Why do people need to scare you and run you down?

I posted this on the main board too, but my favorite board is here so I'm posting it here as well:

I can't count how many times I've had people tell me all about people that have had gastric bypass and "gained all the weight back." I've lost over 90 pounds and you'd think people would be supportive and happy. Even strangers like store clerks, if I mention I'm unsure on size and why, mention all about someone they know or have heard about who gained all the weight back. I actually had one clerk say to me that maybe I didn't want to buy small sizes and definitely not to get rid of my old clothes for when I "get fat again!"

Why do people need to be so mean?

I dont think they do it to be mean.... and its a real fact that many people do gain weight back. You see the news - Carnie gained weight, somebody mentioned Al Roker and Randy Jackson had gained some, Roseanne Barr gained some back... so far Star Jones is holding steady but she made news about being looking like a bobble head because she was so thin. Based on what the media shows and what happens to some people I can see why people would think we gain weight back. Also I think that people who have surgery and are successful at keeping it off get to a point where they really dont talk about their WLS any more - they just become a 'normal' person. Im sure there are many normal sized people that all those people know and they just dont know they lost weight thru WLS or met them post-WLS. Ive heard so many times 'oh you dont look like you were ever overweight'... *shrug* not everybody knew me when I was obese. Plus WLS has changed a lot in the past 5-10 years... surgeons (well, most) now know the importance of follow up care, support groups, suppliments, nutritional education etc. They now realize people not only need surgical help, but mental help as well. As time as passed there are more resources available to WLS patients to not only help them thru the process, but help them maintain the loss - years ago most people didnt have anything - they had surgery and were sent on their merry way. *shrug* just my view on it... everybody knows somebody who did something and it didnt work ya know?

As usual Jen is sooo right. I really don't think that most people mean to mean. They are just sharing the 'bad news' that they are aware of. While we have a much better chance at keeping the weight off than then general population when they lose weight any other way, regain is a real issue. It's considered 'normal' to regain about 10% of what you lose. It's not uncommon for people to do that and/or more because eventually, if they haven't changed those years old, ingrained lifestyle habits, they and/or we can go back to those eating habits that will put some if not all of it back on.

I acknowledge this and just know that I'll always have to 'work' at keeping my weight in the normal range.

I'm sorry that you feel bad when people make those comments, but just think of it as a way to maintain your resolve to maintain your loss ... or in our case win!

Barb

Jen, I just lover reading your post. You are sooooooo awesome.............  BTW, I went to Trader Joes and bought the buffalo burgers. Haven't tried them yet but they look really good..... They told me that they had discontinued them but are back due to popular demand........ Whooooooooo hooooooooooooo

I agree with you all and the amount of people who know success stories are not as likely to share the good news.   I agree they probably aren't trying to be mean but are just born pessimist!  We will just have to keep supporting each other and prove them all wrong! Take care and keep your chin up! Pam

I think people are being mean.  But then again, I have this "feeling" ingraved in my mind so deep because lets face it...we were treated badly when we weighed more and now we are getting some of the same treatment.  I honestly think as a society that any weight issue to talk about is taboo.  If you talk to someone about loosing weight...they get mad.  if you talk to them about the possibility of regaining the weight if you don't eat right and follow a diet plan... they get mad.  Is it mean..  of course it is.  We just have to decide to either look over their hurtful words or let them bring us down.   The main thing is to know yourself.  Don't let mean people dampen your amazing spirit.  Buy those small clothes...  get rid of those "fat clothes".  ENJOY YOUR NOW!!  No one else will but you! Keep it all relative to what is best for you.  Hang in there! Connie

Hey Connie, I love your answer to this!!  I just had my surgery 3-10-08 and like alot of others some ppl just want to tell you the bad stuff. I have one friend whom I dearly love but she talks about just the bad so I haven't been answering the phone .  I find its better that way . But you just seem like a really upbeat person and I like your phrase "enjoy your now"!!  Thanks!  Angela

You are Welcome Angela...   !   I am very happy about my life right now...so yep...  I am enjoying my NOW!     ENJOY YOURS TOO!!