very bad week and it just started

I guess I am in need of some reassuring. I am 2 wks post -op yesterday. I have lost 20 lbs so far post-op and I know that is nothing to sneeze at but I feel awful. I am so tired and just want to sleep. My husband brought home the smallest child this past weekend. He has pretty much been at grandma's since surgery except for a short visit last Sun nite - Tues morn. As soon as he got home with him , my DH found out he had to go to Charlotte and work all this week . So here I am at home alone with all 3 boys. I don't know if they are wearing me out or if I am trying to catch this stomach thing going around. I also am very depressed and having a hard time overcoming this addiction to food. I assume that's what it is. I have never wanted things to eat so bad in my life. I am not hungry but I have shed a tear or 2 for some garlic bread or some pizza. When does this get better? Does it get better? I am really concerned. I know this was the right thing for me but I also have asked myself a time or 2 , wth did i do to myself. My clothes all still fit the same and I have no extra energy. I am drinking 23 proteins in am and 42 in the afternoon. The doctor's office said I can move to soft foods on Thursday and  I can't wait. Will that ease the painful memories of food gone by? I just don't know. Also I can't seem to quench my thirst. I am constantly thirsty. And if I take to big a gulp of water it hurts in my chest area. Kinda like soda used to when you drank too much at once. Sorry to be winded but I am really depressed these days. Anyways thanks for listening I know that this too shall pass ....... but when?!??!? Melissa

The fatigue is normal, it's part of the ketosis. We all mourned the loss of our food.  I'm 2 years post opt and still mourn. I wish there was a way I could help you, but I'm here to listen.  Being 2 years post op is a great feate.  You will overcome thing and many other obstacles.

It is extremely common to have post surgery depression.  It usually happens anywhere from 2-6 weeks post op.  Mine lasted for 2 weeks, with 2 additional weeks of "recovery" time.  It is a combination of the Ketosis, as stated above, and your body's general reaction to such a severe reduction in food intake and calories.  It is extremely common in third world countries, when famine strikes, your body naturally depresses itself to conserve what energy it has.  It just takes a few weeks for your body to realize that it isn't going to die from lack of food, plus you will begin to get more calories in a few weeks, then you will rebound. During this time, rest, walk when you can, keep sipping what you can, and be patient with yourself.  It will pass, I promise. Take care and keep us posted. Ellen

Sorry to hear you're having such a rough time.  The fatigue should get better soon.  I'm a single mom to a very energetic 4 year old and it was hard the first few weeks.  My parents went back to Texas a week after surgery and I went back to work.  Those were some exhausting days but it does get better.  I'm 9 weeks post-op now and down 46lbs.  My energy level is fantastic.  I really haven't had a lot of problem with food addition.  I do crave things a little but not so much that it affects my whole mood.  I think once you start seeing a change in how your clothes fit, it will be an incredible boost for you.  Just hang in there and know that we're all here for you when things get tough. Christy

Hey there, Melissa, It must be frustrating to feel fatigue but be stuck at home with all three boys.  If only we could harness our kids' energies for good instead of evil!   My granddaughter usually lives with me most of the week, but since I had surgery, she's just  a little too much for me to handle.  Even though I'm experiencing increased energy intensity, my endurance isn't back up to snuff yet.   Wish there were a way to package up some of her energy and share it.  If only! I remember someone (was it Barb?) mentioning in another thread that it's difficult for our bodies to process large amounts of protein at once and that the excess is excreted.  Are you taking 42g of protein ihe afternoon too quickly, perhaps, or are you spreading it out over afternoon and evening? Hurray for soft foods!  It's funny how that becomes a big milestone, just like we were babies all over again.  "She really seems to love strained peas!"  We grow up so fast.

((((Melissa)))),

This too shall pass and I PROMISE it truly gets better, much better. I had meltdowns at 10 days and about 4 weeks! It soooo normal! I wondered what @#$% I had done to myself. Now, I'm sooooo glad I did and I would do it again ... kind of like childbirth ... but it was me being reborn.

The fatigue that you are dealing with is very normal. While there are some that don't have issues with it, it's very common to really struggle with the fatigue. As the others before me have said, it's due in large part to the ketosis and severe reduction in calories, coupled with the fact that your body has been severely injured ... albeit, on purpose, it's recovering from serious 'injuries'. The good news is that you will continue to gain strength and stamina. You will start injesting more calories and that will help too.

It's really normal to have issues with the food demons. Some wrestle more than others, but we all wrestle. The hard thing and saving grace here is that you can't give up. You have to move forward. While it's really hard to not have the food to comfort yourself with, it's also a good time to start finding other ways to comfort yourself. Start doing things for yourself. Call a friend. Take a shower. Go for a walk on the beach ... I wish I lived close to the beach like you do ;-). I know it sounds simple enough, but I'm serious. Get out there and do it. I also know you are tired, but still do some things to help yourself feel good that don't involve food. If feeding the kids is too hard right now, get your husband to help you put together some quick fix meals before he leaves.

I know from personal experience that depression is a mean thing. You need to work hard to manage it and beat it back ... believe me, when I say I understand ... You can read my profile more details, but suffice it to say that I'm thoroughly versed in issues surrounding SEVERE clinical depression ... I know this may sound trite or futile, but try getting a notebook or journal and writing down your reasons for doing this. Then, look at that everytime you are having a hard time. Also, every morning and every evening write down 5 things you are grateful for ... you may have repeats from morning to evening or day to day, that's okay ... they may not have anything to do with WLS ... it might just be that you got through the day or one of your boys gave you a smile, but I promise it will help.

I know that you are not 'seeing' the results yet. In part, that's because it takes a while for our heads to catch up to the reality. I know it seems like you are changing sizes yet; in part, it takes a lot more weight to change sizes when you are bigger. Believe it or not, only 5 lbs can make a size differnce for me now, but when you are heavier, it can take 25 or 30 lbs. Also, you may not be 'aware' of the changes that are occuring. If you haven't already taken measurements, please do it this week. Get your husband, one of your son's or a friend to help you. Go to www.thinnerself.com and plug in your numbers. Do it once a month ... you'll be amazed at the totals! It will really help you get your head around the reality of what's happening.

As Kim mentioned, there are a lot of studies that indicate that we can't process more than about 25 - 30 grams of protien at time, so if you are taking 40+ at one time, your body probably isn't processing all of it and what doesn't get processed, just gets flushed down the toilet.

Be gentle with yourself on one hand and tough on the other ... That means take it easy ... You are expecting a lot of yourself, it will come ... it also means, you need WORK on the depression and food issues. While the surgery gives us the mechanical tool, we have a bunch of head work we have to do to get through the massive changes that we are undergoing early postop and the lifelong changes we need to make so that we never see that lost weight again.

If you can, see about if your local Barnes and Noble or Borders has the "Beck Diet Solution" workbook and book. Get them. They will hold you in very good stead. They will require some work on your part, but you will really benefit from them.

If I lived nearby, I'd come over, put my arms around you and give you a hug.

Hang in there sweetie. It's going to get better and you will survive it.

Barb

Hi Barb,  I love reading your post, so inspiring. When I begin to doubt this journey and feel alone I log on and read everyone's post. I'm not a writer so I just like to read mainly. Its so great. Keep it up. Mary

Mary,

You are sooo sweet. I love reading other folks posts as well. As you say, it helps me get/stay on track when I start to wobble.

I look forward to seeing you again this weekend.

Hope your mom and the rest of the gang are well ... my mom will be back next week.

Barb

Sorry to hear that your down in the dumps. Everything your going thru is so common to many of us yet when we go thru it ourselves it is just so devastating. Be reassured from all of the feedback..things will get better. Dig down deep and push yourself to Thurs. You'll be amazed how different you'll feel when you're able to add more foods to your diet.  Hang in there hun, we're here for ya!

Thank you all for listening to me ramble. I am some what better today. Not 100% but I am gonna get there I just know it. I took my kids and went to a park over on the intercostal waterway  this afternoon and they played while I sat and watched and then we walked the whole boardwalk. I don't know how far it is butI was winded when we finished. I told my son next time he has to count the 2x4's so we can figure out how far it is. I gotta big groan from him. It is a very nice day and I hope the sea air will do me good. You don't realize how much it means to know that I am not crazy and that some of the pros here suffered some of the same things. I am looking forward to fish tomorrow. My neighbor is going to help me celebrate my advance to soft foods and fix me a king mackeral steak that he promises wont taste like fish. I dont like fishy fish, if ya understand what I mean. So as I go to bed tonite I am going to start a journal with my feelings and measurements. Hopefull in a few months I will look back and say "what a wimp you were Melissa." Again thanks to all for your encouraging words. Melissa