unsupportive family ..............

thanks holley, i may take you up on that.  are you going to the support group meeting wednesday night at ss?  i am going to try.  will be hard because it is a school night and i live an hour away,but i am going to aim to go.   thanks, dee

Dee, I saw your post last night and it has been on my mind ever since. Having family and or your spouse to help you though this I feel is a big part of it. To me it sounds like you know in your heart and soul that this is what you need. It is not an easy choice and there is nothing easy about it. I chose to have surgery because I have a desire to live and enjoy the years I have left. Being super morbid obese many co morbiditys come with that. I have said many times I never relized how sick I was till after my surgery and most all my co morbid problems went away such as my diabetes and sleep apnea to name a few. To be an obese person is a struggle with many daily things so many take for granted and I am talking simple task such as walking from your car into a store or going to a resturant and freaking out worrying if they will have chairs without arms. Also having to figure out how to put on shoes and socks and how to just clean ourselves. I have a very painful memory of when I was SMO I used to have my abusive husband tie my shoes for me before I could leave to go to work. Many times as he was doing this the verbal abuse was slamming me in the face and I would cry all the way to work with the pain of hurtful words. So to sum this up unless a family member has walked in the shoes of an obese person they never will totally understand. I am very fortunate to have the love and support of my new husband and family. As far as complications I had just a few but nothing that my doctor could not deal with. Surgery of any kind can be scarry and all surgery has risk. I do belive that if I had not had surgery my co morbiditys would have killed me sooner. If I could get on my knees without pain I would and I thank God every day for giving me a second chance to enjoy life without being sick. WLS has changed my life for the better and if I had to do it over again I would do it in a heart beat no questions asked. BTW Dee my highest weight was 680. I lost 300 before thinking about having surgery. It took me a long time to make the choice to have surgery but it was the right choice for me. Look at my profile pics.                                               Annie

thanks so much annie for your encouragement!\dee

I think in many cases with spouses its not the surgery itself they are scared about - its that you are going to lose weight and leave them - they think you will 'get skinny and hot and be too good for them'... or 'lose weight, gain confidence and leave'... there are many trains of thought.  Your hubby may be hiding behind the possible side effects of the surgery instead of stating his true feelings about you having surgery. Imagine it from his side - you are chosing to do something thats going to completely change your life... one would assume the relationship between you two is going to change as well.  I would suggest checking out couples therapy... or finding another hubby of a WLS patient for him to talk to... or just bring up the subject with him yourself- try and get to the real reason why he doesnt want you to have surgery.