Need a kick in the seat...

Thanks Stacy.  I appreciate the kindness you've shown me over and over again.  It will get better, I know it, I just scared myself, that's all. Take care you're turn is coming! Ellen

Hey Ellen -

We haven't really talked but I just wanted to tell you, even though I am pre-op still I had one of those weeks too. I am trying to start training myself to behave on the food front but with exams (mine were this week) and 2 jobs and everything else going on, ugh it was so much easier to grab a #10 with a coke at mcdonalds....

Course I hated myself about an hour later when I could still taste it. Anyways I just peeked at your profile and WHOA NELLY - you look AMAZING. What an accomplishment!! It's not just a size difference either, you can tell by how you're dressed and made up that you are doing so well. You're a beautiful woman and my new idol lol You have a whole lot going on there but take some time for yourself - a hot bath and a good book or a nice sappy chick movie and relax a little. Those types of indulgences, stealing time back from all those tasks or people that "need" us, help so much to revitalize. Don't beat yourself up though - it just leaves bruises on the inside :)

Thanks for the kind words Lexi.  I do have a lot going on, most of the time I'm amazed I'm functioning at all given the mess, but God has been good to me.  He gives me strength for the day.  I will try to take some time for myself, you know how it is with us women, we put ourselves last too often and feel weird when we don't.  Take care, your turn is coming! Ellen

Hi Ellen -

I know that this is a couple of days late ... I was out of town over the week-end, but I hope that you know that you are truly cared about here. Please remember that we are our own harshest critics. The fact that you are so cognizant of your slips is really important. You have an enormous amount on your plate and all things considered, you are doing an amazing job of taking care of yourself and your children. Please try to look at your challenges in the same light you would if I were telling you I was facing them ... remember, you have tools and support now that you did not have when you weighed 425. I think it's important to acknowledge the fact that you need and want to make better decisions, but please don't beat yourself up over it.

You are not dumping on us, you are asking for the support that you need and deserve ... and you have been here for us unfailingly ... it is our turn to be here for you dear.

Warm hugs to you!

Barb

Thanks Barb.  It's amazing how hard it is for me to ask for support.  You're right, I have a lot on my plate.  Not so much busyness, just overwhelming emotions and of course school deadlines.  I will be so glad when this week is over.  Then I'll be done with that awful Visual Basic/programming class that I just don't get, at least I will if I pass.  Business Law hasn't been too difficult, the reading is just time consuming.  Down deep inside me is a rather insistent voice that says that all of this is for nothing, I won't remember a blessed thing when I get my degree. Wow, I'm a mess this week!  Oh well, this too shall pass. Take care and have a good week. Ellen