Has anyone had any problems with their psychological release for surgery?

I'm having BIG TIME problems. Instead of 1 or 2 visits, I've had 7 and still no release - now I have visit number 8 coming up. I've included my husband in on some visits, and this man has even managed to **** off my husband. The problem is this psych doesn't want to hear anything from me except that it's my fault that I got this fat. He thinks I am evasive, deflective, in denial, and I think at times he has more or less called me a liar - particularly when I produced a food diary to proove what my diet is like. He told me that I couldn't possibly be eating that way or I would stave to death. People that I know who have gone to him for the evaluation were coached in what to say to get his signature. In other words - they lied to him to get in and out. I go in there with honesty, lie about nothing, and get made to feel like I'm not being honest with him. What he wants is someone to come in there and tell him that their eating is out of control and they want to learn how to change that. Buy in my case, I have limited contact with my mother and her family - and they are all very obese people. This has everything to do with genetics - but he won't hear that. Genetics or not, he believes that I use that as an excuse, and my lifestyle is to blame. Everytime I try a "suggestion" of his to humor him, he finds fault with something else. Before this last visit, my husband said the only way to get rid of this guy is to do all this stuff and show an effort to appease him and we would be done with him. So in the last visit, I told him I was walking everyday and was feeling good, and I tried to simulate my eating patterns to match a post surgery diet. I'm doing well with that.... But , when I licked my lips over the description of a creme brulee that I had on my recent honeymoon - he tells me that this action indicates food addiction and I am in denial! Never mind that it was the first creme brulee that I ever had in my life and probably the last. Dammit - it was GOOD. I then said "Now, if I was a skinny thing, and I licked my lips over a creme brulee, you would have nothing to say about that, but since I'm fat, this prooves that I have a food addiction???"! But I'm not allowed to question his view of seeing fat people as victims of themselves. He can not fathom the idea that sometimes, people are just fat, and there is only so much that they can do for themselves alone. He is a tall thin vegetarian man who can not relate to my situation, and if I get defensive, it's because after 2 1/2 months of visits with him, I'm tired of his condescending attitude and unwillingness to believe that what I tell him is the truth. What he believes is that "I believe" it's the truth - because you know...I'm "in denial". We have talked about my childhood, my family, my life, my job, my kids, and on and on and on - for WHAT? I'm there due to an insurance requirement. Why am I still there? What happened to 2 visits? I've got 8. Every time I leave this man's office I am either pissed off or upset because he makes me feel like garbage. The last visit, he pissed off my husband too, because after we said all the things he wanted to hear, he still found something else to pick at me about - I refuse to eat leafy green vegetables because I don't like them - and THAT is not going to change, surgery or not. I don't like them. Next visit, I'm telling him that after $1000 in fees, I no longer have enough money to pay for anymore visits and I need a decision. If I start all over with somone else, I will have to pay the testing fee and consult fees all over again - I would still be out $1000 to this man, and have to pay another $300 to someone else. I'm thinking, if he won't sign off on the approval after I tell him that I am no longer able to afford him, then I will call the insurance company, the surgeon, and another counselor. The surgeon's office told me they don't care who I see; they go by whoever's report land's in my file first. I'm so frustrated! This doctor received a number of good reviews by other people on this site, but those people were in and out of his office, not there for almost 3 months like me. Has ANYONE else had problems getting past this part of the process??

hey i went to see dr abramowitz in charlotte and he did the same thing to me. he told me that he felt i wasnt getting enough support at home and so he thinks i should come for a second visit.. so im going to a sec visit BUT,,,, with a female doc this time.. not him!!!!its all just part of jumping through the hoops. linda

Good Lord you have gone through some DRAMA!! If you weren't on any meds before honey you probably need them now! I say ditch his @$$ and go to another doc. I too believe that 75% of the reason I am fat is genetics... the rest is the creme brulee... but really, he is not the know all see all in your surgery, and ultimately the new and improved you! I saw a fabulous woman psych! And it was no problem. She really focused on how I deal with stress and if I eat excessively when I am mad or sad. I told her no and gave her a great example of how I handled a situation and she passed me with flying colors. You just need to show that you can handle the changes that you are going to have to deal with fo rthe rest of your life. And if the doctor doesn't think you are mentally stable enough then that is when there is a problem. Just try someone else.. I would cancel my next appt and go from there. ~misslaura

Well he should know you are devoted to making this work if you kept going back! Are you able to see another doc that's approved by your surgeon? That is ridiculous! I am so sorry you had that experience! My shrink made me join the YMCA so they knew I wasn't messing around when my eval for surgery. Isn't it uncommon for people to have to go more than twice? Good luck and stay strong. I applaud your dedication! Shawana

I am sorry you are having to deal with this. I agree with the other posters -- cut your losses and find someone else. This is ridiculous!!! Good luck to you. Hugs, Donna

My psych visit consisted of a interview session where i answered questions and then a short computer based test. Then a second visit with like a million computer questions. I didn't volunteer anything, nor did I have to return afterwards. I would advise that you scrap it, cut your losses and run to someone else. It sounds like he's trying to create repeat business, not helping you achieve your main goal of becoming healthier. Good Luck.

Well, the surgeon's office said that I can seek a second opinion, but this second person must indicate in their notes who I originally visited. I called a woman psych this time. She told me that she does a written exam, not the long 550+ T/F one, then after the exam we talk about my eating history, WLS, what my goals and expectations are, then she writes up her report and usually has it into my surgeon in a week. What a difference! I told her what was going on - and in HER words "So it started out as a bariatric eval and turned into couples therapy..." She does need to have the other pysch's notes to include in her report, however, so I will have to sign a release. He will, of course, know by that time that I have sought a second opinion. I just hope his report doesn't screw this all up for me - or at the very least, her report carrys more weight.

May I suggest Dr. Lilly with NE Psych...he is tied in with Dr. Bauman...but he was great...short interview, short test...he wants to make sure that you expectations from the surgery are realistic and that you are going to follow through with dieting regime.

I am so sorry you have had to endure this abuse. He sounds like a major jacka$$. I saw Nora Patterson in East Charlotte. She was wonderful. I took the written, fill in the box test and then we talked for maybe 15-20 minutes. It was actually like chatting with a girlfriend. I never felt intimated or judged. She faxed my test results to my MDs office while I was still there and told me not to be worried that everything would be fine. $75.00 (co-pay) later, I was done with this part of the pre-surgery process. AFTER you get past this, I would recommend reporting this to both your Doctor and the Medical Board. This just really make me mad that some clueless, money-hungry jerk in sabotaging you. Best wishing in getting through this soon.