Family support??

Is your family supportive of your weight loss surgery? Mine is not. My hubby has gone with me for tests and appointments but he is not a happy camper. My three grown sons don't support me either. They all think I'm having surgery because of vanity and truthfully that is a small part of the reason for wanting the surgery but the majority of the reason is that I want to live to see any grandchildren that come along. I want to be healthy. It's so frustrating. Pink

It took my family quite few months from the time I started talking about it til they actually began to warm up to the idea. They were scared for me and didn't like the fact that I was chosing to have major surgery, but in the end they supported me and stuck by me.

Give them some more time, I just bet they will come around too.

{{Hugs}}

Hang in there and do what is right for you. Stick to your guns and barrel through if you have to. Everyone here is so supportive and for some people, this forum is all they have. My family did not support me either and my husband (seperated) even tried to drop me off his insurance to keep me from getting it!. My mom tried to talk me out of it up until they rolled me out of the room into surgery. Needless to say, I had the surgery and everyone is very happy for me now! I think FEAR was the reason for lack of support. Now that I'm okay and made it through with no problems the fam is behind me 100%. They now cheer me on and compliment my progress. Maybe if your family talks to people who have gone through surgery or even reads some forums, they might feel better. Just keep in mind that their love for you is why they are scared!!!  Robin

Pink,   I am sorry to hear that! Just hang in there, I'm with Holley, they will come around. My mom was supportive to begin withm but my dad was scared, but once I talked to him and showed him that I wanted this not just for me, but for my family as well, he came around, and he is more excited than I am!! Once they see that this is something you want for them, they will realize that this will make you happy. Give them time, they will have to get use to the fact. I think a big part is they are scared for you, but keep them educated, and make sure they know all the real reasons that you want this. Keep your head up, it will get better. Have a good day! Danielle

Helen -

While my family was generally supportive, I could not have said it better than Robin. Do what you need to do. They will come around. My mother was scared to death and now is not only one of my biggest supporters, but is even thinking of having the LapBand ... she's not eligible for the RNY because of some health complications. My niece and her family were also skeptical and are now considering it as an option for her. As Robin said, I think that fear is a huge factor. Also if someone hasn't really struggled with morbid obesity, it's honestly hard for them to fathom just how difficult it can be to live with the obesity and repeatedly try and fail to rid yourself of it.

Hang in there,

Barb

Pink, Maybe if you explained to your family there are much higher risk for health problems by remaining obese. Sometimes we just have to follow our desires and it sounds like to me yours is to be healthier.                                              Annie

My Fiance' is very supportive beacuse he has been there for the last year seeing me struggle and suffer with High blood pressure of the brain (Pseudotumor cerebri) and how much pain I really am in. My family however, does not they think that I don't understand the risk, the change, and that I am too young to do this etc.... I think my mother is honestly just mad she is also morbidly obese and we don't have the best relationship.   My freinds think I am going to the extreme and that I am a "loser" for not "just go out and walk like the rest of the world  who  wants to loose weight" well I have for my WHOLE LIFE and struggled like hell to beat the weight....  They don't understand and it sucks. I am just glad I can come here and talk to people who do understand and who do "get it". I know your frustration but hang in there because at least you know why you need this and you know that you can do it even if others don't think so.

 

:)Meagan

Pink, I am so sorry you are having to deal with a lack of support.  It must be so stressful.  I hope you will look to this board for support until your family comes around (and even afterwards). My dad had WLS 2 years ago and he's been obese since he was a teenager and morbidly obese as long as I can remember.  Despite his lifelong struggle, there were many people who did not support his decision.  They said," Can't you just eat less by yourself without the surgery?"  My mom was even skeptical at first, but like the other posts have said I think it was fear.  If you could see him now.  Everyone is so proud and supportive now that he's lost weight and is healthier. I have to admit that my husband is even a little scared (more than he's letting on, I suspect), but he said it's my decision and he wants me to be happy.  I did have to sit him down and talk to him about my weight and the struggles it causes me on the inside.  I explained to him that my BMI is over 40 and I was in the same category as my dad was when he had his surgery.  The problem was when he looks at me he doesn't see a fat woman.  He sees his wife.  I know that's not really a problem, but it was blinding him from understanding my needs.  Since we've had that conversation, he's been behind me 100%.  Although, like I said, I think he's still a little scared of me having surgery, but I think that would be true no matter what the surgery involved. I hope your family will come around and begin to understand that sometimes doing something for yourself isn't as selfish as they might think it is.  Good luck! Amanda

Hey Pink: While my husband and a lot of my friends were very supportive (they said they knew i'd do what i wanted to do anyway) my son, daughter and a friend were not.    They all voiced their opinion and were worried i would die.   My son is in college and I made him read some of the post here.  He then informed me he supported whatever decision i made but that he didn't agree with it and was scared to death.   Since i am about 3 weeks post, they have all been very supportive.   Like everyone else has said, fear comes out in different people in different ways. Just remember you have got us all there to support you! Take care and good luck, Pam