ot: funk

lol yeah even stink weed needs light I guess....   I got a few more to go......................then it will be light................... Amy

That was a very nice thing your boyfriend did.  There is an old adage, when God seems far away, guess who moved.  Maybe, as you regain your strength, you can try to move back towards God.  He is there and He cares about you.  If your current church isn't filling your needs, find a new one.  I wish you were closer to Greenville, my church is a very supportive one with lots of programs and services for it's congregation.  I hope you find what you are seeking. I suffered from major depression for 5 years.  I basically sat on the couch and stared blankly into space.  I wish that I could have that time back, but I can't.  God can redeem the past though and He can use that time and that experience to further His kingdom.  He has plans for you, if you'll let Him work in your life.  Someday, your experience can help someone else, if you let God in now, just as He has and is using mine. I will pray for you Amy. Take care of yourself and get some sunshine in those eyeballs. Ellen

I have not been to church in years. I gotta make a change in my life. I need to be grown and help myself as much as I can. I space out lots. I am on prozac but it don't seem to be helping. Girl I don't even want to hold my head up and look at people. I go around with my head down all the time. I never look at people. Thanks for all you have done for me.  amy

Amy,

How is your little girl?  I seem to remember at one time you talked about your little girl was sick with MRSA.  Is she doing better and how does she handle the windows all being covered.  Believe me,  My oldest daughter is 17 this year and graduating from high school.  I honestly have constantly shook my head all year and wondered where all the time has gone.  I wish I had back every second I was too tired or too depressed or too sick to play with her.  Now she is her on woman and wanting to move on and I'm having trouble letting go.  I have my appointment with my surgeon on Tuesday for my Decision Visit and I hope to get a surgery date.  I pray that I will because I want my life back so that I will be able to start living every moment.  Right now,  my weight has affected my health and I can't do alot of things because I am sick.  But I understand what you mean about depression and I have also been at a point in my life when I wondered where God was and why he had left me.  But I can testify to you, that God never leaves you,  He Honestly carries you through your toughest times, if you will only have Faith and Believe!  Take care of yourself and your daughter and enjoy your time together because believe me, it will be shorter than you can ever imagine.

Hugs,

Bobbie

Oh thank you for asking about my little girl. She is doing very good. She is loving school. 10th. grade. She is 16 and don't have much time for me. I wish I had her energy. I sit back and watch her. My kids are my life and the only reason I take a breath. amy

Amy,  I am SO glad to see you posting again and taking steps, even if baby ones, to take back control of your life!  I'm a newbie around here, but have been reading your previous posts a couple of weeks ago and have been praying for you because I was just so worried about you.   I hope you will find some new psychological support if what you have isn't working.  Maybe the Prozac isn't the right med for you.  There are SO many new options out there so please talk to your doctor about that. I suffered from depression years ago and can relate to some of your "dark" feelings.  It took me 3 meds before finding the "right" anti-depressant.  I don't know your personal situation and that's your business, but I'm a firm believer that a general family MD is not properly trained to prescribe psyc medications, so make sure you are seeing someone who can help with your specific issues.  My time years ago with a psychiatrist was the BEST thing I ever did for myself, even topping the WLS I just had.  When I got my depression under control, all other aspects of my life fell right into place. Try to find yourself a comfortable "church."  For now, if you're not at ease going TO one in your area, there are places online where you can find comfort and solace and time with GOD, especially now that you're online at home.  That sounds like a pretty special man you have there trying to help you, so let him and let him know you appreciate him. 

And I do hope you'll start getting those bags off your windows.  Take down one at a time if need be.  Look at that as opening up a new life for the new you.  I firmly believe that sunshine in small doses is a healing force, and since I've been hanging around the house recovering, I've tried to make it a point to go out on my patio every day and just sit back and relax and close my eyes and let my body soak in some good on Vit D!  The natural way.  I feel SO good after doing that. Have you ever thought you might be affected by SAD? (Seasonal Affective Disorder)  This is a pretty serious disorder that can mimic severe depression and other things. Maybe some light therapy would help you.  Just a thought... take a look at this: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Seasonal_affective_disorder I'm just glad to see you back here and posting.  Keep your daughter on your mind and how she would love to see her mother healthy again.  That should be a great motivator. HUGS AND SUNSHINE TO YOU AMY!!