Confused!!

Ok well I don't exactly know where the problem lies. But I tell you I feel just like I did in high school. I didnt fit in with the skinny girls. I feel like there is this "clic" of people on this forum and that because I chose the "wrong " doctor in their eyes I am like some red headed step child. You know we are all here because we wanted to do something to improve our lives and now I feel like what is the point when the people who could actually sympathize with me and my plot in life , snub me. I had no idea there was another doctor in town that done gastric bypass. The doctors office I got my referal from sat on it for 4 weeks because they didnt know anyone who did the surgery other than the doctors in greenville. I have 3 kids I cant just drive 2.5 hours away every time i need to go to the doctor. So I took it upon myself to find a doctor in Wilmington and when I searched on the internet I came across my doctors name multiple times. He has been named a bariatric Center of Excellence and I felt as tho they would know! So I started my journey and then just as my surgery date approaches all this pettiness starts. This is a big decision in anyone's life and to have been snub or ridiculed for a doctor choice is just more than anyone needs. I don't know exactly what I want from this but I just needed to vent and tell anyone who does not want to associate with me because of my choice of doctors needs to step back and think about what their words can do to someone. You have never walked in my shoes and don't know what your words can do.

Well, From what I hear there isnt anything wrong with Dr. Miles.  He has done surgery on several of my friends.(about four of them)  I myself havnen't totally decided on what Doctor I am going to use.  I will probably travel, but time will tell.  All of my friends just Love Dr. Miles.  I am sure your going to do Great!!

I am sorry to hear that people on this forum would 'dis' your doctor.  Everyone has different experiences with different medical professionals and sometimes it boils down to personality alone.  Well personally I'm glad you got that off your mind because you are the only one that needs to be happy with your decision.  Good luck as you get closer to your surgery date. Julie

"Don't Worry, Be Happy!" la lal al! Your letting people ruffle your feathers...dont! There is a block button that you apply to any person that you would rather not see what they have to say...it works great!

Thanks for your support . I had to get it off my chest. I did and nowI am done with it. I chose myself last night that that would be it. I would air my dis-satisfaction and then be done. I know I can't live my life to please other people. So I am trying to move forward and continue my journey the way I chose but it feels good to know that someone understands where I was coming from.  Thanks again.

I do not know the doctor you picked , but shucks I think that is your choice--- if you are comfortable the heck with what others say. We all had the " OMG you are having surgery " people who told us we would die and horror storys that are NOT TRUE....  I am sure your doctor is fine , as far as I am concerned if you just need a friend to talk to this board is here full of friends , we need nothing else but support here .. so if there are snubs out there - we don't want you.  So Mom- you are WELCOME here and don't worry about people , that are not supportive of YOUR choices. Happy Friday

Thank you for sharing that and I'm sorry you even have to feel that way.  Because of the seriousness of the surgery and the relationship you end up forming with your Surgeon, I think people (including myself) tend to get protective of their surgeons.  I'm not condoning anything, just another perspective.  But you should go with who you are comfortable with. You are the one forming a life long relationship with this surgeon, not anyone else. YOU need to be comfortable and feel like the person who is about to move things around inside your body and change your life forever is someone you can trust!

Wow!  I'm sorry you feel that way!  This NC Forum is THE most supportive place to just about everyone that I have seen to date.  I don't mean to invalidate your feelings, I'm just saying don't give up on this group.  Really, it's an invaluable support system, and I think in time you'll find that everyone here is in your corner. What all of the others have said before me is right.  If someone is snubbing you because of your choice in Dr's, that's their problem.  This surgery is being done on your body.  YOU are the one who needs to be comfortable with your Dr and have confidence in his abilities.  The fact that his practice is a Center of Excellence sounds like a great start.  You should never feel like you have to appologize for your surgeon choice, or even explain it.   Bottom line, I'm glad you got the feelings off your chest (it probably feels better to release it).  Now let's all move on, becuase your life is about to do a 180, and we all want to be here to help you through the rough times and cheer with you through the wow moments!

I must have had my head in the clouds because I missed the malstrom.

First, let me say that I'm soooo sorrrry that this has happened to you. I truly believe that you need to be comfortable with your choice. As long as you are, that's it! It's your choice, your body. It's not okay for anyone to make you feel bad about.

It irks me when people make disparaging remarks and comments about a particular practice. On the other hand, maybe folks who have had a personally negative experience wanted to give you the benefit of their experience ... What I have found, is that some people think that they have found the best and gone to the best. They think that there isn't another way to go. Personally, I think that there are a number of good options available. It seems that you are an intelligent and articulate woman quite capable of making an informed and considered decision.

I'm sorry that it got to a point where you felt the need to defend your choices, but I don't think that you need to do that.

I hope that you will be able to move forward and will find the warmth and support that is so typical of this particular forum.

I look forward to continuing to get to know you as you continue your journey.

Wishing you all the best,

Barbara

Hi Melissa - I must have missed something while in the hospital. I'll have to go back and browse the messgae board. I'm sorry you feel slighted by anyone on this forum. I have found so much support here, I was hoping everyone would find the same. Choosing a surgeon IS a personal choice and it's your's to make. I have no personal experience with Dr. Miles...only Dr. Harris. I actually contacted Dr. Miles' office when I originally started researching WLS. They were to send me a packet of information and never did, so I contacted Dr. Harris. I do not,  & hopefully never will, regret that decision. I came through my surgery very well. I hope that expressing your feelings will help relieve some of the stress on you. You have enough on your plate with your upcoming surgery...and I'll be rooting for you all the way! Good luck friend, xoxo Mare