Hello Friends

For all of you wondering where I am...I am still here. Thank you for caring enough to ask. (((hugs))) I'll tell you the reason for my absence, but I hope it doesn't sound selfish or like I'm whining like a spoiled child, but here goes...          While I am SOOOOOOOOO happy and SOOOOOOOO proud of you all...newbies w/ surgery dates, post ops and all your amazing successes...I have begun (again) to feel like this was not meant to be for me.       I know...I know..."Just hang ing there." Well, I have been hanging in, I have been trying to keep a positive outlook on things, but it has gotten really difficult lately. ZERO progress with Voc Rehab. I guess I'm lucky that I even get to speak to a human voice there to tell me "Sorry. We'll get back to you when we know more."       I find you all so supportive and caring, but at this point I need a while to distance myself from OH. Not because it isn't helpful anymore...it absolutely is! I just feel like it's "in my face," if you understand that. Everyone making progress and me just spinning my wheels in the mud. Jealousy is such an ugly word and I tell myself I'm not...but there it is, I guess. I was speaking to a friend on the phone about this who said it's like "Being the bridesmaid and never the bride." BINGO! It gets tiring, ya know? This is 10 months now, y'all!!      Another issue plaguing my emotional state is the fact that, of the 30+ lbs Dr. Harris required me to lose before he'd schedule surgery, I have gained back almost 10 since being denied WLS in July. I feel the vortex trying to suck me under, once again. I'm taking time to focus on me and what I need to do.       I hope that you guys understand this. Not sure I do. Just another emotional bump in this extremely long road. I don't want you to think I am shutting you out. I'm just shutting out the whole WLS issue for a while till I gather myself again, find my focus and strength, and proceed down a more positive path. This little lamb is just a bit lost right now.      I WILL BE BACK!                           Mare      

Now you've got me crying.  I miss you already.

(((((Mare))))),

I think that we all understand ... My heart aches for your pain. I hope that in time, you will have the surgery because I believe that it will change your life. If I could come knock on your door and give you are "real" hug I would.

I must admit that I will miss you, but I truly understand. Please be gentle with yourself and cake care. When you are ready and able, I hope to see you again.

With love, your friend,

Barb

Back Up Girl friend I totally know where you are comming from. Yes it sucks big time to hear about all the good things happing to those who have made it to the bench. You have to be persistant and that can be very hard. I fought tooth and nail for 3 years I felt many times this would never happen and the depression was horrible waiting day after day for the phone to ring with good news or get a letter and not to mention the repeated question from friends and family "do you have a date"? I am comming to Topsail October 28th through the 30th and I so want to meet you and the other OH memebers who live there please dont let me down Mare I love you no matter if you have had surgery or not. The boards are not the same without you.                                                   Annie

  OK Mare,  You're bringing out the "mama" in me.  I understand you are feeling discouraged, but this is the time for you to fight, not fold!  If you need a doctor that will not crucify you for gaining weight before surgery, try UNC Chapel Hill, Dr. Timothy Farrell.  Honey I gained 20 lbs from January to March 2007 and they never made a peep about it.  They are kind, caring and the best in bariatric surgery.  You can stay with Annie who lives just a few miles from the hospital, or with me in Haw River, 20 miles away, before and after surgery, for however long you need and we will take care of you.  Please don't give up, please. We are here for you.  We love you and we will not give up on you!!! Hugs, and lots of love, Diane

Pean
I just read your post and it made me very sad. I understand your feelings and I am here if you need to talk.. you got my number.. I love you girl.

Darc
aka Baby Veins

Mare,          I've definately missed your encouragement and laughs, but I understand. I hope you don't forget about us because we're not gonna forget about you. You're great Mare...We love you!!! Shelly

{{{Mare}}} I completely understand hon. There was a time before I got my approval when I had to kinda shut the whole process out for a while. I had been jumping through the hoops for months and was beginning to feel like it would never happen.  Take some time hon, just know that we're here anytime you want to talk, OK?  Sending you lots of love and {{hugs}}