Question?

Ok gang, Now that my paperwork is about to be sent to insurance for approval.  I of course have been comtemplating some things and would like some input. Self esteem issues never plagued me before and they don't now.  But I have been wondering lately, how I'm going to react to the new me.  Will I be ****y, or remain as I am confident and comfortable in who and what I will become.  So have I been fooling myself all these years?  I was ok with my size until I became unhealthy (^cholesterol, diabetes, ^blood pressure, aching joints, etc). Thanks Wanda

Wanda,  I can't speak from experience, but I think that surgery won't change "real you".  Based on observation of the others on here that have lost, everyone seems even more gracious and thankful that we have been given this wonderful opportunity, and have also learned a lesson to love and accept people as they are.  I wish you a speedy approval and a quick schedule for wls!  Gest of luck! Nancy

Thanks

AGREED!  I could not have said that much better myself.  Nancy is right.  You are still you inside.  and funny enough when people are complimenting how I look (and they mean well) I just want to scream out.. "BUT I AM STILL ME!!!"  I haven't changed.  I just look and feel better.

Hi Wanda, We discussed this at our last SEB support group meeting and it seems that aside from maybe going off the deep end with clothing, people basically continue to be who they are. I've seen on the before and after photos that some people go through a second "teenage hood" but I've already told my kids that if I start wearing belly shirts and mini skirts to please tie me to the back door and not let me leave the house.

Wanda -

I really agree with Nancy and Jennifer. I haven't noticed any negative changes. I know that I'm still pretty early in the game, but I have physically changed a lot in the last few months ... and if anything, I'm still surprised when I see myself in the mirror or a window. Beyond that I tend to still see myself with my flaws ... some new ones, like my turkey neck, bat wings, etc... Hopefully that will even out a bit.

As Nancy said, I'm so grateful to have had the opportunity to change my life in such a positive manner. And as Deb said, if I start dressing like a tart or acting like female dog, someone needs to tie me to a door or use a baseball bat on me.

I think that you will find that you be you, only healthier and more "acceptable" to the general public.

Barb

Well I agree with everyone else, I don't think I've changed that much inside, outside is still a shock sometimes (even 5 years PO).  I was very self-conscious before WLS but I never let my weight stop me from doing anything I wanted to do.  That said... I did go through a time where I went a little bit wild... lol!  I had the most fun in my life for about a year (I figure I was trying to catch up on all those dateless weekends - lol).  Anyway, it lasted about a year, I learned a lot about myself and I think I got it out of my system.  Don't get me wrong, I still LOVE to go out and have fun and be silly.  But I have settled down and looking forward to a long and enjoyable life.  Meeting Rex may have had something to do with that too... hmmmmmmmmmm...  I have to think about this for a bit... lol 

Just be yourself and have fun!

Hey Wanda, That is a valid question.  Everyone tells me I am a much nicer person now.  I am no longer crippled by morbid obesity.  I am happier. I laugh and joke around more because I am mobile, not in pain. I like what I see in the mirror.  I can style my hair around a normal sized face.  Most of all though, I am a humbled person.  I know I have been delivered from morbid obesity through my faith and the grace of God!  I am thankful to God, my surgeon and his staff, and to myself for having the courage to walk God's path for me.  I didn't gain weight until menopause, the death of my husband, ankle replacement surgery and just things life threw at me.  And once it started it was like a cancer in me!  It was killing me, a slow painful death.  I can remember saying to my husband years ago, "If I ever get fat, just take me out and shoot me."  At 150 lbs, I felt life was over for me; and it got worse and worse and worse. Then the Lord stepped in and convicted me. I had to grow up.  I had to face my own preconceived notions and realize how ludicrious they were.  I had to pray for forgiveness.  Then I began to grow, and mature, and wisdom came.  My faith grew stronger and the Lord humbled me in the most effective way possible.  Then, thank God, He delivered me. So, did this surgery change who I am?  No.  It has been a blessing and a godsend and for that I am eternally thankful. Sorry about the rambling on and on and on! Diane

Hi Wanda....I have had those thoughts...and it appears lots more have also.  It sounds like it is what it is.  I am so happy about this.  I have been nervous about it because I too have had some major health issues in the recent two years and up until then I was "just ok" with my self image.  Heck...I had just met the man of my dreams and got married...he loved me fat...ya know!!    We were both fat and Happy!!   But now that I'm having all of the health issues you have mentioned as well....I thought about this exactly.  But I really don't think I will change.  I am who I am.  God made me.  I pray daily that I do not change to make anyone unhappy during all of this change.   I'm excited about this and congrats for you as well.  I am a Dr. B patient as well and I'm right behind you with the paperwork.  I have my PCP letter to get to Dr. B's office and then it is off to insurance. 

For me the biggest change post-op... is now i feel 'normal'. I feel like I fit in with the majority of everybody else. As for personality changes... Ive just come out of my shell more... I am more confident, more outgoing, will try more new things and dont feel I have to hide in the corner any more.  I think if anything... for most of us... the good traits come out more and some of the insecurities (even ones you may not realize you have!!) start to fade.