Trying to make sense of this...

I had an interesting conversation yesterday with my manager at the plus size store where I work.  We have two registers with a counter behind us.  There's plenty of room to work, but it's tight.  Anyway, yesterday I was at my register and needed a gift box that was on the other side of the register next to me.  Instead of walking behind my manager (between her and the back counter) I walked all the way around the front and back.  It's probably 2 - 3 times as far.  I found myself contemplating why I did that and realized that I didn't think I fit between her and the back counter.  The truth of the matter is, I had plenty of room, but in my mind I'm still 425 pounds and need extra space to maneuver.  She came up to me later and asked me why I walked so far around and I told her that I my head just hadn't caught up to where my body was and I didn't realize that I'd fit between there.  She looked at me weird and said, "You fit!  Save yourself some steps!" I'm not sure I"m making much sense, trying to explain the physical layout of the store.  Anyway, its just another case of my mind not catching up with my body yet.  Hope you all are having wonderful weekends! Take care. Ellen

Hi Ellen!  I get it totally.  I pull myself up to the table when I am in the conference room, so that folks can get behind me, and several times recently I've had people say, oh no, I'm fine, there's plenty of room.  And some times I will go the long way so I don't have to squeeze beind someone, only to realize that I fit with room to spare.

I know what you mean.  I did that for the longest time too.  I still have issues with not understanding how much, or little, space I take up.  We'll get there eventually from what I understand. Take care. Ellen

Ellen -

I absolutely get it. I think that our self-identity/image has taken years, if not decades to develop ... while our bodies are chaning dramatically over a period of months. I think it's going to take a while recogonize at a gut level that we have changed. The other thing that my Dr said and makes some sense, is that whenever we've lost weight before it has been like throwing a boomerang ... it leaves, but we know it will be back. She said this time it's like a softball or a frisbee ... it doesn't automatically return, but we've been so conditioned to have it come back that it may take a while for our slimmer identity to solidify in our consciousness.

I hope you have a lovely holiday.

Warmest regards,

Barb

They say that it takes time for your brain to catch up, but eventually it does.  I no longer see my big face in the mirror when I do my make-up, but still see the big belly.  I guess it'll come in stages? Anyway, I hope you have a wonderful holiday too. Take care. Ellen

I know what you are talking about Ellen. I hate to have my chair sticking out at a resturant because of the fear people have a hard time getting by or the waitress having a hard time. I guess old habits hold on for awhile. At sweet tomatoes I noticed both my friends sat together in the booth leaving me one seat to myself I thought that, that was strange but did not say anything. The great part was I got back to the table before they did afte getting my soup and slid right into the booth just as easy as could be. Then we went to Kohl's and had to park a long way from the entrance. Robin said do you want us to let you off at the door. I said no I can do this. When it comes to stepping up on curves I still will hesitate stepping up and or down. I have to tell myself NO YOU CAN DO THIS NOW. Dont forget you are going to join us in January at meetup.                                                             Annie

You are doing so great Annie!  Doesn't it feel fabulous when you can cross "sitting in a booth" and "walking from outer-mongolia in a parking lot" off of your to-do list?  I was just elated when that happened for me. Take care and Merry Christmas. Ellen

I'm with ya Ellen.  I know my head has not caught up with my smaller body yet.  Some habits are hard to break!  Alice

It will Alice, then watch out.  You'll be walking around shaking what your momma gave you... Take care and Merry Christmas. Ellen

Ellen,
I understand your store because I SAW you behind the counter with another lady and you were both super busy bagging up clothes and I dont know why you think you cannot fit!! you could of slid 3 more people behind that counter!!!! This was the first time I saw you when I was standing up and I saw you from behind.. this small little short petite thing working like crazy!!! you look great girl!!!

Darcie