Rambling...(sorry)

Just wanted to share a couple of things that are going on.. 1st the good news: Went with the Doc's office  with the wife today for her history and physical, she was scheduled for her surgery on 11-29!  Things went alot smoother than we anticipated.  I hope that I'm not far behind her.  Just want to make sure she's over the hump before I go in.   Now this: Without giving too much of my life away, I'll say that I work for a law enforcment agency in a support position.  One of my duties is to train new employees during our basic training sessions that we hold once or twice a year.  These are held in a traditional classroom student/pupil setting so it's a little unnerving at first.  Well, I have just started with the training program a few months ago and have just gotten my first copies of the student confidential evaluation forms.  I recieved outstanding ratings on all areas of my instruction.  Content, personality, time, accuracy, etc...  EXCEPT one thing.  Appearance.  Yeah, apprearance .  Thing about it is ( I wear a uniform), I ironed that shirt, polished those shoes, creased the pant and still got "gigged" on appearance .  Not everyone did, but about 10 did (class was 22 folks).  I know it's got to be about the weight.  Most of the guys (and girls) that I work with have that "cement block" appearance.  Flat stomach, broad shoulders, blah blah, you know what I mean.  I had noticed that I can't quite get the shirt to stay tucked due to so much more "area" to cover in the front than in the back.  It just kind of (trying not to sound "sissified") hurts me to know that I have poured hours into my lesson plan, presentation, and yes appearance only to have my weight detract from everything else.  Deep breath....I'm more committed to this surgery now than ever.  My employer has never mentioned my weight.  So, I guess I'm one of the lucky ones.  I feel so bad for people who don't get jobs or have a hard time at work due to their weight. 

No need to apologize for rambling around here! 

It's a shame that this is the "way of the world," but unfortunately, it is in many places.  We get discriminated against in many ways, often times in ways we're not even made aware of, but here's what I think about that. I believe that "justice" or karma or whatever we might call it will be served one day... and that mean and hateful "skinny" folks who make fun of us whether out loud or not will spend an eternity in FAT HELL.  They will get their justice by being sentenced to an eternity of living as an obese person with daily realities of what like is like as an overweight person!  And those of us who they scorned will be on the outside looking in and  in our healthy skinny bodies! Just remember that before long, those folks will be seeing you and thinking DA-AMMM!  He looks grrrrrreat....

Thanks Wendy Fat Hell huh?  Sounds like justice to me too (or the name of a resturant)!    Thanks for your kind words, the last paragraph especially .

I'd have eaten there...

It is sad that it is true that folks are prejudiced. As Wendy said, I hope there is a special place for those folks.

I went to my 20th High School Union ... more than a decade ago. Mind you, I've always been anywhere from chubby to obese. At any rate, there were a bunch of the "pretty cheerleaders" that had gained a lot of weight and were now obese ... They spent most of the night apologizing for the way they looked. I spent the night enjoying seeing friends. I had "come to terms" with myself long ago. ...I'd say that they were in "Fat Hell." It will be interesting to go to the next reunion. I'll be slim by then.

At any rate, I'm so sorry that people put their prejudice before your performance. I wonder what it will be like a year from now.

Just keep doing the best you can do ... in your job and taking care of you.

All the best,

Barb

Don't you worry about what these folks have to say.... I think we have ALL been passed over for promotions at work, elevators closed in our faces, ugly looks from the thin trim of this world, the " Well you have such a pretty face " ... grwwwwwwwwwwww I used to want to scream at these people. Let me promise you one thing Mr Policeman-- you will soon be a different man, and you will be able to show folks of size, you do not think of them as another species , because you have walked in the shoes they have.   Your OH family thinks you are wonderful and we are here to support you, as you and your wife start your journey know, here is where your family is.  Take care Pug's Momma starting weight Feb. 2006   320 ponds todays weight   Nov  2007    163 pounds

It does hurt and its not sissified to say it.  When I was 425, I had men hold doors for women in front of me, then drop them on me.  I often was invisible.  That was part me, part others avoiding me, but it happened.  I got tired of the skinny people I knew avoiding getting too close to me, as if they were going to get "fat cooties" or something.  I guess I am just saying I feel your pain, as we all do.  The good news is, it does get better.  Now I have men bending over backwards to hold doors for me, friends that have no problem hugging me, and get noticed a lot.  The secret is to do this for yourself, not for the approval or acceptance of others.  It feels good on the old ego though. Take care and good luck with the approval process. Ellen

Thanks ya'll I so very much appreciate your words of support.  I'm so glad that I've found this site.  The information is great, but the interaction is even better.  Best of luck and continued success to everyone!

For 28 years my ex rode me hard about my weight while he ate for 4 and I starved.   I saw him recently at our neice's wedding and he looked to have put on a 100 pounds.  What goes around comes around--I am convinced of it.   Be very glad your employer has not mentioned your weight.  Most law enforcement offices and the military have weight limits and PT that each person must pass yearly.  You are so on the right track.  Good Luck to you and your wife. Can't wait for the two of you to join us on the loser's bench.  Be safe and thanks for all you do to keep you community safe. 

Congratulations on your wife's date!  Dr McDonald was my WLS and I think he's the best doctor in the world of course!  I'll keep you both in my thoughts and prayers!

I understand what you're talking about with the uniform issue.  I lived in Oregon for 7 years and worked for a police department there and had to wear a uniform (I wasn't a dispatcher at that time).  Anyway, my body and the uniform didn't really go very well together (I felt like a sausage stuffed in the uniform) but I had to wear it so I did the best I could and made sure the uniform was pressed and shoes shined.  Needless to say I got comments also.  Now I don't have to wear a uniform but if I did I know I wouldn't get those comments.  It is sad that we are judged by our cover before the insides are revealed!

Keep us posted on your wife's progress and yours too of course!!!