Ramblings and more ramblings...

Okay.. so life is not always a bowl of cherries because you are skinny.  Isnt it funny how we always assumed (when we were all fat girls) that the skinny girls had a life so much better.  Well funny enough, problems still exist.  I even think that sometimes problems also manifest as a result of being skinnier. 

I am 13 pounds below goal.  I emailed my nutritionist and she wants me eating 1500 calories per day.  Right now I am still below 1000.  I just cannot see how I can eat that much.  I would have to eat all day long.  Anyway.. if you guys have some insight into that, please let me know.  She wants to see me eat 25% protien, 25% fat and 50 % carbs.  GEEZ!  Calgon TAKE ME AWAY!

Also.. relationships.  GOOD GRIEF.  I have not disclosed this to many, but I just wonder how many of you have seen a strain on your marriage during this time?  I always assumed that my DH would love me more or be more attracted to me if I were thin.  That does not seem to be the case.  I would love to have your input on any changed relationships too.. *sigh*  PM or email me at [email protected] if you want.  :) 

I always value your input guys.  I know I have been MIA for a little while, but I am back.  I sure did miss you all and you were in my thoughts and prayers. 

 

 

 

 

I got my metabolism test done and found I was undereating - like you I was around 1000 calories a day.... I am working on eating 1400 right now and will go up from there. My breakdown is protein 30%, fat 30%, carbs 40%. I think your carbs are very high and protein low - is that just a shortterm plan from your NUT to stop further weightloss? Typically the carbs are upped in order to slow/stop weight loss... my NUT told me originally to slowly start upping carbs and when the weightloss stopped stick there. I never got to that phase instead opting for the metabolism test. Basically you have to eat like a pig and walk around feeling stuffed all day. You will be sick of eating and sick of food and want to go on strike. Let me say this is only my SECOND week of the additional calories so I am a wee bit cranky if you couldnt tell. I now eat daily 3 meals and 2 snacks, if not a 3rd snack. Ive had to up the amount I was eating at breakfast because that was my smallest meal of the day - I found I was loading up on the food at night because I was playing 'catch up'. I made some higher calorie/fat switches to up my intake - low fat instead of fat free, or regular versions of things... I added more nuts/nut butters into my eating as well as added more LF cheeses in. Ive also had to make my snacks bigger. Previously my snacks were... well snack sized - 1/2 cup of cottage cheese -or- 1/2 an apple w/pnut butter -or- a bag of spongebob edamame -or- 2oz deli turkey, maybe a slice of cheese.... now my snack is 1/2 a cup of cottage cheese AND 1/2 an apple w/pnut butter.... -or- 2 oz deli turkey, slice of cheese AND edamame..... its almost like 5-6 small meals instead of meals/snacks because of the portion sizes. I havent gotten it all figured out yet, but its work... its hard to up the calories in a healthy way because healthy food isnt 'bad' or loaded with cal/carbs/fat etc... if I went and ate some junk I could easily meet the requirement but we all know thats not the way to go! Im glad somebody else is in my boat now so maybe we can figure this out together!

Mercy.. I am glad that I am not alone Jennifer.  I have felt like I have been eating all morning long.  I am already sick of eating.  We went to the Mercy support group (my sister and I) last week and she thinks I have PSEAD (post surgical eating avoidance disorder).  I dont think that is the case at all.  I think that physically I just cannot eat at all.  It sucks some days.  Anyway.. lets do figure this out togehter.  I need all the help I can get!

Never heard of PSEAD... amazing. Wouldnt that be anexoria? Maybe they just came up with a fancy term instead for us post-WLSers. I look at it like this - you are still in the 'learning process' phase. I think once you hit goal it takes 6 months to 1 year to really get all this figured out - it doesnt come overnight. You are completely relearning how to eat and that takes time.  Sure there are days we all dont want to eat because its a pain in the butt and is frustrating. Physically is it hard to keep eating all this food -  I know I feel like I dont need to be eating, Im not hungry etc but my metabolism test says otherwise ya know? I dont want to start gaining or get hungry from not eating enough... basically Im going against what I feel my body is saying by eating, even thou it really needs it.  Plus for however long youve been eating 'so little'... to jump 500 calories is HUGE.. thats a lot of food... like I said above if you added junk it would be easy but 500 *healthy* calories isnt. Theres also the mental aspect of seeing these bigger portions and eating more often... the fear of regaining from overeating etc... its hard to get out of the 'diet' mentality that weve all been in most of our lives. Either way, keep hanging in there... its time for me to freakin eat my lunch now and I am still 'full' from my snack! :-)

I don't have much to say on the eating part ( I am only 7 months out and still losing); however, I will comment on relationships.  About 4 months out from surgury I noticed my husband being really quiet and distant.  I kept asking him what was wrong and he would say nothing.  A friend of mine told me that my husband was scared that I was going to lose all my weight and then leave him.  So one night I plainly asked my husband, "On a scale from 1 to 10 how scared are you that I am going to lose my weight and leave you".  He answered a 9.  That got us to talking and he admitted to me that he was really struggling seeing me change so much everyday.  ( I got my hair cut short, and my nails manicured, and of course all new clothes).  I didn't see the change like he did.  He told me that he married a large woman and he never has seen me thin. He really had a hard time and is still adjusting.  Especially now that I am almost at my hundred pound mark and he is seeing other men give me attention.   My psych doctor said that my husbands reaction/feelings is actually very common.  I am just keeping the communication open between us and making sure he is getting the attention he deserves.  Things are a lot better now.  I would love to hear more about your situation.  Please stay in touch.  Donna

The problems I am having started well before surgery.  I think that me having surgery has just intensified problems that have been there all along.  I just thought that surgery would help my issues, but it has not.  I know.. this is not a fix all.. but I thought it would at least allow my husband to see me in a different light.  That has not been the case at all.  I guess my biggest fear is that if our marriage ends at this point in time people with think it was because I got "skinny".   Email me at [email protected] any time!  

Jenn, I just want to give you a big squeeze.  I am so sorry things are not going well in your marriage.  I have read a few times that WLS makes good marriages stronger and bad marriages worse.  Mine so far has not changed much - but my DH is always saying that he doesn't want me to lose more weight and I would really like to lose about 20 more.  I think you hit it on the head that when we are big, we blame all of the bad times and feelings on that and are convinced that it would be much better skinny.  Take care of yourself!  You are a strong, smart, funny, beautiful woman so stay true to yourself and everything will work out as it should.  And - I, of course, am up for a Charlotte playdate - with or without the kids.  When it gets warmer, you guys can come to the lake and swim/boat - and of course shopping!  Just let me know when/where.  Baseball season has started for us, so life os now CRAZY.

((((Jennifer)))),

I'm so sorry to hear that you are experiencing difficulties ... I do believe that the changes we go through during the metamorphosis can exaserbate any issues that were already there.

Re: intake. Unlike you, I'm still about 10-12 lbs above what my Dr. considers my ideal weight to be ... with that said, I'm wearing a pair of size 6 Banana Republic pants that are little big and I don't really think I want to be a size 4 or 2 ... which is where I think I would land if I lost the extra weight. So, I've been uping my carbs and fats. My breakdown is pretty similar to Jennifer's and like the two of you, I find that I'm eating 'all the time' to get in my 1500 calories a day. As Jennifer mentioned, I seem to actually have about 5 small meals a day, instead of 3 meals and a couple of snacks to get in the calories.

Hugs,

Barb

Jenn
I just wanted to let you know that if you ever need to talk you can email me in private about ANYTHING you want to talk about. Even though we have not had a chance to meet yet (someday soon I hope!) I feel you are a dear friend, always around to cheer me on and I want to make sure you feel the same support from me. So if you ever need to talk just drop me a pm and Ill send you my email address.

((((((Jenn))))))

Darcie