Not Sure What To Say Here

Ellen, I loved your above post and it really rings true for me. I, now, realize that I also hid behind my fat- it held me back, it made me conservative and at times, I tried to be invisible because of it. My wt loss, thus far, has been incredibly liberating. I take more chances. I am more open to speaking my thoughts ( I have always had self confidence and never shy), this is just a new sense of freedom from the baggage. I am MUCH more proactive for what is good for ME! I made the decision for WLS to improve my health, but for me, there is a definite trickle down effect of making more proactive decisions for happiness and serenity.  People ask what my goal wt is??? I do not know- I have not been this thin in 15-16yrs. It's not a number on a scale- it will probably be a size 8-10 ( no smaller- I too, like my curves!). What I am seeking, is that complete sense of wellness, health, vigor for life. It's not about being skinny. So- my humble opinion- its not about skinny....its about improved health and being at peace with that. Improved health should not equate to lose of self....just lose of risk factors for an early death..... Look forward to playing ball, strapping those new sexy heels on and enjoying your emerging physical attributes, but you are still the same ole person inside....just hopefully enjoying life more I think this is a great, thought provoking thread...Thanks for sharing your concerns, Sheila

Sexy heels??? Have you lost your mind?!?  I'm such a hippy chick... give me barefeet and being naked and I'm happy!  I am worried about my health before anything else. I was just thinking... and that can be dangerous!... and wondering how everyone else felt. Most people I know and have talked with about the surgery were slender at some point. I was always healthier and all out more active than the 'skinny' people around me. Just scares me that I could become sickly or something. Give me a stick and a rock and I will worry about them growing legs and walking off.  I just need to stay busy until it's over.  Thanks for the support. Hugs

I posted on my profile about that phenomenon, sort of.  When I was pre op they told me that this surgery was on your stomach, not your brain.  That if  you don't deal with the issues that got you where you are, then you are setting yourself up for failure.  I do actually believe that whole heartedly.  However, there is a component of this surgery that you mentioned.  I might have a lot to deal with, but I am much better at dealing with it now than before, I have been freed from bondage to food.  I am more confident, joyful, and at peace (At least with my weight issues).  I even don't feel like a fat person anymore.  I can't explain it, I still am, but don't feel that way.  In my profile I said I felt like when they did the RNY they also did a partial lobotomy. As far as goal weight, I'd like to be at 150 before plastics.  That might be a pipe dream, but it's okay to dream.  Just so long as you're willing to be flexible. Take care. Ellen

I love this thread!  It definately proves to me that experience is the best teacher!  Thank you all for your insight. Shawana - you are a wonderful person inside from what I can tell.  You definately make me laugh, as I am sure you do to many others!  This is a great quality to possess, believe me, I wish I could. LOL - I look forward to following your journey!  Thanks for making me think and laugh! Melinda