hi i have a date----im scared!

I have come soooo far. I finally got a date and its may 23rd. I got my approval letter yesterday in the mail. I thought I would be so excited and happy but I went to bed and cried myself to sleep. I will be having surgery in greenville, nc with dr john pender---anyone had him???? I just look at my babies and I wonder --- am I doing the right thing??? I am so afraid of the risk. I am 287 at 5ft 4, I am 31 and I dont have any serious health problems yet... Should I be so afraid. I try to be positive but I look at my children and think to myself what if this is the wrong decision-----what if never see them again??? Any help out there?????? Thanks, Carol

without any health risks it makes you an ideal candidate!!! it is normal to worry. just do whatever they ask. walk walk walk after surgery!!! take your vitamins. you will do great. greenville has a great program although I do not know pender. i'm assuming this is at ECU. my surgery was the best thing that i ever did. goodluck with this!!!! it is a tough decision but it will give you a new lease on life. you'll appreciate everything so much...everything that thin people take for granted we all of a sudden feel like we have a new power..it is awesom!!!! best wishes susan

Hi Carol, First of all congratulations on your surgery date!!! Your feelings are the most natural normal feelings that about all of us felt just prior to surgery! I would be worried if you had no concerns. I can't even begin to describe how wonderful you are going to feel when those pounds start falling off. I had my surgery done at UNC Chapel Hill. Trust me when I say you are going to be fine... and better than ever! Many blessings, Diane

Carol, We all felt the same way as you are feeling now. Please try and not worry about the surgery, it will SAVE your life. I was well over 300 pounds when I started and now I am in the 160's ,,, I can do so much more now, and I fell like a new woman. Look at this , this way--- if you do not lose some of that deadly weight soon, your babies may lose thier mommy. Also as you lose weight you will teach them about eating correctly. I was a wreck up until the day of my surgery, but that faithful morning ( March 14, 2006 ) I felt ready to get it over with, for me I had little discomfort, and recovery was so easy, I never had all the pain some have, I really think the walking does all people says it does, KEEP yourself up and going, listen to the doctor and your nitritionst be good and you will heal fast and it will be you writing this letter to the next breed of LOSERs. This time next year you also will be wearing a size 10 like me and so many of us 2006 LOSERs. It is a wonderful tool, don't be scared. Hang in there Woman you will love it Allison

Hey! I think all of us get scared. I can imagine once I have my date, I will probably be even more scared. My mom is sick and I have a midly disabled 16 yr old brother. I am the main one that spends time with them and takes care of them. I love them more than anyone in my family. I worry about them. If something happens to me, who will love them like I do. But, we are taking this big step, so that we can better ourselves and we will be there more years to take care of our loved ones. You are doing this for them as well as yourself. Don't feel bad about being scared, it is normal. I have even cried once and I don't even have a date yet. It is a big step and I have heard that it will be an emotional roller coaster, but when you can go out and run with your children and play without having to stop and take breathing breaks, it'll be worth it. I wish you the best of luck. You do great. Stacy

Hi Carol. As the others have said, fear is normal, this is a major operation. However you're age, good health, and BMI are on your side. I was 350, 34, and no co-morbidities, and they said that they expected me to have no complications. They of course make no guarantees, but they expected none, and there were none. Having said that, I went into this believing that if God decided that March 28th was my day to go, then it didn't matter whether I was on the operating table at Pitt County Memorial, or sitting at home eating Ho-Hos. I decided that I can't make decisions like this based on the possibility that I might die. I had to make the best possible decision knowing that I most probably would live. I came to the conclusion that I was more scared of living the rest of my life at 350 than dying trying to be healthy. Ultimately, only you know for sure if this is the right thing for you. I'm guessing, however, since you went through all the pre-op stuff, you probably believe it is. Your day will be here soon. Concentrate on what you can do to be in the best possible shape for your recovery. Walk daily for as long as you can. Start upping your protein now. Get used to eating very small bites, chewing them way more than you normally would, and sipping water rather than gulping it. Feel free to email me if you want to. Take care. ~Ellen

I was scared also! It is a normal thing. I thought I was giving up my life! Yikes - no food or no more of the food I like! It was horrible to think about! BUT... You get to eat fine. I had surgery last month. I am eating fine and the meats that I like. I am eating 2-3 ounces of meat and 1-2 ounces of fruit and veggies. I am full. I still get the satisfaction of eating. I cannot eat raw vegetables or carbs yet. I will in about 5 months. But that loss is countered by the miracle of weight loss! It is amazing and rewarding! Tossing out the 3-5x shirts and the size 28 pants was so freeing! I am 5'4 and I weighted at my most was 291 last spring. I took Topamax until my surgery and lost a lot of weight. This surgery was the best thing for me. I am 48 and I and I feel great. I was on a lot of medications and I am off of most of them. It is also normal to think of the risks you are deciding to have major surgery. Once you find the doctor and ask all the questions you need to help you understand the risks, you will be assured that all will be fine. I found a doctor that I trusted with my life and I had a great experience. Most unfortunate incidents are because of health issues of the patient. But you sound like your are healthy and strong. It should be fine. I have diabetes, high blood pressure and the surgery went well for me. take care, and my advice is choose a doctor that you feel comfortable with and ask questions. take care Antoinette

Hey everyone, Thanks so much for all your support. I havent been able to talk about my feelings because I wanted to appear strong. I dont want my kids or my husband to know how scared I was. I have read everyones response and I greatly appreciate everyone being so positive for me. I have made up my mind that this is gonna be a good thing for me. I am DETERMINED to make it through this so I can finally start to live again for me and my kids. We CAN speak things into existance, I believe that and I am goning to be just fine. From this point on I will try my best to be positive. I want to thank everyone once again!!! THANKS.carol

Sorry, I had to give a little giggle. When I saw "Hi I have a date and I'm scared" I initially thought date with a man- thinking of main lap posts! Congratulations on your date, that's wonderful! I believe you will be giving your children a better life by being healthy for them AND you be teaching them good eating habits to grow up with. It's ok to be scared, the first time I went under general anesthesia I felt the same way. Keep posting or PMing us, we're her to help you! The Night Owl -Wendy I wish I could

Carol-I can certainly identify with your feelings of fear and the need to stay strong for your family. I too have had a bit of the nervous jitters, especially as things progress to my actually getting the approval for the surgery. The responses to your message have been awesome and I certainly hope you take the suggestions to heart, I know that I will. I am a single mom (single in the most single sense) of a 5 year old and I have similiar concerns about my daughter. What has helped me is to refer to the literature. In the literature, those that have the most severe complications have a number of co-morbidities. Like you, I don't have co-morbidities so we have to remind ourselves that we are the best candidates for this type of surgery and there is tremendous probability for success. I wish you well and my prayers will be with you. Alex