Time to get back in the saddle

I haven't been BAD, but I've been bad. I keep making poor choices. I make good choices more than I make poor choices, but during the past 10 days or so I've made more poor choices than I did during the past 4 months. It's kind of scary knowing that I'm only a stones throw from screwing up big time. I really have to talk to myself all of the time to remember to make good choices.

I'm logging all of what I eat ... good, bad and ugly ... so I can "see" what I'm doing. I also haven't been exercising the way I know that I need to, to be successful in the long run. I'm working on it though.

I'm so afraid that I'm going to screw this up too. The choices I've been making over the last 10 days or so are part of make me afraid that I'm doomed again. The fact that I am logging my choices and am so painfully aware gives me hope that I'll right myself and make this work. I've put too much into it to quit now.

Thanks for letting me "vent" my fears and frustrations with myself.

 

Glad you vented, Barbara.  I admire your dedication to what you are doing so much!  I know I don't lose at the rate that others do, but I still haven't joined the gym, as I INTEND to, nor do I keep a log of what I eat.  Sometimes, I think that is so that I can criticize myself for my poor choices more, rather than praise myself for my good choices.  I know I don't want to be a slave to dieting or to be afraid of food ever again.  But something obviously has to change in addition to the surgery or I will wind up back where I was.  I just need to remember that I am doing a lot of good changing and hopefully those habits will perservere in the long run.

Barb, I'm doing the same thing to myself.  I think this is where the easy part ends and hard part starts.  This is a new way of life and I need to start living it more than talking about it.  All we can do, is our best.  I myself, need to start eating more higher protein things....this will stop the poorer choices, I hope. Hang in there!  Thanks for the PM! Nancy

Who is that in that avitar.......Nancy!!! changes changes.....You look great! Myrtis

Hi Barb, First i wanted to tell you I got that cookbook you told me about yesterday havent had time to look at it but it is on my To Do list today. As far as the bad choices you are making I am wondering if it has to do with all the complements you got at the wedding. Why I say this is speaking from my own insight and that is we are not used to getting nice things said to us about our weight and how we look. When I get nice things said i think there is a part of us that dosent belive it so we can sabatage our efforts. We are so used to acceptig life as it was. I missed you yesterday but hope to have another gathering soon. I had a blast and we even did facials in the hot tub. We sampled many different protien drinks and bars and vitamins which I liked all of them LOL.                                                Annie id to me they sound wonderful and make me feel great but it is short lived because a part of me has a hard time beliving the nice comments. Sometimes I feel there maybe a part of me

Hi Annie -

I'm delighted to hear that you had such a wonderful time. Hopefully I can make it another time.

I understand what you are saying re: sabotaging our success, but honestly I don't think that's the problem. I think it's more related to the fact that now I can eat anything I want to. I'm having to learn to make better choices more often. I do make good choices most of the time, but sometimes I screw up. I just want to get to the point where I make good choices more often than I am now. I'm making good choices often enough that I'm still losing, I just don't want to fall into old habits.

Thanks again for the support. As always, it's appreciated.

Barb

I know exactly what you mean. I haven't been making the best choices and depending on my smaller pouch to stop me from overeating. There will come a day when I may not be able to do that. I haven't exercised one time since surgery. What is wrong with me? I'm 3 months out and I bought an eliptical and haven't used it once. That's pathetic! I keep saying tomorrow. I think I'm relying on the pouch too much. What happens when I start to graze, as they say. I find myself able to eat sweets and that scares the heck out of me.  Today is a new day. I plan to get on that plan of mine. Thanks for posting.  Jennifer

Wow!  Jennifer!  You look wonderful!  Congratulations on your weight loss! I know exactly what you mean about depending on the pouch too much.  But then sometimes I think we expect too much of ourselves just 2-3 months out.  We have a lifetime of relearning to do and a good year to get that done.  But I certainly agree wholeheartedly that I need to be vigilant!  AND I need to get that treadmill out of the garage!

Jenn -

You look amazing! I love the new photos. You can really see a remarkable difference. I'll bet you can really feel the difference too.

Hope to see you next week-end.

Barb

Hi Barbara,

I agree with everyone that we must relearn years of bad habits. It is not an easy task to say the least. Your awereness is something big though and perhaps as long as we don't bury our heads in the sand like an ostrich then we can beat this thing for good. We have to recondition our brains. I am a slow loser but am doing what is right. I exercise a minimum of three times a week and still haven't lost as most on here and sometimes I just want to throw in the towel since it isn't going like I expected it should. I know that isn't the right answer so I am plugging away and doing the best I can. I have to say that from 12:00 pm to 10:00 pm  yesterday I worked the sweets booth at our band day at school. Wow. I wanted to sample a brownie with a cream cheese filling and I can honestly say my mouth was watering smelling all the other workers eating them and the myriad of other goodies. I was good and didn't even lick my fingers when I got icing on them from bagging some cupcakes. I, for now, can say even that small feat made me proud. I keep looking at the long run. Would that be worth it to me for a few minutes of gratification? Now I just wish the rewards would come easier for me. Once again, I have been two weeks at a stand still. Not a pound lost. And my weight loss is inching along. But, I keep looking at the future and hoping I can do this for once and for all. I feel like I have been trapped in this shell for far too long and I guess we all have the same fears and I think if we stay honest with ourselves and keep abreast of things than we can all make it for sure. I want for all of us to succeed and be free from the restraints of being obese. I am glad that people vent on here as it puts my mind at ease. I love sharing in everyone's triumps but at the same time it brings out the fears in me that I am not as successful as everyone here and I know that is wrong but I have struggled with self-esteem issues for a long time and I know that those issues are mine and mine alone. I guess I have always felt inferior and it still rears its ugly head a great deal. I have to work on that daily.I know that won't just disappear with the pounds. Anyhow, talk about venting. I was feeling quite melancholy today for some reason and guess I needed to vent as well. You girls are awesome and we need to stick together to win this war against obesity! Lisa