on....before i become a full blown smoker.    As far as what surgery is better for you..i definitely think that is a decision you need to discuss with your doctor.  I had almost 200 lbs to lose so my doc recommended the RNY.  I also didn't want to have a port, etc. that i have heard about.   From what i have heard, wt loss is also slower with the lapband.   Five years out i believe the statistics are about the same for taking the wt off and the percentage kept off. By all means, share your concerns with your doctor as this is a life changing experience and you need to be in the right state of mind. Take care and good luck on your decision. Pam

I quit smoking in June and relapsed yesterday   I guess I am feeling that if I cant stay off cigs how can I manage after this surgery.... I just need to find a more positive place and a can do attitude and I am sure I will eventually.  Thanks for listening to my whining.

Just stick around here more and read the board.....these women are totally amazing and you can't help to get some of that rubbed off.

take care, Pam