A crazily long and rambling post from one month out

WARNING: This is the longest and ramblingest post EVER!   Tomorrow is my one-month surgiversary.  Hurray!    It was the best of times, it was the worst of times ...     Well, nothing so dramatic.  My Lap Band surgery didn't hurt as I thought it would.   And it didn't solve all my food problems miraculously, as I was hoping it would.  (It also didn't install the new dishwasher, wash the floors, feed the cats, do my taxes, or mail out the parent newsletters I have stacked up in my office.) I've lost 28 pounds so far -- which is AWESOME!  and which is FRUSTRATING!  I know, I know, I know ... 28 pounds in four weeks is truly and incontrovertibly awesome.  Yet ... well ... there's this ancient Indian folktale called "The 99-Rupee Snare," which is about how a guy who finds 99 rupees becomes so obsessed by not having 100 rupees that he ends up ruining his family life, working incessantly to get that last rupee and make it an even 100.  I'm feeling like that this week: I wanted an even 30.  Greedy.  Oh, yes, I am!  My diet has changed radically.  I haven't had pasta or bread in a month, and was really careful not to get sucked into eating ice cream as part of my "full liquid" or "mushy" stages.  I eat cheese again, which my years of Weigh****chers had pounded into me as a forbidden food.  I ate fairly healthfully before (just too much, and often in surrender to emotional eating urges), but now my fridge is filled with lots more protein foods (shrimp, chicken, salmon, soy crumbles, soy breakfast patties, soy sausage, soy cheese ... you get the picture!).  I've developed a fondness for protein drinks, and hopefully I won't regret the 10000000000000 tubs of various flavors of protein powders I've got stacked in my kitchen shelves. I'm back to walking!!  ((( HURRAY! )))  For many years, I was a marathon walker and coach for an organization that trains endurance athletes who raise funds to fight blood cancers.  I had to give it up a couple years ago when I developed a recurrence of a bone-marrow disorder and a pulmonary disease and then plummeted into a horrible depression.  It was a grievous loss for me: marathoning was my stress release, a tremendous physical boost, a great way for me to socialize with other walkers and runners, an excuse to travel for events, a chance for me to connect with friends and gab as we did something together, and a way to give back to an organization that has helped me through 16 years of chronic leukemoid troubles.   And now I can have some of that back.  (( (( WHOO HOO!! )) ))  I may not be able to do another 26.2-mile full marathon, but I'm fairly confident that I'll be able to walk a half-marathon by the end of this year.  It'll take five or six months of dedicated training, but already I'm up to four miles a day.  Last night, I needed tomatoes and cucumbers.  So I strapped on my little backpack and walked to the grocery store 1.5 miles from my house, up one very steep hill (Heart-Attack Hill, as Annie would say!).  There is no way I can describe how good it felt to be able to do that.  It wasn't the easy jaunt it used to be, but I did it, and it felt great. Things I'm really glad I did: 1.  Talking with people who've had various types of weight-loss surgeries.  I interrogated so many people in the months before and after I chose to become a Bandit!  If you were one of those poor, hapless souls whom I peppered with questions, I offer my apologies and my sincerest thanks.  It's because of you that I can walk to the grocery store to buy tomatoes and cucumbers!!  It's because of you that I had to pin my pants to keep them up today!! 2.  Sampling the protein powders and concentrates that have become important to my daily nutritional intake, and buying the vitamin and mineral supplements I need.  3.  Joining the ObesityHelp.com's North Carolina forum!!  I cannot imagine how I would have gotten through these past few weeks without y'all.  Reading what you've written about your experiences, learning about your successes and challenges, seeing the photos of your journeys, and meeting my role models at the Meetup last weekend .... well ... I could spend an entire day writing thank-yous to each and every one of you, but it still wouldn't begin to express my appreciation.  I would have completely freaked out without this forum. 4.  Taking charge of the co-morbidity issues that could have sunk my ship of success.  I switched to a new pulmonologist and radically changed my asthma meds and routines for taking them.  I bought a new, cute little nebulizer that makes it a lot easier to nebulize (is that a word?) on the go.  I posted a chart on my bathroom wall to keep track of how I'm doing, so crises won't creep up on me.  I also stepped up collaborations with my very grouchy (but effective!) medical case manager, who helps me keep on top of what's going on with my cancer and other issues. 5.  Talking with my therapist about increased frequency of visits.  My emotions are on a wild roller-coaster ride.  I can simply burst into tears for no reason at all, or feel all giddy and indestructible.  I need extra TLC right now.  Things I would do differently:  1.  Do more than just toy with the high-protein, low-carb diet before surgery.  I bought BariatricEating.com's Protein Pack, which offered a lot of different protein drinks and supplements.  It helped me tremendously to know what would be available for me in the days and weeks after surgery.  I should have bought two of them, though, and really lived that diet for a full week BEFORE surgery, rather than succumbing to Last-Supper Syndrome. 2.  Get to walking sooner after surgery.  I was really scared and nervous about it, because walking had become so very unpleasant ... and because my expectations really are fairly INSANE.  I considered it a failure to have to turn around after 10 minutes because I figured 45-60 minutes to be standard.  Dope.  I was such a dope!  I should have been out there walking those 10 minutes, then 11, then 12, etc.     3.  Shell out money for New Whey Protein Bullets without wincing.  What can I say?  I like being able to dump the bullet into a batch of Crystal Lite and feel full longer between meals.  I shouldn't have scrimped on that, and I won't ever scrimp again!   4.  Take more photos of myself.  Gawd, I have such a rabid fear of cameras!!  But so many people have shared their before & after photos, and I wish I had posed a little more for the "before" photos.  Point taken and lesson learned, though, and I've taken my one-month-out photo series this morning.  Thanks to everyone at the Meetup last weekend for that advice!! 5.  Choose a Bariatric Center of Excellence for my surgery and follow-up.  Now that all is said and done, I'm not that impressed with the clinic I chose.  Don't get me wrong: I believe that my surgery itself was well-done.  But there's much more to successful WLS than one well-done procedure.   Fortunately, because of my other health issues, I have an excellent medical case manager who can answer any question I put to him and get me help when I need it without making me sit in a waiting room for three hours -- which would make me less likely to be compliant with follow-up visits.

First of all CONGRATULATIONS on your weight loss!!! 28 lbs is outstanding!!! I loved reading your *ramblings* you sound like a wonderful and fun person that is full of life!!! You are doing great Kim and thanks for sharing your experiences

Darcie

Congrats on the weight loss. WHOO HOO And also, thanks for sharing your musings. You're always so upbeat & cheerful. Love that about you. Keep it up, Kim. xoxo Mare

Kim, you are doing great!!  This might be a rambling post but how informational!  Its a great post and your personality shown right through.  Congrats on your success so far.  I know you will continue to be.  Good Work!!  Connie

((((Kim)))),

I'm so delighted for you! Your 28 lb weight loss if just phenominal! I didn't have a loss that big at one month and I had RNY! Way to go girl! You are definitely working that band for all it's worth! Congratulations!

I want you to know that we are as delighted to have you here as you are to be here. You are already becoming an integral part of the fabric of our NC Forum support network and it just wouldn't be the same without your smiling face.

I love you ramblings and look forward to more of them because they are thoughtful and thought provoking.

At some point, I'd like to talk to you about maybe trying to get a "walk" together for some of us. I think with your experience and connections you might be able to help us put it together. Maybe if we just start with a 5K and work our way up to the big guns ... Let me know what you think.

Again, congratulations on many hard won successes.

Barb

Bless yer heart!   You know, I would LOVE to help organized a 5k walk/run.  Perhaps we could start by putting together a team for an existing 5k event, such as Cary Road Race this spring or the autism walk this fall, and grow from there.  I'm sure our docs would be thrilled to become sponsors. We could also organize a "virtual marathon" as with the Triangle Kids' Marathon, which is where kids signed up to run or walk 26.2 miles over eight weeks, with the final mile run/walk taking place as part of a big event.   We could adapt the timing to 2-4 weeks, and have the final 5k at a prominent location to garner press interest.

Great Suggestions!

Do you want to get together sometime to see about working out some details ... Maybe we could get a group together.

Let me know!

Barb

That sounds awesome.  Let's try to get together soon; I'd love to hear your ideas!  With all the mighty professional and brainification resources we have in our group, we could definitely make this happen.

Thank you all for the kinds responses to my giddy post.  I'm just so happy I did this -- it's been a completely SYSTEM REBOOT for me, and sometimes I get a little carried away.