The Things People Say

This is sort of a spin-off of gigi's thread about other's reactions.  I am wondering if you all also experience cringes when you hear people say with SHOCK things like "OMG you look so wonderful!" I'm not talking about when someone approaches you and inquires about your weightloss and then says something like, "Well you can really tell and it looks great on you". But when someone just drops their jaw and says with shock how good you look like it's the LAST thing they expected to see, it doesn't always have the desired effect.  Don't get me wrong, I'm never rude or anything, I always take it as a compliment and smile and say thank you, but mentally I'm thinking, "Damn, did I look that bad to start with?".  Something else is when someone says, "Wow you're so skinny now!" Well hello, I'm a size 18 and weigh 227 lbs, I'm far from skinny. In fact, I probably will never be skinny, nor do I really want to be 'skinny'. That sort of gets on my nerves sometimes.

So, what things are you hearing people say that don't always have the desired effect that the person intended?

 

Happens ALL the time.  My husband says I am not grateful for people's support and that I am just being snitty.  However, it really ticks me off when someone who could not give me the time of day when I was fatter is now my best buddy and wants to chat.  WHATEVER!  

Hi Holley, I get more back handed compliments from women and men with their tongues hanging out.. no thanks.  I know immediately those that are being kind and those that are being cruel.  There is a distinct difference I can spot a mile away. For instance, I saw a coworker that I hadn't seen in 2 years.  She came up, hugged me and said "Diane you look terrific!  I love your haircut.  (Did not mention my weight)  I said Thanks, and when I told her I lost 103 lbs, she asked in sincerity, "How are you doing with that, are you OK?"  Now that was sincere. Next comes Kaye, "When are you having your second surgery?"  I said what surgery?  She says "The one to remove all that hanging skin?"  She was smirking.  BTW I had no hanging skin. Then comes Wanda, after another man she was talking to gave me a compliment.  She looked me up and down in contempt and as she turned away said Yeah your coming on down.  That was a backhanded compliment, trust me. The list goes on, but you get the general idea.  We know the difference between kindness and contempt.  Women are the worst (sorry) when it comes to back handed compliments. Love, Diane

It is definitely women who I always feel are making these undesirable remarks.  in fact the men I work around have been nothing but supportive and kind and caring.  It's odd isn't it? I guess women are a lot more competitive when it comes to socializing. 

The ones that really get to me are the ones who want even speak to me now that I have lost weight and they haven't.  Some of them have only a few pounds to lose but my success has really threatened them.   I am smiling all the way to my doc tor's office----