Struggling. . .

Let me warn everyone up front ~ this is NOT a happy post.  I am very, very, very depressed.  It seems like ever since I had surgery, my life has gone downhill.  I am in financial debt up to my ears, my soon to be ex is dealing with cancer and won't talk to me right now, my house is on the market but nothing is happening, I am trying to relocate to VA to start a new life but feel like I am stuck in a holding pattern, I have been stalled in the weight loss for a couple of weeks now (my own fault because I eat when I am stressed and I ain't talking healthy foods either), I hate having to take vitamins every day, I don't get in enough water, and I am sooooo tired all the time.  And did I say how much I hate my job??????  Sometimes I just wish I could disappear somewhere.  O.k., flame away if you want but I'm just gonna put it out there ~~  I WISH I HAD NEVER HAD THIS SURGERY!!!!  I feel like such a failure at this whole thing.  O.k., pity party's over. Thanks for letting me vent.  Donna

(((((((((((((((((HUGS))))))))))))))) Just wanted to give you a big hug.. times can be rough.. But I will be praying for you and yours... (((((((((((((HUGS))))))))))))

Thanks for the hugs and prayers!  I need all I can get right now.  I rarely get this depressed and it scares me. Donna

IT's good to vent, Sweetie, and I am sorry you are depressed.  I am sure you are feeling overwhelmed.  When I get like that I try to separate my issues as i have a tendency to "kitchen sink" everything so of course I get overwhelmed.  Since I think I am to blame for every horrible thing that happens in the world, that is very easy for me to do.  First of all, your surgery has nothing to do with your eating habits, your depression, your divorce, your job, the sale of your house, your husband's cancer, etc etc etc.  Tho house will sell at just the right time and your financial strains will be over.  The divorce will happen at the right time as well and God will handle everything exactly right.  You will move to VA and won't have that particular job to deal with, and all will work out.  I can't tell you how exactly, but what you need to do is to ask God to help you.  You don't even have to know what form that help will take.  Just ask him and all will be well.  In fact, all is well. Sure hope you don't feel "flamed," cuz I love you and my heart is right there with you.

Thanks Suzanne for your kind words.  I have been asking God to take over and help me before I lose my mind but I don't think He is listening.   I love you too! Donna

He's listening.  It's already happening!

Thank you!  I'm trying to keep the faith! Hugs, Donna

I've had your week!  Hang in there and it will get better. I didn't lose but three pounds in two weeks after my second surgery... I thought great, all this drama for nothing! I was down ( well, still have moments) for a couple weeks. It will snap and everything will fall into place. 

Thanks Shawana.  I appreciate your kind words.  And congratulations on the "almost" 60 lbs loss.  You are doing great. Hugs, Donna

((((Donna)))) I don't think anyone here would flame you after that flaming you just gave yourself.  Please try not to beat yourself up.  It's been all over the news how houses are not selling right now.  That's why they dropped the interest rate a couple weeks ago. Your husband is facing alot right now.  My first husband has stage 4 lung cancer.  He is my daughter's father.  We have remained friends all this time.  But when the last check up told him his cancer was back with a vengence, he cried like a scared child.  He began lashing out at me verbally and I had to remind him, "Hey we are not married anymore."  I tried to be patient with him and to help him through this transition, but he kept flipping out over what all this chemo is doing to him.  Like yall, we are not speaking right now.  He's like a little boy at times, angry with life, angry with God, and angry with himself. I wish I lived close by we could go out.  I know what you mean about things going downhill.  I faced so many trials after surgery.  Many times I had to let go and put it all in God's hands and believe He will take care of things I can't. When my husband died suddenly from diabetes i***** my life was in turmoil.  His family came out of the woodwork, folks I never knew or met, and wanted what little there was of my husband's estate.  They accused me of horrible things and sued me in civil court.  I never had time to mourn.  They gained nothing, but left me in pieces.  We lived in Portsmouth, VA and I relocated down here.... and gained 80 lbs.  My daughter got mad at me because I wouldn't give her money from the estate (she barely knew him) and cut me off from my grandkids for 2 years.  I survived and so shall you. Honey, I am no dr. or expert of any kind, but ask yourself, "Am I feeding my body or am I feeding my anger or frustration?"  Try to be kind and patient with yourself.  Please know you can call me anytime I am home and I will listen.  I will come to where ever it is you live if you need me.  I can be your designated driver and I will listen to you.   Your friend, Diane  336-578-2582