Not Sure What To Say Here

See, that's me! I've never thought about weight as a negative... well unless you are too skinny!    I already have friends saying comments and I'm not sure how it will go after surgery. I know I won't change who I am... Will other people see I am still me? I guess when my best friend said I was 'going to get skinny and leave her'... she's a thick woman now... it really made me doubt that others would still see me for me. Honestly, there are some I could care less if they stay or go, but they know that already.  That no BS rule! Thanks for sharing with me... let's me know it will work out. Hugs

I am over 2 years out and my whole life has changed. I am not the fat "jolly red cheek" person. I have gotten mean. I find where I have to defend myself all the time now. I hear how bad I look now and how sick I look. Most of my overweight friends are mean to me now and put me down. So needless to say they are not my friends now. I have people at my work ask me if I have a eating disorder. They know I had gbs. People I don't even know in the store will ask me if I am anorexic. I don't ask them if they are eating to much. Some people change and it will make you change. I have gotten so mean to people. Because they are mean to me. I get so tired of it.....................But I can say I got what I always wanted.............healthy and skinny...................health comes first.......................

Yes, health come first. Then a swift kick in a few people's @$$ sounds in order. You don't need people like that in your life. Put a foot down, Hunny.  Thanks for the info about the "Other Side'. Keep your head up and enjoy your health! Hugs

Hi Shawana - I'm sure you must be nervous about your procedure, but for you, there is probably mostly fear of the unknown. To have always been heavy, the idea of being thin is something you really can't relate to. It will be a difficult adjustment, but one you will come to love and appreciate and find yourself wondering..."What the heck was I thinking?" We love ya. Hang tough. xoxo Mary Ann

I'm as nervous as a skinned cat! I think your right about the 'unknown'. I'm just bummed because I won't be able to get me the t-shirt that says 'I Beat Anorexia'!  I wanted one of those SOOOOOO bad!!  Hugs

Hey Shawana.  I agree with a lot of the above thoughts.  You're the same person inside, no matter what size you are on the outside.  Your doctor can work with you to tweak your diet if you, or he/she, thinks you're getting too thin.  The best way to think of it is that you're getting healthier, not focusing on what size you'll be.  I believe you've got jitters too, it comes out differently in each of us. I do have one other thought, I'm going out on a limb and don't want to offend.  It's just that it's what I faced too.  I feared losing weight because I used my weight to shield myself from the outside.  Everything I wanted to do, but was afraid to fail at, I could attribute not trying to my weight.  If I did mess up, I could blame my fatness.  I used my weight as a cushion and a crutch.  I used my weight to keep from feeling hurt, anger, other negative emotions.  Part of this amazing journey I've been on the last couple of years has been to learn to let go of the control and just see what happens.  Failure is okay, so is success.  Feeling is okay, even the bad stuff.  Experiencing life is wonderful, even when it hurts, which I know sounds weird.  I hid behind my weight before, but I won't do that anymore. If this doesn't apply to you, that's fine.  I just wanted to share what I went through.  I hope you find the answers you seek. Take care. Ellen

 You know my secret!  Honestly, I 've used my weight to not try/do something... but only if it's something I have no interest in. I'm the first one to get stupid and jump off the bridge! I've never been shy or worried about my weight, but I will use it to my advantage if I'm feeling lazy and don't want to mow!  OK, soooooo maybe that did near kill me last time!  I do understand where you are coming from. I have a friend that is the same way. She's 80 pounds lighter than I am and you would think she could barely do anything. B%*&^$ can still run! LOL She's my best firend and I love her dearly anyway. Control issues... yeah I'm eat slap up with them. I'm a bossy snot. (My son's therapist said he was 'quirky and self-centered... a bit bossy"... Poor kid got it honest. The bossy and quirky he got from me... self-centered is all about his dad. I'm such a good mama... I pass on bossy and shared some size! Oh.,and  let's not forget the crazies!)  And, offend away! I'm hard to offend and don't like the truth sugar-coated. Thanks for the input and letting me know I'm not alone. Now slow down and let me catch up to you! Hugs

Um.... self-centered came from the Y chromosome.  There's not been a man yet, that I've known, that doesn't qualify. Ellen

Hi Ellen - I just wanted to commend you on an excellent post. These fingers could have typed those very words. I look forward to after this surgery so I have no more excuses to hide. Thanks for "outting" me. LOL Mary Ann      

With all the cleaning I've been doing lately, outing is just another part of my job.   Seriously though, things like this are important to share, in my opinion.  If we can be real with others, then maybe they'll see some of themselves and relate.  I wish I'd learned this about myself earlier, but God's timing is so much better than mine. Take care. Ellen